September, 2023

Target Financial Report Summary

Target CEO, Brian Cornell, points out the company’s increase in profits. He also ensures the continued growth for the future saying “The revenue gains we anticipate in the years ahead will be built on a base of nearly $110 billion, not the $78 billion that served as our starting mark in 2019.” Cornell says that the company is doing well and will continue to do well.

News Comment #5

https://www.phonearena.com/news/iPhone-15-Pro-Max-miserably-fails-durability-test_id150915

The new iPhone 15 Pro Max has come to store’s shelves and there are some bad reviews. Most notably the durability seems to be below par. Many tests are being conducted to test how fragile the phone is, and I can say, it is very fragile. Allegedly the phone is made of titanium while older iPhones were made of stainless steel. So it should be stronger, but this does not seem to be the case. I also think it’s really silly that this is the main iPhone to be marketed to not need a case, but this is the ONE phone that does.

What’s A Special Skill You Have?

A special skill Caleb has is that he is a wrestler. His main skill is throwing people up and dropping them down. I’m not going to pretend I know anything about wrestling but he showed me a couple videos and it was pretty hype. I asked him what was fun about it and he says “It’s a fun skill to have. If your buddy is talking dirty you can choke him out.” I know that sounds bad but it was meant to be funny.

Two Men Rob Local Store

Last night an armed robbery occurred at 450 Stanley Street. Barney Joseph, Jr., 43, the owner, was held at gunpoint by one robber while the other removed $382.65 from the register.

One of the desk sergeants says Joseph keeps a pistol under the counter but
decided not to use it. Joseph states that it felt unwise to use it.

Joseph’s father was also killed during a holdup at the same store, BJ’s Drug, almost 25 years ago. Joseph recalls the event stating, “Yes, Dad resisted, I guess. Anyway, they found him shot to death, his own gun in his hand, and a bullet in the store’s ceiling. I’d rather part with my money than my life.”

News Comment #4

DOLPHINS WERE SPOTTED IN THE BRONX RIVER, AND IT’S A GOOD THING https://www.mic.com/life/dolphins-bronx-river

Two dolphins were found swimming in the Bronx River. This means the water is clean enough for dolphins to want to swim in it. This is important because rivers and general waterways are overrun with trash and pollution.

Dolphins were also spotted swimming nearby in New York’s Whale Creek Tributary. We don’t know if they’re the same dolphins that also ventured into the Bronx River, but it does seem to be equally good news for the same reasons.

I think this is definitely a step in the right direction for having clear waterways and helping get rid of pollution.

Scavenger Hunt, 2 Strangers

During class today I went out and found 2 strangers. I interviewed each of them and I’ll tell you about them.

First up is Kristal Grigsby. She is in charge of “keeping track of Eppley.” She does the paper work the business office, she locks and unlocks doors, and listens to students complaints when they may arrive. She always tells people to look on the bright side whenever they are feeling down. I also saw this really cool music stand with a Morningside ‘M’ on the front.

Last but not least we have Ryan Kilmer. He is a Music Education major and a bit of a goofball. He likes to say jokes when conducting bands that “This is a sick chart.” He recommends Squid Game on Netflix in case anyone was wondering.

News Comment #3

DISNEY HAS ITS FIRST PLUS-SIZE PROTAGONIST — BUT IT’S BITTERSWEET https://www.mic.com/identity/disney-plus-size-character-reflect

Disney made another short film. And going along with Disney’s trend of diversity in their projects, we get our first plus-protagonist. This gist is that there is a dancer that is not happy being over weight. She looks mirror and learns to except herself image in the end.

I think this is more of Disney’s sludge that won’t stop flowing. The plot is unoriginal, uninspired, and down right lazy. I mean c’mon a fat person that doesn’t like themselves because they are fat? Give me a break. This little short film is nothing more than a quick easy cash grab and a way for Disney to pat themselves on the back.

“Zombie Ice” Raising Global Sea Levels, #1 Final

A new study in the journal Nature Climate Change warns that huge floating blocks of ice will inevitably melt. These sheets called “zombie ice,” found largely off the coast of Greenland, possess the potential to raise sea levels by as much as 10.6 inches by the end of this century.

But what is zombie ice?. “Zombie ice” refers to ice that is still attached to thicker glaciers, but is no longer receiving the snow it needs to replenish itself. Because it’s not getting the insulation of snow to protect or preserve it, the ice will inevitably “die” but that is a fancy term for melt. Hence, the name zombie ice. 

You’re probably wondering why zombie ice is worth worrying about: well, in short, it could overwhelm the world. According to new research, the melting ice sheets near Greenland are likely to raise global sea levels by more than 10 inches. That statistic is confirmed, it is locked in. But here’s the kicker: the worst-case scenario projects a global sea level rise of up to 30 inches.

This is significantly more than previous predictions saw coming. The 10 inches is about double the amount that the most recent Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change warned of when it projected between 2 to 5 inches of sea levels rising by 2100 due to the melting ice near Greenland. The projected 10-inch lift would push the baseline for ocean levels to the height typically achieved during high tides and storms. Basically, we’ll be sitting at the levels that normally lead to inland flooding — and we’ll be staring down more extreme weather and storms, likely to generate even more destruction to coastlines because of it.

The reason for this dramatic increase in the projected water levels rising is a new understanding of just how much ice is going to be lost in the coming years. The study found that about 3.3% of Greenland’s total ice volume is going to melt no matter what we do to cut back on our carbon emissions. That loss is locked in, meaning about 120 trillion tons of ice is doomed to disappear in the coming years.

The result of all the melted ice means a 10-inch water level rise by 2100, and that’s basically the best-case scenario. If humans fail to cut down on our carbon emissions, we could see three times that amount of rising sea levels. 

https://www.washingtonpost.com/kidspost/2022/08/31/zombie-ice-will-raise-sea-level/

https://www.pbs.org/newshour/science/melting-zombie-ice-from-greenland-will-raise-sea-level-by-10-inches-study-says 


https://www.theweathernetwork.com/en/news/climate/impacts/zombie-ice-from-greenland-could-cause-a-27-cm-rise-in-global-sea-levels

Jim Wensen’s Daughter Arrested for Drunk Driving

22 year old Cathy Wensen, daughter of Jim Wensen, arrested yesterday for driving under the invluence.

Cathy goes to Vanderbilt University and was this year’s homecoming queen. She also participates in cheerleading and is a straight-A student. Now this is the third time she’s been arrested in the last six months.

Major Curriculum Changes at BSU

A recent study showed that only 15% of students took a foreign language class and only 20% took a math course while attending BSU.

David French, the president at BSU, has announced new graduation requirements. Students entering in the Fall of 2023, must take 1 math, computer science, and foreign language course.

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