First Draft…so far: Final Project

December 6th, 2011

When asked what they were doing after high school, most 17 year old high school boys wouldn’t say going to war. For Richard Rawson his future after high school was decided when he signed his papers for the army in 12th grade. Richard Rawson, called Richie by his friends, was a doe eyed, neive senior at North High School. He along with other students were enticed by the United States army’s recruiters at school. They were accompanied with t-shirts, backpacks, gift cards, and the idea that any boy or girl could be brave and fight for their country. Swept up by the “performance” and prizes Rawson signed the next 6 years of his life to the United States Army.

May 2010 was his deployment date, and he would be shipped off to Afghanistan. When the day came for him to say goodbye to his family and friends, pride and fear filled everyone’s mind, including Richie’s. (insert quote from Rawson) Before leaving for the death filled wasteland Rawson purchased one important item. A international cell phone. With this he could call home to his friends and family on a few occasions. He kept in touch with everyone, but the calls started coming less and less as the months went on.

After a year had passed Rawson was sent back to the states. He had finished his first tour of duty on May 18, 2011. He flew home on a military airplane to the airforce base in South Dakota. Awaiting his arrival were his parents Lawny and Tammy Rawson, his sister Jenny Rawson, brother Brad Rawson, and his close family friends Linda and Kelly Conolly. (insert quote from family) Back in Sioux City his friends and other family members were waiting for him. The night of his return there was a huge family feast. (insert quote Rawson)

Rawson didn’t act the same. Those close to him thought that maybe it was just jet lag and trying to adjust to his surroundings. However, this was not the case.

 


2 Responses to “First Draft…so far: Final Project”

  1. Claire Elyse on December 6, 2011 8:34 pm

    I hope you add more. I want to know more about why he didn’t act the same. This will be pretty good once you get quotes in there!

  2. fuglsang on December 7, 2011 10:07 pm

    “Enticed” sounds negative, like he was misled. Is that what you meant?

    Consider one of the “alternative” leads we discussed last month. A contrast lead. A scene setting lead. An anecdote might be especially good. One that shows how he is now “different.”

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