Nov
18
News Critique #12
November 18, 2011 | | 1 Comment
For my news critique, I read a press release from i-newswire.com like the ones we read in class. I found an poorly written one called, “RichSingleClub Provides Singles Dating With More Real, Beautiful, and Rich Members”. It had so many errors that I had to read each sentence over a few times to actually understand what it was trying to say.
This was the lead- RichSingleClub.com, the millionaires and celebrity dating website, launched a new campaign starting from October: the active member campaign. To me, this sentence would not draw me in, and does not give the pertinent information that should be included in the introduction of the press release.
The last sentence, Still single? Just want to meet some serious members for romance? This service should be one of your choices, should be in the opening instead of the closing if they want to draw people in.
Although this article had very poor grammar, the website did do a pretty good job with selling their “product”. They used examples and reasons why people should join their website, as opposed to saying that their website was the best.
http://www.i-newswire.com/richsingleclub-provides-singles/139648
Comments
1 Comment so far
Sounds like a scam to me, Sarah. When I see numerous grammar errors in a website I figure it’s put together by non-English speakers. The address at the bottom confirms that. My initial thought is this has something to do with introducing foreigners to Americans in hopes of gaining citizenship.