Rewriting a Story

Vehicle collision outside Sioux City claims another victim

SIOUX CITY, IA — A vehicle collision that occurred two miles east of Sioux City on Hwy. 20 claimed another victim this morning.

The police chief of the Woodbury County’s Sherriff’s office announced Randy Radin, a victim of an accident that occurred two weeks ago, died at 8:17 this morning.

The accident occurred at 11:00 a.m. on September 17th. Moyer Quick’s car collided with Randy Radin’s truck as they were traveling in a westerly direction on the two-lane highway. Quick went to pass Radin, but struck Radin’s truck with his rear end as he completed the pass. The impact sent both vehicles into the ditch on the north side of the road, causing Quick’s vehicle to roll once.

The Woodbury County Sheriff’s office revealed the accident caused Moyer Quick to die of heart failure. He was found dead at the scene.

The injured parties–Dorothy Quick, Maxine Steuerwald, and Randy Radin– were transported to Marian Health Center where they are receiving treatment. Passengers Dorothy Quick and Maxine Steuerwald (both passengers of Moyer’s) sustained only minor injuries, but Radin was listed as “critical” with a fractured skull and internal injuries. He never recovered from his injuries.

Dorothy and Maxine were released the day after they were admitted with minimal injuries.

The accident is still under investigation.

September 15, 2016 Leave a Comment

Quick Reflection

I believe that the most difficult part of writing my first story was trying to get the attributions right. I don’t know when it’s okay to just use an attribution and when it’s necessary to cite your information. Also, trying to rearrange my story to make my lead “less taxing” was interesting. I hope the story still flows well after the changes I made.

One of the revisions I made, as I mentioned in the last paragraph, was rearranging a couple paragraphs to make my lead less taxing. Instead of talking about Kaepernick’s refusal to stand for the national anthem right after the lead to give backstory, I decided to talk about Joyner’s speech first. By talking about Joyner’s speech first, I’m able to let the readers know that Alabama high school students aren’t in any real danger of being shot, it’s just Joyner condemning people that sit down during the national anthem.

September 15, 2016 Leave a Comment

News Comment #4

That Cute Whale You Clicked On? It’s Doomed

Wildlife photographer Paul Nicklen is changing the way people receive information about issues such as climate change. He draws people in on his Instagram account with cute pictures of animals such as otters, seals, etc. Once he has their attention, he takes to the caption to discuss how these animals are impacted by things such as pollution and global change (the kinds of issues that many people tend to ignore).

The headline’s shock factor is definitely what drew me to this article. The headline paired with the lead of the author’s experience with the photographer’s artwork sets the scene for the article. It effectively lets readers know that they’re in for an eye opening experience.

I believe that the article is well composed overall.  The author first gives information about her experience with the article, drawing you in. Then, she goes on to explain why the author feels the need to share such content and gives specific examples of his work. As you move down, the content becomes less important and is an example of the inverted pyramid style of writing.

The paragraphs in this article are longer than most paragraphs you’ll find in other articles, but I don’t feel as if that detracts from it in any way.

This is definitely a human interest story. Who doesn’t want to read about cute animals, even if it’s not considered an uplifting story? This article could also be considered newsworthy because of impact. Issues such as pollution and climate change impact people worldwide.

Source

September 14, 2016 1 Comment

Lead Practice #2

It’s Raining Cats and Firemen

A fireman dropped 15 feet out of a tree while trying to save a family’s cat, breaking his left leg.

Firefighter Bob Harwood climbed a 50 feet oak tree to save the Decker’s family cat at 102 11th Ave. He fell the last 15 feet on the way down when one of the dead limbs on the tree snapped.

Harwood is doing “just fine” at St. Lukes Hospital. The Decker’s cat is also doing fine as it used Bob to break its fall.

Disgruntled Students Causing Trouble at East High

Disgruntled students at East High are causing trouble as summer vacation draws near by sounding false alarms and starting food fights.

Ten upperclassmen sounded three false alarms last Wednesday and were suspended for one week. These students claimed they were protesting Monday’s suspension of five students who were caught smoking marijuana in the school parking lot. The events on Wednesday followed Tuesday’s food fight that closed the cafeteria.

Principal Laura Vibelius commented on the student’s behavior by saying that the unrest was “Not so much unrest because of suspensions, but because of summer vacation being near.” She claims she sees no continuation of these “incidents” in the near future.

Texaco Gasoline Truck Overturned on Outskirts of Town

A Texaco Gasoline truck overturned on the outskirts of town, causing gas to flood sewer lines, streets, and ditches for two blocks around.

The incident occurred at 48th Street and Correctionville Road, ultimately forcing four families to evacuate the scene because of the sewer-line gas and traffic to be rerouted around the accident.

Firemen under Fire Chief Charles Hochandel were prepared for such an occurrence and followed catastrophe and hazmat procedures to remedy the problems at the scene. The situation remained serious for the first two hours until the gas was flushed away, but is now considered to be under control.

September 8, 2016 1 Comment

Lead Practice

Iowa Highway Patrol Orders Ban on Hand-Held Radar Guns

The Iowa Highway Patrol ordered a ban on hand-held radar guns yesterday due to concerns that troopers could develop cancer from long-term exposure to radiation waves emitted by the devices.

After three municipal officers in Cedar Rapids filed workman’s compensation claim, saying they developed cancer from using the hand-held units, spokesman Adam Smith stated that it’s best to “Err on the side of caution until more is known about the issue.”

This ban affects 70 radar guns that will be withdrawn from service and will be in affect until more studies are conducted that show the possible links between cancer and the use of such guns.

State troopers will continue to use radar units with transmitters on the outside of their cruisers.

September 8, 2016 1 Comment

News Comment #3

Researchers Confront an Epidemic of Loneliness

Research about loneliness over the last few years has linked loneliness to physical illness and cognitive decline. After a  study revealed that 43 percent of people over 60 describe themselves as lonely and show certain physical and mental deficits as a result, it’s clear to see why countries such as the U.S. and Britain are creating programs to mitigate the problem.

The first few paragraphs of the article don’t reveal much information about what the article is truly about, but they are eye-opening and catch the reader’s attention. By starting off with a story about an older lady spending her 81st birthday alone and going a week without human interaction, this article dives headfirst into how loneliness is one of the hardest obstacles that older people face.

I feel like the article flows well, the author made sure to keep the paragraphs fairly short for readability, but still managed to pack in quite a bit of information. For example, not only did the article say how loneliness negatively affects the elderly both physically and mentally, but it also mentioned new programs that can combat this loneliness such as Silver Line Helpline.

I like the fact that the author used real life scenarios and quotes so readers can get a more intimate feel of how loneliness impacts the elderly. This article definitely has emotional and human interest appeal for that reason and made sure to incorporate these appeals into the title.

Source

September 7, 2016 1 Comment

Observation Exercise

I walk into Lincoln Center room 107 for my Principles of Management class about twenty minutes early and start to take my seat. The first thing I notice as I walk in the room is that it’s cold, as usual, and I’m glad I brought my hoodie. The next thing I take in is my surroundings. The classroom has off-white walls making it easy on the eyes. Two of the walls are adorned with older looking documents displayed in showcases and historical looking pictures hanging in frames. The back wall has a row of windows all the way across, letting in tiny bits of natural light even though the blinds are drawn. The front of the classroom has a chalkboard instead of whiteboard, which results in the occasional spine-tingling screech of chalk on chalkboard. The class has two-tiered seating in an open rectangle shape, my seat is in the back tier at one of the corners directly across from the clock. The desks are wooden on top and have a brownish orange metal barrier in front that covers most of a student’s legs (something that any student that wants to text in class can appreciate). The atmosphere in the classroom is serene, a blessing for any tired college student.

There is only one other student in the classroom sitting silently in the dark, computer out in front of him, headphones in, typing away. Teachers always joke with students, saying that they can turn the lights on, that we’re not forced to sit in the dark, but I always like it better with the lights off, it’s more relaxing. The spell is broken when another student comes in behind me and flips the lights on. I silently take my seat.

The student that walked in behind me sits down, pulls out his computer, and looks over his notes. He puts in his headphones, but his music is loud enough to hear regardless. Another student that I just had in another class slowly walks in, looking down at his phone on his way to his seat. He sits beside the first person I found in the classroom and they make small talk. Another student walks in followed by the teacher of next door’s class. She jokes around with a couple of the students and then leaves, leaving no clear indicator as to why she came in the classroom in the first place.

People are walking by and talking in the hallway and it’s easy to tell that class time is drawing near. Two more people walk in and instantly get on their computers, which seems to be a common theme. After they walk in, I open up my book and try to study for the upcoming quiz. The teacher of my Principles of Management class walks in about ten minutes before class starts and says a quick good morning before walking out again . He returns a couple of minutes later, takes a seat, and starts setting up for class. As more people stream into the classroom the number of conversations starts to pick up.

At one point, one of the students proposes an open note quiz, but the professor quickly assures the class that the quiz will be a breeze. I close my book shortly after hoping that the professor isn’t bluffing.

As the class starts to reach capacity, I notice some people sitting in new spots. With only two open seats left in the classroom, there never seems to be quite enough seats for everybody to sit where they want. There are at least a couple of students that move around the classroom every class period like nomads, never seeming to take the same seat twice in a row. When the class is full, it’s easy to see the diversity in the room. People have a variety of majors, ethnicities (there are quite a few foreign exchange students in the class), and interests.

Class starts and the quiz was just as easy as promised (the only question we had to answer was the name of the class). The person sitting next to me has somebody cover up the question as he took a picture of his score to put on Snapchat, causing a couple of us to laugh.

The teacher slowly takes roll, slightly thrown off by some of the new seating choices made by students. As he wraps up roll taking, the class officially begins.

September 7, 2016 1 Comment

Story With A Good Lead

W.H.O. Clarifies Advice on Sex and Pregnancy in Zika Regions

Lead: “The World Health Organization on Tuesday clarified — once again — its advice on sexual transmission of the Zika virus, saying that couples living in areas where it is circulating should be offered contraception and counseling to help decide whether to become pregnant.”

I believe that this story has a solid lead because it elaborates on the World Health Organization’s advice on how to prevent sexual transmission of the Zika virus without being too wordy. Also, this article hints at the W.H.O. releasing new information by saying it “clarified — once again — its advice on sexual transmission of the Zika virus.” The promise of new information could hook readers and cause them to stay and read more of the article.

Source

September 7, 2016 Leave a Comment

News Comment #2

Mexicans Accuse President of ‘Historic Error’ in Welcoming Donald Trump

President Enrique Peña Nieto recently set up a meeting with Donald Trump, a decision that outraged the vast majority of citizens of Mexico. As well known historian Enrique Krauze said, “It’s a historic error. You confront tyrants. You don’t appease them.” After Trump’s assertions of building a wall that Mexico will pay for and statements that Mexico isn’t sending their best when it comes to immigrants (likening most Mexican immigrants to thieves and rapists), it is easy to see why citizens are reacting with hostility. The meeting between Peña and Trump is made all the more dumbfounding after Peña has likened Trump to Hitler and Mussolini in the past.

This meeting was called to order “in the interest of democracy” and was used to “create a dialogue”. Even though many people view this meeting as a way for Peña to appease a tyrant, people such as Rafael Fernández de Castro (a professor at Syracuse University and former foreign policy adviser) have a different take on it. As Castro said, “At the end of the day, this is the Republican candidate. The U.S. electorate put him in this position, and Peña is respecting that.” It is important that Peña respect both presidential candidates because eventually one of them will hold the title as president. In order to keep Mexico’s relationship with the U.S. in tact, Peña must work with and remain cordial both of these candidates, even if doing so causes backlash from citizens. As the article wisely stated, “foreign policy cannot always be guided by public opinion, no matter the political consequences.”
The government ultimately declared the meeting to be a success.

I believe that the president of Mexico has been put in a very difficult position. Peña is faced with a U.S. candidate that likens Mexico’s citizens to thieves and rapists, a politician that nobody in Mexico respects, but feels the need to reach out to this candidate to secure a healthy relationship between Mexico and the U.S. By creating this meeting, Peña is risking the respect of his country’s citizens. It is must be incredibly tough for him to decide what is best for his country when he has his citizens looking down upon him (not only for this event but for other domestic problems) and a potentially dangerous president looming on the horizon. It’s not a decision I would wish on anyone.

Source

August 31, 2016 1 Comment

News Comment #1

Trump Is Testing the Norms of Objectivity in Journalism

One of the main goals all journalists should have is to remain objective. Objectivity is achieved by putting all personal biases aside and only reporting the facts when writing. To me, I believe that this is the only way to ethically report news and should be considered “the norm”, even though creating an article free of all personal opinions can be a very hard goal to achieve. If journalists were able to create content loaded with bias, it would be hard to tell what’s fact and what’s embellishment. If a journalist feels as if they need to report on their own opinion, it is only fair that they report on the other side of the story and talk about the opinions of the opposing side. Objectivity matters to me personally for two reasons. One, because professors look for objectivity in papers. Two, because I want information that isn’t slanted when I read news articles.

The article we read this week is titled Trump Is Testing the Norms of Objectivity in Journalism. This article discussed how the coverage of Donald Trump in the news is not adhering to the normal standards of objectivity. Many journalists find it hard to stay objective when reporting on Trump since he’s viewed as an unreliable and possibly dangerous candidate. As Scarborough, host of the show “Morning Joe”, said in regards to reporting on Trump, “How balanced do you have to be when one side is just irrational?” Due to comments like this, supporters of Trump believe that he is being bullied in the world of media. Washing Post managing editor Cameron Barr responded to such backlash by saying, “When controversy is being stoked, it’s our obligation to report that. If one candidate is doing that more aggressively and consistently than the other, that is an imbalance for sure. It’s not one that we create, it’s one that the candidate is creating.” I support Barr’s statement because I don’t think that journalists are failing at being objective when they report on one candidate more than another, but simply reporting more on what is considered newsworthy.

I believe that issues such as Trump’s so called bad media coverage are hard to overcome. It appears as if journalists are constantly harassing Trump since he hasn’t received good press, but it’s also an issue of Trump constantly saying controversial things. Although it can be hard to please everyone, I believe that it is the duty of journalists to continue to report on issues as objectively as possible.

Source

August 28, 2016 Leave a Comment