In an article for The New York Times, written by Roni Caryn Rabin, specialists are suggesting that using bariatric surgery (a weight loss surgery many American undergo to lose/control their weight, especially people with Type 2 Diabetes) gives more positive out comes than just weight loss. A study on the JAMA medical journal shared its findings that the alternatives from this surgery is cutting significant risks of cardiovascular tragedies and premature deaths by almost half.
I liked how the title of this article was very informing but it didn’t have a great hook to catch more of my attention. The title was an exact replica of the article, informing you on what’s going on, not beating around the bush. The body paragraphs were organized well. As in, it began on what the title was about, what the study meant, who it affects, if it’s positive or if it’s negative, who supports it and who contradicts it. It gave great sources of its information on the study and showed the statistics of the cases. Overall I thought this was a good article, not a biased base one. The only thing it would need is a more flashier title to grab more reader’s attention.
Include a link to the article. I think I found it and it does need to work a bit on paragraph length.
The lead is a bit different. If you look at the first and second grafs, they’re working together to bring in readers.
Good observations.