Title: Neumann beats Wahoo in crosstown subdistrict clash, but big celebration put on ice: ‘My heart just sunk’
Lead: Win or lose on this night, Bishop Neumann was guaranteed a spot in Saturday’s district finals.
First off, this title is horrible! Yes, it did catch my eye and make me want to read more but it more caught my eye because I didn’t understand what they were trying to say. This lead is a good lead but I feel like it really isn’t what the story is focused on.
The story focused on the two volleyball teams in Wahoo and how they were cross-town rivals. One girl from the Wahoo Public team blew out her knee. Even though the two teams are rivals on the court, it talked about the off-the-court connections. It also talked about how they felt for her when she blew out her knee and how they went about it.
I feel as if the lead should talk more about what the title is talking about. This story does a great job of telling the story of the game but also playing on the scentemental aspects of the night.
Overall, a very well-written story. The title is confusing and the lead is boring for how nicely written it is.
(late) Newspaper heads have their own sort of shorthand. Punctuation means something different. This may be an example of a story playing up conflict as a news value. I don’t know the history, so it doesn’t work for me.
It’s also small-town journalism. Like broadcast, it attempts to speak directly to the reader.