first draft

Shane Hennen

Feature Paper




Living the Dream?

Jeff Wagenaar is living the dream, according to his friends anyway. Jeff’s best friends consist of four college basketball players with very time-consuming schedules.  Everyday Jeff has to listen to his friends complain about how bad their lives are, when in Jeff’s reality it is the other way around. It seems that Jeff and his friends have different perceptions on “the good life”, but they want Jeff’s free schedule while Jeff wants his friends activity filled lives.

Jeff Wagenaar’s basketball buddies look at his schedule and think “man, I wish I was that guy.” Tanner Miller said, “When I think of Jeff’s daily schedule, I think of paradise.” The main reason why these guys think his life is paradise because they see a life of free choices and no limitations. Kyle Nikkel said, “When I wake up the first thing I think of is practice and it basically ruins my whole day.” Jeff’s four friends love the game of basketball and would never want to give up that lifestyle, but having Jeff around makes them envy his life. Tanner Miller also said, “I couldn’t imagine not being apart of the team, but I would love to be in Jeff’s shoes for a few days.

A normal day in the life of Jeff Wagenaar consists of waking up, the choice of going to classes, and freedom. He does not have much responsibility, other than school, so this makes it an easy-going lifestyle. Jeff said, “after classes I pretty much do whatever I want,” he also said, “ If I want to play video games at three in the afternoon then I play them, if want to go grab a Big Mac from McDonald’s I go get one.” These are the free choices Jeff’s friends wish they could make in a day. The life of no restrictions where no body is telling you what to do is what Jeff’s friends envy the most.

Although Jeff’s friends think he is living a great life, he thinks the complete opposite. Jeff went from a life, as a jock in high school, to watching his best friends becomes the jocks in college. This transition was hard for Jeff. He looks at all his friends, and wishes he had their athletic ability to compete at the collegiate level.  Jeff said, “I’ll come back to the room at know that they are either at practice or a game and I’m stuck sitting here doing the same stuff that I always do.” It seems that being apart of a team and gaining new experiences and relationships is what Jeff would like to have. Jeff hears his friends complain about their rough lifestyles, but sometimes wishes he had something to compare it with. Jeff said, “I miss having a coach yelling at me for mistakes and constantly being sore after practice.”

It seems to be that both parties want a taste of each other’s lifestyles. The carefree, easy-going life always seems to catch the attention of Jeff’s friends. Sitting back watching his friends live the life he used to have seems like the hardest thing for Jeff to comprehend. No matter how hard one think’s their life is, there is always somebody that has it worse.


About Shane

I come from Ghent Minnesota. I love tuna casserole and enjoy playing video games. I made a sweet trampoline dunk video. There is the link
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2 Responses to first draft

  1. Mike Kessel says:

    There were a few grammar mistakes I saw while I read it. It does get a little repetitive at some points, but gets the point across your trying to make. If it was my paper I would probably use something to the effect of “The grass is always greener on the other side” somewhere.

  2. fuglsang says:

    I really like what you’re trying to do here, Shane, but it’s not coming through yet. You need to make Jeff more central, though you can still use the stuff about other’s envying his freedom. What you’re trying to come to terms with (I think) is freedom vs. responsibility. Seems to me Jeff wants more responsibility in his life. What does that mean? I don’t know.

    Begin with an anecdote. Him playing video games in the afternoon, but underneath he wishes he was doing something else. Then your lead: He’s kind of the average college student, but he wishes for something more. Why is he unhappy? What does he wish he was doing? Bring in the other sources, but you may want to include their ideas about their responsibility: to the team, to each other. How do they feel about that? Is it overwhelming?

    Good luck. I’m interested to see how this turns out.

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