Or which is worse?

The fact that my body is running on two hours of sleep right now and i feel like i can take on the world full charge again and that my body has probably done this before that why it is so used to this feeling that’s why i feel okay but mentally i know that i am drained and dead and just really want to sleep but yet here i am ready to go

OR

The fact that yesterday i spent 12 hours straight, minus the 15 minutes inbetween walking from my house to campus, on homework and not multiple homework assignments but one. I worked on one assignment worth 40 points in hopes of getting full credit. I always get low 30’s on this assignment and here i am hoping and doing my best for full credit.

Plus, that was not my only homework assignment. I also had a paper due, that i physically couldn’t finish because my body was beginning to give out on me and my brain was fried. I’ve never been a fried egg, but i felt like a fried egg.

This isn’t that bad because things can also be worse, but seriously why is this okay? students staying up until they are physically dead, just to finish up assignments.

Being a student is so hard and i really don’t know what to do about it besides having to keep on keeping on. It’s just one of those things that’ll pass but i can’t imagine what this will be like for future generations.

I think I found my new jam, Drown by Bring Me The Horizon.

No, but really this is confessions of being student leader of the month for September.

Cool award. Its nice being recognized, but i never asked for this award. I don’t think i did anything to deserve it, but apparently the people in ODK believe that i should get it. Considering i won by a landslide with 27 votes.

I don’t know how i won or what i did, but this title is mine, for the month.

Immediately though, its not congrats its: “How’d you get that?” or “You’re in ODK?” or “Whats with your picture on the board?”

Of course i’ve been nothing but polite and human to these questions. Even to tell them that i am drunk as fuck in that picture.

Lol i’m your student leader of the month and here is my drunk picture from MayTerm!

Here are my honest answers though: “I don’t fucking know.” and “No, I’m fucking not. I’m not even smart enough to be in ALD. Plus you can’t even get the award if you are in ODK.” and “I’m the student leader of the month for September. If you weren’t so jealous, you’d have read that.”

Besides the negativity, I honestly probably got one congrats, but that may not even be true. I do know though that i got more questions about the award then i did a good job.

You don’t know me and i don’t know you. You don’t know why i do the things i do and you don’t need to know the reasons why. I’ll be more then glad to share them with you, if you ask.

Lets be honest though. You really don’t care. Why do you care about whatever anyone has to say? Why do you care what i have to say?

I have haters, i know i do. We all do. You’re a fool if you think everyone likes you, because someone secretly hates you. I don’t give a fuck about what other people think, but that doesn’t mean that i don’t have feelings.

All About That Bass by Meghan Trainor that song makes me feel like shit. Don’t get me wrong, i’m all about having a positive body image, but i’m not about taking someone down to feel better about myself. Anaconda i think is funny, but All About That Bass makes me feel like shit. Just because I’m skinny and ‘popular’ (which i don’t even think i am i’m an asshole and i dont even know how i have friends) doesn’t mean that i don’t have body or image issues. We all have our own demons.

Your not special because you think your the only one in the world with problems.

Having my picture on a public wall, i don’t care. My face is everywhere. The wonders of social media, but i figured we’d be a bit more grown up.

To whoever crossed out my face and stabbed it twice on the dot on my forehead and on my nose, thank you for pointing out the things i am already self-conscious about.

How were you supposed to know though? I’m skinny, so i’m not supposed to have body issues. I’m popular, but why do i talk i feel like i’m the only one who can hear me. I have money, doesn’t mean its mommy and daddy’s i work hard for the shit i have.
You get the point? No, you obviously don’t because you have to bring other people down to make yourself feel better.

Fucker.

Who would’ve thought. Diane Nguyen. Princess of MAC, has so many friends, perfect grades, a great home life, school is cake to her, skinny, doesn’t have to eat anything, has boys lined up for her.

There are so many things you don’t know about me and things i know you don’t care about. So, in the end i don’t care that you did that to my face. I’ve been brought down. I’m human and you are too. We all have our own problems and we’ve probably all hit rock bottom at one point of our lives. i just advise you, to think before you do something. No matter how hurt you are or how low you feel, you are never allowed nor is it ever okay for you to bring anyone down.

Ever.

That bullshit is not okay and if someone ever dies on your account i hope you feel guilty for the rest of your god-damn awful miserable life. Not saying i want someone to die, but if that was me and i had died from all the shit i’ve been getting in my life. I hope you think that its your fault and you can ask for tall the forgivness that you want, but just know that i don’t forgive you. You probably tell me to fuck off or go to hell right now, but news flash.

That’s incidentally where i came from.