You Know The Scary Part…

This week and last week has been crazy for the residence life pro staff. Going through several different interviews, paperwork, and everything else they do on a daily basis…It’s been a rough time for them. This isn’t what this post is about though. This post is about me and how I think I’m guaranteed an RA position and the scary part is everyone knows that too.

I feel like people look at me differently knowing that group process day, the day where all interviewees come together for testing, is coming up. I’m nervous about it because i know i’m not guarenteed a spot, but everyone questions that. I mean…why wouldn’t i get a spot? I’m a campus leader, MAC exec, commuter assistant and past commuter rep, people know me on campus. I also work closely with Pro Staff…So, i feel people will only think i’m getting this job because i’m friends with them. I just hope that if they hire me for the job that i’ll be qualified enough for it.

I know i probably sound a little conceited, but this is honestly how i feel. Everyone knows i’m guaranteed a spot, but there’s the possibility i won’t get it, and that’s okay.

Home

I think homes are weird because home is different to everyone.

I know that I should be grateful for things that I have and I am, but I’ve never known a home. Yet the idea of home are where your parents are, but that’s just what everyone has told me and what I’ve come to know.

Now that I have come to find a home though, I don’t want to let it go. I just want to be there. I want to go on random adventures with my roommates. I want to stay up late and worry about not being to wake up, because I was up all night listening to their problems. I want to continue feeling important and having my quiet cleaning time. Only because that’s what made me happy.

Coming to campus has been fun and I’m sure if I never lived with the boys and I had went straight to campus, I wouldn’t feel this way right now. I’m homesick and all I want to do is spend my time there, at home.

I never knew being loved by a family would be so nice.

I never knew a family until now and then I left. Talking and thinking about it makes me sad. I’m just worried about them…

On the brightside though! I get to go home this weekend and because of that fact, I think that’s the only thing helping me get through the week! <3

Last week all I did was cry and mope around and I didn’t want to go home because I was just there, but now. After a week, I’m going back because that’s where I want to be.

When I Come Home…

I’m homesick and all i want to do is go home.

I miss my boys.

I miss the way the boys came downstairs and quietly lived out their routine. I miss hearing the sound of Kyle make his protein shake in the morning. I miss hearing Dan frantically run over to the microwave to stop it from beeping. I miss sitting on my couch/bed and seeing Tyler come down the stairs at 2pm with a puppy dog pout on his face saying the same thing: “I slept in again.”

He always wakes up at 2pm. Just as Kyle is always downstairs at 5:45 am, he’s home at 4:30 pm. I honestly miss that life. It never bothered me at all and i wish i could go back.