Final Version of feature story

Shane Hennen

Feature Paper

Journalism

12/04/12

 

Living the Dream?

He is kind of your average student, but he wants more. Jeff Wagenaar is living the dream, according to his friends anyway. Jeff spends his afternoons playing video games, but underneath wishes he was doing something else.

Jeff’s best friends consist of four college basketball players with very time-consuming schedules.  Everyday Wagenaar has to listen to his friends complain about how bad their lives are, when in Jeff’s reality it is the other way around. It seems that Jeff and his friends have different perceptions on “the good life”, but they want his free schedule while he wants his friends activity filled lives.

Jeff Wagenaar’s basketball buddies look at his schedule and think, “man, I wish I was that guy.” Tanner Miller said, “When I think of Jeff’s daily schedule, I think of paradise.” The main reason why these guys think his life is paradise because they see a life of free choices and no limitations. Kyle Nikkel said, “When I wake up the first thing I think of is practice and it basically ruins my whole day.” Jeff’s four friends love the game of basketball and would never want to give up that lifestyle, but having Jeff around makes them envy his life. Tanner Miller also said, “I couldn’t imagine not being apart of the team, but I would love to be in Jeff’s shoes for a few days. Jeff’s friends have a big responsibility to their team and each other that becomes very overwhelming at times. His friends are feeling constant stress throughout their college life.

A normal day in the life of Jeff Wagenaar consists of waking up, the choice of going to classes, and freedom. He does not have much responsibility, other than school, so this makes it an easy-going lifestyle. Jeff said, “after classes I pretty much do whatever I want,” he also said, “ If I want to play video games at three in the afternoon then I play them, if want to go grab a Big Mac from McDonald’s I go get one.” These are the free choices Jeff’s friends wish they could make in a day. The life of no restrictions where no body is telling you what to do is what Jeff’s friends envy the most. Jeff has the life of a normal college student, but that is not enough for him.

Although Jeff’s friends think he is living a great life, he thinks the complete opposite. Jeff went from a life, as a jock in high school, to watching his best friends becomes the jocks in college. This transition was hard for Jeff. He looks at all his friends, and wishes he had their athletic ability to compete at the collegiate level.  Jeff said, “I’ll come back to the room at know that they are either at practice or a game and I’m stuck sitting here doing the same stuff that I always do.” It seems that being apart of a team and gaining new experiences and relationships is what Jeff would like to have. Jeff hears his friends complain about their rough lifestyles, but sometimes wishes he had something to compare it with. Jeff said, “I miss having a coach yelling at me for mistakes and constantly being sore after practice.”

Responsibility could be the cure to a boring life for Wagenaar. Jeff spends his days playing video games, but really wishes he had other obligations or commitments to handle. Jeff said, “I’m not complaining about my life but, sometimes I wish I could be committed to other things, like my friends.”  Molly Fischer said, “I know where Jeff is coming from, because when I don’t do anything I feel very lazy as well and wish I was doing more.”

Jeff is making progress by trying to be more productive with his free time. Jeff said, “When I know I do not have anything to do I try to get something done like, going to workout, cleaning my room, or getting homework done.” By being more active Jeff has seen an increase in his mood throughout the day. He does not feel so left out because he now has more responsibilities and goals to accomplish.

It seems to be that both parties want a taste of each other’s lifestyles. The carefree, easy-going life always seems to catch the attention of Jeff’s friends. Sitting back watching his friends live the life he used to have seems like the hardest thing for Jeff to comprehend. No matter how hard one think’s their life is, there is always somebody that has it worse.

About Shane

I come from Ghent Minnesota. I love tuna casserole and enjoy playing video games. I made a sweet trampoline dunk video. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P9Ag1E2Ym4Q. There is the link
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1 Response to Final Version of feature story

  1. fuglsang says:

    Revision improved this quite a bit, Shane, but it still has a way to go. The main issue is repetition. You repeat the main idea – that Jeff and his friends envy each other’s lives – more often than is necessary. At the beginning and in the middle somewhere (as a reminder) would likely be enough, because your quotes will also be supporting the overall message.

    Be aware of when you’re telling and when you’re showing. Use examples to make your point, and use quotes from your sources. You end up explaining what Jeff and the others are thinking; let them do it.

    Paragraphs. One idea to a paragraph. New paragraph when you change topics. Quotes are also their own graf.

    Keep challenging yourself with different styles of writing. Have a good break and see you next semester.

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