My Revival Experience – Draft

This is important for me to write because alcohol is fun, but drinking excessively is a problem that most college students face. You always hear the fun stories of how great it is to be drunk but the horror stories of where bad things happen is real and should be known and that is why this matters.

I’m not an interesting person, but ever experience is interesting and different. That is why I think I need to write about this.

Begin:

I woke up, but didn’t really wake up, more like snapped out of a trance and I was sitting next to a fire circle with people twirling flames and with no memory or recollection of how I got there. Looking around, there were two guys next to me and I had no clue who they were but in arm’s reach was my friend, Owen. So, at this point I wasn’t completely alone, but I had no clue how we had gotten here.

“So, how did you guys find each other?” someone asked.

“Oh! Ask her!” Owen waved the person off to me, “my sister is better at telling the story way better than I am.”

His group looked over at me. Somehow, in my drunk state, I…we managed to keep the story of us, Owen and I, being siblings rolling and we had everyone here believing us.

With music festival season coming to an end, a whole new season of music and festivities are coming up. Music festivals are fun and full of life. There is just something energizing about being in a space full of your favorite music with other people who also share your love for this music. Maybe you aren’t even a fan of the music, but rather the atmosphere of a festival. This was me. I wasn’t into the whole, indie-mello vibe. I’m more punk rock princess that likes to mosh. My friend, Owen, was going to this festival, Revival, and asked me to go with and after he described it to me, I wanted to just be apart of this music festival and just surround myself with peace, love, and joy. This was a hippie fest. This is my recollection of the music festival Revival and how it changed my drinking habits, for better.

Now, backing up where do I begin with this.

 

Owen is my friend from college and probably my only Asian friend. We became friends by accident, I was hanging out in my friend’s dorm unraveling her yarn ball and Owen, who at the time was an RA on campus, was making rounds, stopped and helped me unravel the ball of yarn. From there our friendship blossomed and we only got closer. I went to him with my boy troubles and he always asked me to hang out and to go get food with him, because I’m always down to eat. We eventually saw each other as siblings and that’s our relationship. Siblings.

 

It was mid afternoon on a Friday when Owen and I had arrived to the revival campground. Driving in there were people dressed as fairies with big torn up wings, others dressed like gypsies with the coin skirts, some dressed in fur like foxes, or just jeans with body paint, but for a fact no one was wearing shoes. I wonder what these people do for day jobs; this is one weekend a year. Where do these people live?

 

Now that I’m older, drinking underage is a hassle because you have to find someone to buy you alcohol and find a time to pick it up if you aren’t with him or her or your schedule just doesn’t match up. Or if you do manage to get the booze you aren’t even allowed to have it so you do more work to hide it. Yet this is a music festival, we needed alcohol for the music festival because music festivals have booze. So, obviously we needed booze.

 

At this time, Owen and I were underage, and we had glass bottles of Redds but Owen put the backpack on, because he was closer to 21 than I am, and we had to pass the security guard before getting into the campground.

“Anything in there that shouldn’t be there?”

Owen turned around to face the security guard, to get the backpack away from her. “No, of course not.”

We were so guilty but we managed to get into the campground. We decided to set up the tent and after that we went to the car to get the rest of our stuff. On our way out the security guard that let us in with somewhat of a problem, was replaced with a guy searching every nook and cranny of EVERY bag.

 

Luckily for us, our car neighbor was also bringing stuff in.

“Can you bring our alcohol in for us?” I asked.

A girl laughed, “Is this your first time?”

I nodded. “Don’t worry.” She said, “We’ve all been there.”

And she and a guy took our bags.

“There’s no glass in this right?”

“Oh, no.”

“Good because I don’t want to get caught with glass.”

 

Owen and I gave each other a look, what would happen if we were caught with glass bottles?

Thinking back on it now, I understand why no one wanted glass bottles because everyone was barefoot and if a bottle broke, disastrous. Luckily for us nothing broke and we kept the drinking in the tent. Rules are made for a reason, but they were also meant to be broken.

 

Walking up to the security guard, he searched all of their bags and gave them a weird look about a bag just full of cans of beer. “Got enough to drink here?”

“no.” the two laughed and after he checked all of their bags he let them through.

 

Our friends were still a couple of hours out, so we decided to explore everything. We got caught up at a fortune teller’s teepee. Which we learned was apart of the ‘Doctor’s’ stations and that was just a bunch of stations that helped find yourself and hone your inner chakra. There was a giving tree, where people just put things around the tree and to take something you had to leave something. Someone had a tent that you could draw on to get to know people. There was an electric neon tree next to someone’s tent, they were the definite suppliers of the good kush. Besides that there were 3 stages, left stage, right stage, and main stage where the performers will perform.

 

Last, was a fire circle, where the people who could spin fire, were allowed to spin fire here and only here. It was just a clearing in the camp ground with the trees cut high above, the circle was marked off by torches, and anyone inside had to be spinning fire. It was a definite hot spot of the festival.

 

During the day people are lounging around, shopping, or enjoying the company of others because here you’re family. Not just that families made the plan to come here because across from our tent were families and their children, running around and being one with nature. Strangers come here to be with other strangers who they will call family for the next few days.

 

Eventually our friends showed up and the real party was about to begin. The first night, the lie began about us being half-siblings who found each other in college. As a writer, I thought it was easy coming up with some long and elaborate true story for people to believe. It was a joke that brought people to tears and gave them hope. How could I tell them I was kidding?

 

The next morning; Saturday, I puked. I stumbled out of the tent and crawled against the ground, leaning over our fire pit, I puked up everything in my stomach. I leaned against a tree trunk and messed with my hair to help me breathe. People walked passed and I ignored them. I remembered what happened last night and didn’t think much of it. I’ve drank way more where I woke up with more bruises then I could count, feeling worse. This was pretty bad though because instead of being in the comfort of my own home, I had to deal with port-a-pottys. I used the bag of beer cans as a pillow and basically froze because we only had one sleeping bag.

 

We all woke up and the others had to do volunteer work because they got discounted tickets as long as they helped out. So, Owen and I experienced a little of Revival.

 

Then came an afternoon nap knowing that tonight was going to be a heavy night of drinking. I remember waking up, but just laying there accepting that this new way of living is my life. I knew there was an outside world to this wooded hippy place. I knew there was because I had my phone, how was it still alive? No freaking clue. But my phone, specifically snapchat, showed me that there is an outside world from this festival, but that’s what camping festivals do to you. You get immersed into the world of where you are and you forget what the outside world is like. It felt like a part of me had died but another part of me was alive.

 

We were on our last few hot dogs and after a heavy night of drinking and just casual drinking. I needed to eat normal food. There were food trucks/stands, but far from what I think is normal food. Everything was organic, homegrown, and super just healthy. I got a quinoa bowl with avocado and veggies and having to pay extra for the chicken. It was a small bowl, but I felt better but hungrier, but I felt ready to drink.

 

This was the night that changed my drinking habits.

We thought we had everything planned after experiencing the night before. We put balloons that lit up on the outside of our tent. So, our drunk selves would see the glowing balloons and know we live there. Our friends brought some Revival wear like glow sticks and fairy wings. One brought and started wearing a gypsy coin skirt.

 

I still hear the sound of that skirt when I think of Revival and it gives me a headache and makes my body ache. Just recently, I went to a Renaissance Festival and those skirts were there and my mind went into a spiral downhill, I knew where I was but I wasn’t completely sure. I felt myself freeze and I felt like I was going crazy. It’s an indescribable feeling, but I can’t focus and I lose myself and not in a good way.

 

The night started off with a pill of Adderall, then a nap, then waking up, and we were both surprised that the Adderall didn’t kick in. “It’s old.” Owen said.

“Let’s take another?”

We shrugged and took another Adderall pill and immediately started drinking. Using empty water bottles, we mixed the ber-ritas together with the Redds or the ber-ritas with ber-ritas making weird combinations. Taking pulls from wine in a bag, we went all out and chugged as much as we could and then we went to see the music.

 

There was dancing, cheering, lights, pictures, and things started to become fuzzy here. That’s when I woke up from my trance next to the fire circle.

 

In the moment, it wasn’t as scary as soon as I saw Owen. I don’t know what I would’ve done if Owen wasn’t around. He managed to get the guys that were following me away from me by playing the big brother card. Definitely reflecting on this is scarier because for a portion of the night, I don’t know what happened to me or what I did.

 

Sunday morning, the last morning at Revival. I didn’t puke but I felt heavy, it was raining outside and I was still wired from I’m assuming the Adderall. All I wanted to do was go home and Owen and our friend agreed. We decided to leave for civilization and go towards St. Paul, MN.

 

Revival means rebirth. I don’t know if this music festival really intended this new me to come out of it, but it did. I honestly don’t know if id ever be back here again, but I left with some unforgettable memories. Along with some multiple lessons learned.

When people say know your limit, know your limit. I let my drinking get out of hand and now alcohol isn’t the same. I used to be able to drink 5-7 drinks and still be ready to party. I can barely drink 3 without wanting to hate myself and just go to bed. That being said I can still drink but the ber-ritas. I cannot drink them anymore.

 

Don’t mix drugs and alcohol, especially drugs that aren’t yours. I honestly didn’t even think anything bad would happen, but it did I’m glad nothing too terrible happened to me. Waking up Sunday morning, there were band-aids holding down gauze on my left knee, I felt the bruises all along my ribcage, and on my left breast is a cigarette burn, which is now a scar that I use to watch my drinking. The redder it is means I should stop drinking, while the more blended it is to my skin, the more sober I am.

 

Drink in moderation and don’t be dumb. You hear that a lot I’m sure, but take it from someone who lived it and is grateful that nothing bad happened to me. Waking up somewhere with no memory of how you got there surrounded by strangers, is scary. Drugs are bad, especially other’s, nothing good ever really comes from them besides for their prescribed purpose. Change your life for better, but don’t do it by doing the worse.

End~

This is long and not all of it needs to be there. So, there will definitely be some cuts.

I’m thinking about adding some of my family aspects in the blank spaces of this experience. To almost remind people that drinking not only affects yourself but your family as well.

I have already set up my meeting with Karmen and plan to add her information over the weekend.

 

What are your thoughts?

What do you think is missing?

CD Review – Echoes by Young Guns

With already established rock bands like Three Days Grace, You Me At Six, Papa Roach, and other bands that may not fit in this genre like Twenty-One Pilots noted as alternative hip hop. Young Gun’s  new album Echoes, easily sets them apart from the rest of the rock genre. This has it all.

Young Guns is an alternative rock band from the UK. Since their beginning in 2004, Echoes is their 4th album released September 2016 following after their previous album Ones and Zeros.

Honestly, I liked this album so much from the first song that I immediately saved this album onto my Spotify.

When I first listen to an album, I listen to it from beginning to end without skipping songs. Then I go from there. I can always tell if I think a song is good because it’ll keep me interested the entire time versus a song that sounds just like another generic song (think something on the radio that has been played 4 times time in the same hour) where they just end blended up in the background.

“Bulletproof” is the opening to the album Echoes and immediately grabbed my attention. I’m a sucker for the sound of the guitar, it’s hearing the way the string vibrates pulls me into the song. The song kicks off with the sound of drums and guitars and immediately sets the mood on what kind of album this is going to be. Rock.

Another song that stood out to me is the 9th track “Mercury In Retrograde.” It’s the softer one on the album and really focuses on the singing; it’s like a Twenty-One Pilots sound. The song’s focus is the singing with the drums in the background, but all is heard above the electronic keyboard (listen to Car Radio by TOP for more understanding.) Then it goes into the rock, bringing back the guitar and then points the focus back onto the singer. Definitely a slow song, but kept the pace of the album.

“Bones” featured on their first album Bones released in 2012 is their most popular song on Spotify. Listening to that album and now Echoes Young Guns sound hasn’t really changed from when their first album was recorded.

What gives these guys a listen is that this album is a mix of sounds but still has a sound that people like and look forward to when it comes to rock music. If you’re a fan of Three Days Grace, Papa Roach, or Twenty-One Pilots definitely give them a listen. You won’t be disappointed. You’ll find a song on this album that will definitely suit your fancy.

Website

Twitter: @YoungGunsUK

Personal Experience – Personal Narrative

“Can I try some of that?” my 14-year-old sister asks me after I sit down with a glass of wine. I give her a look that she knows she’s in trouble and shouldn’t have asked that. Yet, she insists.

It reminds me of what our middle sister told me. Our dad used to be a self-diagnosed alcoholic, meaning he saw that he had a drinking problem and stopped on his own. Then, when I moved out of the house, I started drinking and he was scared for me. He never told me about his problem and I wonder if I had known would I have watched my drinking?

Now, my youngest sister is 14 and is curious about alcohol and I’m scared for her. Whenever I drink, she always asks if she can try some. I say no. Yet, even when I don’t drink around her, she’ll see my alcohol sitting on the cabinet and ask for a glass.

 

I didn’t even stop drinking on my own. It was one experience that changed my drinking habit. It’s been a year since my experience at Revival. Thanks to this experience though, I’m able to tell this story and tell first-hand what over drinking does to you.

 

I wanted to include something like this in the personal narrative because the only thing i have in my personal narrative right now is my drinking experience at Revival.

Caffeine State of Mind

i am in a caffeine induced state. i worked a 3pm-midnight shift at work and while doing so i had an icee, a large coca-cola, and when i got home i ate and then took a 5 hour energy just so i can do homework.

“do your homework over the weekend.”

at this point i should’ve and i could’ve but instead i visited my friends in storm lake.

“this is your own fault.”

yes, i never said it wasn’t but i had two options, stay at home and hate myself because all my housemates were invited out for a birthday OR go hang out with people i like and maybe get as much homework done then as i would have but lonely and sober. i chose not to hate myself on a saturday night and drove the hour and a half just to hang out with my BV friends.

So, now i find myself in a caffeine induced state.

since elementary school i always did my homework as soon as i got home because the sooner you finish your homework the less you have to worry about it and that’s how i’ve always done my homework. now that i’m older, i find it harder to do your homework right after school because right after school i go to work.

“stop working.” or “don’t work too many hours then.” or “make a different schedule.”

lol. i can’t stop working because i need money for bills. i have to work as many hours i can to pay for all of my bills and then for food, at the end of the day after i pay for all of the necessities, i have a whooping $27 in my checking account until next payday and thanks to my automatic $25 transfer into my savings to help me save money i have $2 in my bank account. So, while knowing all of this i can’t make a different schedule and i just have to roll with the punches.

my body hates me, i’m sure. but i just always remind myself that my body has been through worse shit than this (this can be another story). not only that, but whenever i come back from MN, i take a 5hourEnergy before beginning my 6hr drive back to sioux city. So, in my mind, i’m thinking “at least i’m not driving.” and after this year i probably won’t ever have to do this ever again.

this is: fucking my body over on caffeine just to stay awake to graduate.

because one day, i will be sitting in my castle in france with a cup of tea and my cats, with a pen and paper on the table next to me. all of this isn’t for nothing, i’m gonna get there.

This I Believe…

I believe people will do whatever to impress someone they like. When I say like, I thinking more towards ‘like to be in a relationship’.

I said this statement out loud to my roommates and the guy said, “I don’t think that’s true.” and the other roommate said, “I know some guys what won’t do anything if they like you.”

So, what they said was interesting to me because does a person really like you if they don’t try harder to impress you or are they too proud?

I believe if someone likes you they will try a little harder to impress you then they do for most people.

My evidence is I have a guy friend, Andy*, right now who is trying to impress one of my girlfriends, Gwen*. Andy and I have been friends for 2 years we hang out, drink, do dumb things, and whatever it is friends do. But within the two years of knowing him, I never knew he baked. Until this year, when he baked Gwen her favorite kind of cookie and banana bread! When he told me that he was making cookies, I asked him to make my favorite cookie, the peanut butter cookie with the Hershey kiss in the middle. In the end, he didn’t bake my favorite cookie but he did bake Gwen’s favorite cookie. He did make an excuse telling me that I asked for a ‘Christmas cookie’ meaning he wouldn’t break rules for me because I’m not someone he would like to date, I’m just a friend. While Gwen is someone he would like to eventually be in a relationship with so he’s trying more.

*names are changed.

Some other examples I have about people trying really hard to impress someone they want to be in a relationship with is from my own experience.

  • I told a guy my favorite Pokemon is Bulbasaur and how I’ve always wanted a stuffed animal. Next thing I knew, he ordered one online and gave it to me as a gift. We never got together.
  • Another guy always opened the car door and etc for me, brought me a new backpack when he saw my other one ripping, a new purse because the one I had was falling apart. All of these things were still in perfect working condition but it had to be fixed to him so he brought me all these new things. Things didn’t work out in the end.
  • At a music festival, I met a guy who had to play a show somewhere else. It was my last night at this festival. So, after his show, this guy drove back to the festival to hang out with me before I left. Nothing happened after that.
  • My current boyfriend, who at the time wasn’t anything but a stranger to me, drove down six hours just to see me again.

I read this quote online about relationships, but I’m not completely sure how it goes, just that the overall meaning of it is: don’t date someone who initially isn’t nervous around you because if they really like you they should be scared to mess things up with you.

It really stuck with me, even if I don’t remember the actual quote, the meaning  is stuck with me. So, in the end, I do believe that if you like someone or if someone likes you, they’ll or you’ll try harder to impress that person so that you are ‘worthy’ enough and the best candidate to be in a relationship with them.

Here’s What Other People are Thinking About

I miss my animal. ‘Animal’ is underlined because it could be any animal that someone misses, like a dog or a hedgehog. That’s what I think other people are thinking about. And I am a part of these people because in my case, I miss two cats, Noble and Zero. Writing this, I feel bad for the people that live on campus because they don’t get anything besides a fish. When people come to college they leave behind their pets. Not that they have a choice of leaving their pets behind, but they go from seeing them every day to not seeing them at all. It honestly really sucks and that’s just my opinion and experience. I get to live with my cats again in a month.

I admit that I purposefully left my cats with their dad/my boyfriend in Minnesota. Moving into my new place, the silence was nice. Being away from them was nice, I don’t have to deal with Noble’s constant sad meowing when the door was closed, him clawing trying under the door to come into the room, and the furriness of his butt in my face when he tried to cuddle with me. I also don’t have to deal with Zero’s sassiness or force him to love me. Honestly, though, I miss them so much from their little pink toe beans, annoying meows, and brotherly fights. After moving out from them, I learned that I wasn’t dealing with it because I love it all. I don’t know what I was thinking, saying yes to leaving them in MN, 6 hours away from me. I miss them so much.

Honestly, it is nice not having to deal with their litter box but I miss seeing Noble’s tuffs of fluffy white hair all over the floor and Zero trying to get out of the house just to sit outside in the sun. Yet, these are the reasons I love my boys and when we are together it won’t be for just a weekend. It’ll be for forever.

Sibling Relationships Final

The phone stops ringing and at the top of the screen it says: “Sister Dear Facetime unavailable” and with a sigh, I tap the cancel button. Within the next minute, the ringing is back and it’s my little ‘Sister Dear’ Tiffany FaceTiming me back.

This year, Tiffany is a sophomore at the University of Omaha. I tap the answer button, she is wearing a towel and in the process of drying her hair. It’s 11pm. She likes to shower late, just like when all of our conversations happen. Late.

Yet, once the other answers it’s like we aren’t even apart. It immediately goes into a conversation about her day and the past other days just to catch me up on her life. Some days there just isn’t time for us to talk. “It’s really hard being here,” Tiffany said, “hard because sometimes I just want to talk to someone who understands everything about me, but I can’t because our schedules are different. When one person is free the other isn’t or sleeping or working . . . it’s just hard.” It’s the really bad days that get us to call another.

Long-distance sibling relationships aren’t your typical relationships because casual relationships fade over time sibling ties are forever. When you stop seeing a friend and you meet back up sometimes the relationship is still there but other times, the connection is just gone. You don’t really have that problem with siblings it’s just the family connection. You don’t have to talk or interact often because no matter what family ties last.

The thing is with FaceTime conversations they can last a while, compared to a quick phone conversation. Brayton Hagge, in her last year of college at Morningside, has a younger sister, Keely, who just started college at Doane. It was between Brayton’s classes when she got a call from her sister needing to talk to her as soon as she can.

Brayton agrees that sibling conversations are never chit-chat it’s always, “I had a really bad day can you listen to me?” or “OMG this just happened!” or “OMG I can’t believe this just happened to me.” or even “Hey, I just wanted to hear your voice.” those are the only times Brayton hears from Keely, and I hear from Tiffany. It’s the dramatic moments or the big moments in life that make long distance sibling relationships hard because you’re only in contact with those moments. Even then you hear about what happened it’s a couple of days late.

Telby, my boyfriend from Minnesota, thinks a little differently. His home in Minnesota is six hours away from Sioux City and he talks to his younger brother once or twice a week via phone call, snapchat, or text message. “I think it’s relaxing,” Telby laughs, “that means I don’t have to deal with Tyber [his brother] and his nonsense.”

Distance with siblings is a part of growing up and it can’t be avoided. There are ways to adjust to the distance such as setting aside time during the day to make plans to talk. Texting is also an option but it can be harder because other things can distract you while you’re texting, while a phone conversation is in the moment and present for the person and self.

The distance of being in another state is just different from other types of distance because according to Tiffany, “Going away, this time, is more permanent compared to an overnight trip or being gone for a week. You never know when you’re going to see the person again.”

For Brayton, she says it was hard studying abroad in Northern Ireland last year because she had to miss her sister’s high school graduation. Sure, Keely was mad that Brayton missed her graduation. Yet, the distance also brings people together.

“Now that Keely is in college it’s easier for us to relate now that we are dealing with the same challenges,” Brayton says.

Telby says, “Being apart has made our relationship better and I appreciate them more when I do spend with them.”

“Hey, I’m getting sleepy. Thanks for talking to me.” My sister says.

“No problem. Good night.” We blow each other kisses and then we hang up. It doesn’t get easier, but it’s all just a growing process. My little sister just isn’t so little anymore. We’re all just learning how to be on our own and sometimes we just need someone to hear us.

Sibling Distance Draft

I’m picking at the scab on my face in the reflection of the phone as it rings. “C’mon, c’mon. Pick up.” The phone stops ringing and at the top it says: “Sister Dear Facetime unavaliable” and with a sigh I tap the cancel button. Then within the next minute the ringing is back and it’s my Sister Dear, Tiffany, FaceTiming me back.

I tap the answer button, she is wearing a towel and in the process of drying off her hair. It’s 11pm at night. She likes to shower late, just like when all of our conversations happen. Late.

Yet, once the other answers it’s like we aren’t even apart. It immediately goes into a conversation regarding about her day and days past because some days, there isn’t much to talk about or there just isn’t time for us to talk.

The thing is with FaceTime conversations they can last a while, compared to a quick phone conversation. Brayton Hagge, in her last year of college at Morningside has a younger sister, Keely, who just started college at Doane. It was between Brayton’s classes when she got a call from her sister needing to talk to her as soon as she can.

Long-distance sibling relationship aren’t your typical relationship because relationships fade over time, sibling ties are forever. When you stop talking to or seeing a friend so often, sometimes the relationship is still the same when you meet up again but other times, the connection just is no longer there. You don’t really have that problem with siblings. Which is a broad thing to say because not all siblings get along, it’s just the family connection. You don’t have to talk or interact often because no matter what family ties last.

“What is it like being away from your sibling?” I asked my sister over FaceTime.

“Well, it’s hard. Really hard because sometimes you just want to talk to someone who understands everything about you, but you can’t because schedules are different, when one person is free the other isn’t, or sleeping. . . it’s just hard.”

Brayton agrees when I say when I talk to my sister it’s never chit-chat it’s always, “I had a really bad day can you listen to me?” or “OMG this just happened!” or “OMG I can’t believe this just happened to me.” or even “Hey, I just wanted to hear your voice.” because those are the only times Brayton hears from Keely, as with me and Tiffany. It’s the dramatic moments or the big moments in life that make long distance sibling relationships hard because you’re only in contact with those moments.

Brayton says it was hard studying abroad in northern Ireland last year because she had to miss her sister’s high school graduation

Distance; part of growing up–> different from other times

 

 

distance impact the relationship

 

way this pain/hurt can be avoided

 

conclusion: it doesn’t get easier but you can take steps and find ways to keep in touch.

Phone conversation. Texting is hard because so busy and things can distract you when texting, but on the phone it is in the moment and present for the personand self.

 

Questions for Reader:

What do you want to read?

What do you want to know?

Confusion?

What think should be added?

The Interesting Place

The Interesting Place

My scavenger hunt is going into someplace that I normally see and being curious enough to go in there and write about what was going on and what I saw.

Instead, I searched my memories and one memory that will and has always stuck with me is the first time my house was robbed. And for the first time, in my life, I’m going to put it down. I feel my eyes welling up and my chest getting tight because this moment was the first moment that I think really shaped the rest of my life.

I’ve lived in Vietnam where I had my dogs kidnapped in the middle of the night and I learned later that they were probably eaten, the house I lived in with my family, across the street was a little girl with her older sister and mother (who wasn’t there) they  lived a little above the poverty line where at least they had a roof over their head and i wonder about them to this day, i was kept a close eye on because i am an american and to other vietnamese people kidnapping a little girl and holding her for ransom money is a possibility. Vietnam opened my eyes and the things i learned there as a kid i don’t think had much of an impact on me as this.

This is America. I was in the second grade. It was a rainy day, I liked and still do like the rain. But then it was just another gray day. It was a little later in the day, had to be a weekend because I wasn’t at my after school babysitter (down the hill from my house), it had to maybe be 6p or 7p. My mom had just picked me and my siblings up from the baby sitter’s house. I was so excited because at home my dad had made my favorite soup, white chicken chili, and I couldn’t wait to eat it.

My mom pulled into the garage connected to our house. I grabbed Ann Marie’s baby bag and rushed through the door leading to our basement. It was dark and unfinished with tools laying around because my dad and his friends were working on it. I’d gone through the basement before and it gives me a weird dark, creepy, basement vibe but something about this time was different. I didn’t know what but i knew something was wrong. Then Tiffany, my sister who is two years younger than me, rushed past me and ran up the stairs and immediately i shook off the feeling and ran off after her.

Upstairs there was the soup warming away in the crock pot. This is when I noticed things are a little different. My parents are very neat people and like order in their house. They live by that saying: everything has a place and everything will go back into its place. putting down Ann Marie’s diaper bag, I noticed that my dad’s video camera box was laying over on the side of the table empty, he only had it out for holidays or birthdays and we didn’t have any of those coming up.

Then Tiffany came from around the hallway, probably coming back from her room, “What’s with all the pennies?” she asked and that’s when I noticed that the floor was COVERED with pennies just tossed about and then I heard my mom’s voice.

“Girl’s get out!” she said in Vietnamese. I don’t know what she saw, but when my mom says to do something, you do something.

We went to our neighbor’s house so my mom could call the police and wait for our dad to come home which would be at 8pm or 9pm.

I remember standing in the room that looked at our house and the alley. From the other room, I could hear my mom talking to the police and my sister complaining about being hungry. I was too.

Eventually, the police showed up and the next thing I really remember is sitting on the living room floor eating some Vietnamese food my mom had picked up from the store. Tiffany was starving so I gave her my pieces to eat while I made them into smaller pieces for Ann Marie to eat.

Then a police officer sat down next to us:

“What are you guys eating?” Hue Cakes

 

 

 

I didn’t know what to say because I didn’t really know myself, I just knew it tasted good. I offered him a piece and he declined and went back to my mom. I continued to feed Ann Marie as I watched tiffany play with the pennies on the ground. What was up with the pennies? Tiffany today thinks that it was the robber’s way of laughing at us.

There’s a part about this huge piggy bank I used to have. The robbers stole the entire thing. I know that because it was a cermanic pig if they broke it glass would be everywhere. I had that pig since my first birthday, I was 7 when this happened, my mom had been putting money in there since saving up for college and it was all gone. She says there must have been over $1000 in there.

Eventually, the police wrote up their report and left. I don’t think my dad was home yet, but he was close. I asked my mom if I could eat some soup and she told me not to touch it. Why? Just in case the robbers might have poisoned it or something. She dumped the whole thing out.

I think about this memory a lot because I like analyzing it to see where I come into play. I think because of this I lock the door immediately when I walk inside the house, I don’t like wasting food because I watched my favorite soup poured down the drain or Vietnam and the sisters or my parents refusing to let me leave the table until I finished my food, my habit of not eating just to let others eat. I don’t know what else to say, but there’s the place I went to and now it’s here.

Stupid Question

Diane: “What goes on a BLT?”

Brayton: “Bacon, lettuce, and tomato.”

D: “Then why do people put avocado on it? There is no A.”

Owen: “There’s no bread either! So, what?! BBLTB?”

D: “You only have one slice of bacon on your BLT?”

O: “BBBBBBBLTB.”

D: “Bread, bread, bacon, bread, bacon, bacon, bread, lettuce, tomato, bread?”

O: “It could be banana!”

This stupid question turned into a conversation. Asking what a BLT is honestly isn’t dumb. Someone who doesn’t know what it is could genuinely be wondering what it is or what those letters together may  mean. The conversation above was with the people I live with who know what a BLT is. Brayton gave me a weird look when she answered because I always share cooking videos on Facebook, so I bet she was wondering why I was even asking.

Another dumb question I asked was to Jordan. The question was: “Do you think ants can get high on Antacid?” He looked at me confused and immediately changed the conversation. I believe that he didn’t answer me because that is just Jordan’s personality and he doesn’t deal with the stupidity of his friends. So, he chooses to ignore it.

I did get some responses to the question if they think ants can get high on antacid. The person would simply laugh and shake their head slightly while saying no. I felt dumb asking these questions like people were actually wondering if I was that dumb. Yet, am I just that curious to wonder that out loud.

Sometimes I feel like dumb questions are just more curious questions than normal questions are because no one really wants to ask them and sound dumb. I don’t think anyone wants to ask something that just seems so obvious. That being said really dumb statements followed by dumb questions do exist.

“Great Britain, home of the Britains.”