Broadcast Story: Bridegroom For a Night Flees After Shooting New Wife.
Posted on October 31, 2019 ·
That's all she wrote.
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OK. Don’t depend on the headline. Include a throwaway lead that gets the listeners’ attention. Follow it with the real lead (the one you have).
I like the way you introduce the speakers.
I would include her condition before going into the details. Just so people know she’s OK.
Don’t end with quotes. You conclude the story so that listeners know
it’s over.
Does this work?