This week and last week has been crazy for the residence life pro staff. Going through several different interviews, paperwork, and everything else they do on a daily basis…It’s been a rough time for them. This isn’t what this post is about though. This post is about me and how I think I’m guaranteed an RA position and the scary part is everyone knows that too.

I feel like people look at me differently knowing that group process day, the day where all interviewees come together for testing, is coming up. I’m nervous about it because i know i’m not guarenteed a spot, but everyone questions that. I mean…why wouldn’t i get a spot? I’m a campus leader, MAC exec, commuter assistant and past commuter rep, people know me on campus. I also work closely with Pro Staff…So, i feel people will only think i’m getting this job because i’m friends with them. I just hope that if they hire me for the job that i’ll be qualified enough for it.

I know i probably sound a little conceited, but this is honestly how i feel. Everyone knows i’m guaranteed a spot, but there’s the possibility i won’t get it, and that’s okay.

I think homes are weird because home is different to everyone.

I know that I should be grateful for things that I have and I am, but I’ve never known a home. Yet the idea of home are where your parents are, but that’s just what everyone has told me and what I’ve come to know.

Now that I have come to find a home though, I don’t want to let it go. I just want to be there. I want to go on random adventures with my roommates. I want to stay up late and worry about not being to wake up, because I was up all night listening to their problems. I want to continue feeling important and having my quiet cleaning time. Only because that’s what made me happy.

Coming to campus has been fun and I’m sure if I never lived with the boys and I had went straight to campus, I wouldn’t feel this way right now. I’m homesick and all I want to do is spend my time there, at home.

I never knew being loved by a family would be so nice.

I never knew a family until now and then I left. Talking and thinking about it makes me sad. I’m just worried about them…

On the brightside though! I get to go home this weekend and because of that fact, I think that’s the only thing helping me get through the week! <3

Last week all I did was cry and mope around and I didn’t want to go home because I was just there, but now. After a week, I’m going back because that’s where I want to be.

I’m homesick and all i want to do is go home.

I miss my boys.

I miss the way the boys came downstairs and quietly lived out their routine. I miss hearing the sound of Kyle make his protein shake in the morning. I miss hearing Dan frantically run over to the microwave to stop it from beeping. I miss sitting on my couch/bed and seeing Tyler come down the stairs at 2pm with a puppy dog pout on his face saying the same thing: “I slept in again.”

He always wakes up at 2pm. Just as Kyle is always downstairs at 5:45 am, he’s home at 4:30 pm. I honestly miss that life. It never bothered me at all and i wish i could go back.