Jordan: As with the earlier shooting story, it seems like you’re maybe “playing” a news broadcaster. Just be yourself. Your voice will work for radio.
The first two stories need to be re-focused. The election story is about Iowa being a hotspot (I think), and less about who won. With the student-mom story, focus on “adjusting priorities. Work on the leads so the stories have a definite subject.
The Iowa/Neb story is the best on focus. Both quotes are kind of weak.
Don’t end with one of your live quotes. You should be the one that sends the broadcast out and gives it a clear ending. Croker.
November 25th, 2012 at 8:22 PM
Jordan: As with the earlier shooting story, it seems like you’re maybe “playing” a news broadcaster. Just be yourself. Your voice will work for radio.
The first two stories need to be re-focused. The election story is about Iowa being a hotspot (I think), and less about who won. With the student-mom story, focus on “adjusting priorities. Work on the leads so the stories have a definite subject.
The Iowa/Neb story is the best on focus. Both quotes are kind of weak.
Don’t end with one of your live quotes. You should be the one that sends the broadcast out and gives it a clear ending. Croker.
Four of three sources. 2:30.