Jack Faith found himself lying down somewhere outside of Happy Jack, Arizona as a 1000- acre fire roared towards him. After trekking through 3 miles of dry land and 4 canyons, wearing an 80 pound rescue pack he almost collapsed. Jack said “I was just existing. That’s all I was doing.. I just watched the fire come right at me. My crew did everything to help me out. I probably would have burned if they weren’t there.” Jack needs a life of excitement. Following the pack isn’t for him.
Jack Faith was born to Jack and Geane Faith 25 years ago. He grew up east of Hinton with five other siblings. Jack was the youngest of six and as you may be able to tell he was named after his father. Jack Faith has dark shaggy hair, which almost seems to match the color of his deep brown eyes. A beard surrounds his now smiling mouth as his brother and his friend comment on Jack’s wild personality. Cody, Jack’s closest friend, describes Jack as “the most adrenaline junkiest person I know.” Cody goes on to say, “Jack is the type of guy who will do whatever, whenever he wants. He hates being a follower.” Jack’s brother, Greg, agrees and continues to say “Jack is the craziest person I know, who would voluntarily walk into a burning forest?”
Jack’s journey towards becoming a forest firefighter started three years earlier, when he went to school at Western Iowa Tech. While he was sitting in his Macro Economics class he realized he wasn’t where he wanted to be. He said, “It hit me at that moment that everyone was doing the same thing and I didn’t want to do that.” Jack’s love for the outdoors brought him to his next conclusion. So several months later Jack moved to Ames. He started taking classes at Iowa State for Forest Ecosystem Management. His classes revolved around the study of air, water, soil, and of course, trees.
Jack graduated from ISU on a Saturday. That Tuesday he moved to Happy Jack, Arizona to fight fire. Over the course of 3 years Jack’s crew was sent to fight fire in every state on the West side of the United States except for Washington. He said his six man crew would spend weeks, some times a month in one location. When Jack’s crew was responding to a wildfire, he was usually the chainsaw man. His crew also performed search and rescue for children or injured hikers. Jack recalled one night in Texas when 200 houses burned down in one night from a forest fire. He said, “By the time my crew got to the site, it was all black. There was only ash and partial structures of the houses remaining.”
Jack survived the 1000-acre fire without a scratch on him. His crew was able to protect him from the fire. However, it was at the point that Jack realized how much danger he was putting his crew in. After the fire season was over Jack returned to Iowa to live in Smithland with his brother Greg. He now works for Barkley and Faith construction. He enjoys construction work for the time being, but only time will tell where Jack ends up next.
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I liked your lead. I wasn’t sure where this story was going. Obviously there is more to add but one suggestion I have is to go right into a hot moment, a main point of the story to grab the reader’s attention after the figure out what’s going on. The way this starts, I feel a little bored after reading about his schooling. I want to know more about him fighting fires. I also want to see him. What does he look like? I think you’re off to a good start and there is a lot of potential with your story.
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well written for the most part.
there was one part that just needs re wording, it took me a few tries to understand what this sentence meant:
“One day while Jack was sitting in his Macro Economic class he looked to the left and to the right and realized that everyone in the class was doing the same thing”
Aside from that, keep it up! you might want to elaborate on his training as a firefighter as well as include another quote or two.
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The story about Jack is very interesting. I would really like to enjoy reading more about his experience fighting fire. What was his worst fire that he ever had to put out? Could you write this more like an anecdote of his stories? I think that Jack is a great story and it kept my interest.
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I really like the first paragraph. It really grabs my attention, especially the quote. However, I’d move on the the next paragraph and talk about his career as a firefighter. I didn’t know what you meant by “crew” until I learned he was a firefighter in the last paragraph. The lede makes me want to know what happened to him. Was he able to fully recover? Does he still have burn marks? Did he spend a long time in the hospital? Was he able to “get back on the horse” and keep firefighting? What does he do today?
The next few paragraphs give a lot of information, but they don’t really help me know who he really is. However, I really like the quote that “it hit me that everyone else was doing the same thing.” This gives the reader insight into his personality and the reader learns that he’s someone who likes to be different and to take risks.
I’m also intrigued by the night when 200 houses burned down. What caused that? Was it a wild fire? Were the firemen able to contain it? Was it scary for Jack? How did he feel?
He seems like a really interesting person. I love the pictures. -
Yes, a good anecdote to begin with. But you repeat yourself. (You do something similar with the quote Jescy mentions. Just say it once.) Focus the first anecdote so that it creates interest and drama. Then the lead: Jack needs a life of excitement. Following the pack isn’t for him. (Or something….)
And, as Paige says, the stuff about school can [maybe] be worked in a bit at a time, but the main course is fighting fires and what that’s like. Is he an adrenaline junkie? And what’s with all the moving around?
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On the revise Jack Faith: Jack sounds (and looks) interesting, but you needed more time interviewing and exploring his need for excitement. You’re relying on the fire story to convey his personality rather than digging deeper and making Jack think/explain.
Keep working on leads. You have an OK anecdote, but it doesn’t necessarily lead to the statement “Jack needs excitement.” Keep working on organization, Lauren. I think you have a handle on most aspects of reporting, you just need more practice at putting them together.
Keep challenging yourself with different styles of writing. See you next semester.
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