Editorials

The Marriage Follies

By Claire DeRoin ~

While I’ve previously written about couples getting engaged far too early in their relationship, I’m also annoyed by something on the opposite end of the spectrum: couples that get engaged and announce that their wedding date is set- for three years in the future.

I understand that things can come up: family issues, deployments of servicemen, and health concerns. These are legitimate concerns that can postpone a wedding. If these things are going on, however, shouldn’t they be resolved before worrying about planning a wedding and starting a new life?

Perhaps I’m just a highly suspicious person, but the proposals that come during a rough patch in a relationship seem like a bandage or a “Get Out of Jail Free” card to hold over the relationship until that oh-so-distant wedding planning begins.

Let’s be real, though. Some couples are so on-again and off-again that these engagements can hardly be taken seriously. Okay, so there’s a diamond ring in the relationship now. That doesn’t mean that the fighting or cheating or whatever the issue is will disappear and the excruciatingly slow trip to the altar will be an easy one.

What if a couple doesn’t have issues, and have been dating steadily for a long amount of time? Are these couples trying to hide something by putting a symbol of commitment out there for all to see? It seems to me that couples that get engaged should be ready to take the plunge and tie the knot. If there are some doubts or fears, they should be hashed out during the dating phase of the relationship. Engagements shouldn’t be silly little flings that can be cancelled or done multiple times.

Either get engaged and get married, or just continue dating.

March 21, 2012

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