the posts of a barely sane college student

Mall Story

An explosion at Mega City Mall has caused several injuries and two deaths. Investigation has been started to look into the reason why the explosion happened.

An explosion at Mega City Mall near Gunland caused injuries and two deaths. There is no clear reason why the explosion happened, but the electrical problems are being looked into as a reason. Sergeant Fuglsang stated that there is no evidence of terrorism.

Grace Russman, an eyewitness to the explosion, commented that she saw nothing weird before the explosion. “The store front blew out.” stated Russman, “I was lucky to be far from the explosion.”

The electricity in Mega City Mall has been an issue for some time. “We’ve noticed the electrical problems here for some time,” stated food court custodian, Big Mac.

Aaron Montanez, a Mega City electrician, was called in that day to fix the mall’s problem. He commented that he was notified that the electrical sensors were going off that day more than. usual.

Profile Article Final: Security guard serving smiles, stories, and protection.

The security office located in the library is not typically a popular spot with students during the day time, but during the night time is a different story. Students visit the security office when they want to have a break from studying to have a good laugh, a pop, or just to let off steam. The number of students always vary but one thing is for certain is the hospitality and stories from the always smiling Morningside College security guard, Jerry Meisner.

The stories that Meisner tells to students have a purpose, no matter what kind of story it is. His stories create bonds with the students to give him the opportunity to get to know him personally and earning their trust. “I like having the trust of a lot of the students that they know they can come to me if they need something.” Said Meisner, “I really enjoy the interaction with our students.”

Meisner’s stories and jokes are always wild and told in such a detail, that some people don’t always believe him. “They tell me they don’t believe my stories. And I have to tell you, all the stories that I tell are true” said Meisner about the disbelief on his stories.

Believing or not believing Meisner’s stories is up to the listener, but the laughter from the students is guaranteed with each story and joke. “He just cracks me up,” commented Courtney Klocke, a sophomore graphic design and advertising major, “He just comes around with the weirdest jokes and it’s hard not to laugh just because he has such a good sense of humor and he always uses his puns, so it just cracks you up.”

Throughout his career, Meisner has gained experience about self defense and protection with the added bonus of living through numerous good and bad situations. All of his life experiences have become the source material that he uses as stories and jokes to tell students.

Meisner hasn’t been working security or telling stories at Morningside for long. Previously coming from Western Iowa Tech where he spent 13 years as their security guard. Even before working security at the local colleges, Meisner served as protection for civilians at a variety of places like Unity Point Hospital and for the Woodbury County sheriffs department.

“Ever since, I think middle school, I was interested in law enforcement and I volunteered for a number of years as an explorer and then also as a deputy sheriff,” stated Meisner “But once I was hired full time, I didn’t like it [police work]. It wasn’t what I thought it would be.” Meisner would then start his security guard career at Gateway as their security supervisor.

While Meisner’s job is to ensure the safety of the Morningside students, his goal is to connect with the students and the stories are a step to get there. “That’s my goal, is to be there for people. To be one of those people that hey if you have something wrong or need a friend to talk to, Jerry is available. That’s who I want to be.”

Students have felt the connection with the security guard through his stories and his overall joyful attitude. “He makes my day every single time I see him.” Stated Nathan Hoogland, a senior mass communications major, “It doesn’t matter where or when, he just manages to do it.”


Press Release: Polar Bear Death

Midland Zoo morns the lost of oldest polar bear. The polar bear was found unresponsive in his enclosure early in the morning.

The polar bear, Homer, was the oldest of the Midland Zoo’s three polar bears. Sara N. Getty, Midland zookeeper, found Homer had passed away shortly after feeding him. “Homer was a very curious and playful polar bear and we will miss him terribly” commented Getty.

The zoo exhibit prides itself in keeping its polar in a safe environment and having a happy life. The bears are ambassadors for their wild relatives by educating the public about these threatened creatures.

Weekly News Comment: Nolite te Bastardes Carborundorum

The world of Gilead and women in red dresses is coming back to book shelves with Margaret Atwood announcing a prequel novel called The Testaments. This novel will take place 15 years before the events of The Handmaid’s Tale and has three different viewpoints. Atwood commented how she wanted to explore the world of Gilead a little bit more and was inspired by the current political/world situation. Despite the Hulu series based off her first book currently running, this prequel novel will have no influence from the show. Fans have been split with Atwood’s prequel announcement, some wanting her to leave the world she created alone.

Margaret Atwood announcing a prequel novel is what I call a pretty decent size newsworthy story. With the news that has been generated from The Handmaid’s Tale, like costuming as handmaids at protests or the sales of the novel skyrocketing upward after the 2016 election, there will more news created from what Atwood writes next. The reason why her writings are newsworthy is that the themes and situations that she writes for audiences can be seen in the real world by many readers. This story is worth writing about now because there will most likely be conflicts over The Testaments when released that a journalist can follow up on, either by sales or shown in protests.

It has a particular audience depending on which part you are reading. The beginning of the article is more directed for the fans of The Handmaid’s Tale by telling the details of what is known about The Testaments. The next part is for the people that are behind on what The Handmaid’s Tale is and what an impact it is making in the world. This part is the bulk of the article with this large backstory and political movement bit. The final part is for the audience that is wants to hear other opinions. This end part is really brief but will most likely become a bigger story when The Testaments release.

There was a line in the article that puzzled me. In the second part of the article, the writer wrote “There’s clearly an enormous appetite for feminist dystopian tales at the moment.” This sentence is followed up with the sales of The Handmaid’s Tale after the election and it returning to the New York Times best-seller list. For me, the sale of one novel is not really a clear appetite for feminist dystopians. The line feels like an assumption to me or relying that the readers are going to click the link to a lengthy article.


What I Read

Anecdote: Jerry and the College Creatures

Jerry Meisner’s office attracts all sorts of creatures of the night. These creatures are the Morningside college students that congregate to the library, all with varying reasons to be there and different majors. Jerry’s office becomes the break space for the college creatures for his jokes, stories, or a pop. My night in his office was a small viewing of the creatures that walk in.

I sat in his office after my class, discussing the new exciting things in life and was told stories that he made me promised never to repeat due to how inappropriate they are. Our conversation didn’t take long before a creature, Grant Turner, walked in. Jerry gave Grant a warm welcome and was quick to offer him a beverage. The conversation switched from his inappropriate story to what we were doing for Thanksgiving. Grant and I kept it pretty tame with our stories as Jerry told us how to easily piss off our spouse by dissing their cooking.

After Grant walked in, an entire flock of college creatures rushed in. This flock was made up of Maddie Pierson, Jesseca Ormond, and Aaron Montenez and his girlfriend. This added group brought an entire new energy and new level of extrovert to Jerry. Jerry was quick to introduce everyone to each other, offering a pop, and telling us stories about him trying cognac because some European duke had one every morning and how guacamole looks like the stuff in between your toes.

Jerry found a topic that he felt passionate to tell us about: eggnog. Jerry asked us all if we had tried eggnog, with most of us college creatures replying no. He was quick to tell us that the eggnog in the carton is complete garbage and the one in the glass bottle is the “orgasm of eggnog.” I asked him if he would bring some to try with his response telling us he wasn’t sure about the refrigerators because, “You gotta keep eggnog cold or it will hatch and become hatchnog!”

Our group conversation was abruptly interrupted and ended by the radio call for Jerry to lock up HPER. Us college creatures had to herd us out of the office while we were putting on our winter jackets. Jerry proceeding to turn his mittens into Muppet sounding puppets, chasing Jesseca with them and talking to all of us with them. He made sure all of us were getting to our location safely and made sure to tell us all good night.

This was a taste of Jerry’s office. Walking into his office is always for sure to bring a smile to your face with a laugh guaranteed. Jerry’s office almost always has someone in there, some fun being had, and a story being told.

About the Conversation

My conversation started early, too early for my brain running on five hours, to talk with Antidote 71 employees. Grace Russman and I showed up first to the meeting, followed up with Antidote 71 employee Skyler Bauer. Skyler came in with an iced coffee in one and certain laid back style about him. It might have been because of the flannel he wore which accented with perfectly styled hair.

I greeted Skyler and introduced myself with Grace doing the same after me. Grace noticed our grey sweaters, commenting, “I was going to be pissed if we wore the same thing.”

Weekly News Comment: Valar Morghulis

Game of Thrones, the popular HBO fantasy show, will be ending in April with an eight year run. The show has captured the minds of audiences with its political intrigue, epic battles and gore, dragons, and yes… nudity. The show’s final season will be six giant episodes wrapping all the plot points of where the story is so far. Promotions for this final season have started up recently with People magazine covers and the release of a video clip montage of past seasons with the hashtag #ForTheThrone.

Game of Thrones fans though will return to Westeros in a prequel show, which is currently in the works. This prequel is currently being written by George R.R. Martin, author of the Game of Thrones books, and Jane Goldman, known for Kingsman: The Secret Service. All that is known about the show is that it takes place a thousand years before the events of Game of Thrones and that Naomi Watts is signed on.

This is a newsworthy story because the show itself is super popular and the actors are all prominent people. Audiences have been watching the show for multiple seasons and consistent viewers, even stealing the episodes off the internet. The show itself spends over five million dollars per episode to bring audiences back. This is why the story, although short and basically a promotion of the show, is newsworthy.

The lead is very cut and dry. It tells you everything that you need to know, the show is ending. I wouldn’t that it excites people to read on or really makes people question. Overall if you just need the basic fact of what is happening to the show, that’s the lead for you.

I was kind of bored with this article and that might be because I am a big fan of the show. All of the facts of the show I already know besides the MetroCards graph, which I thought was unnecessary. This article is something they probably have to make with the simple facts with not a lot of flash.

What I Read

Photoshoot: Power to the Girls

Broadcast News Story

You’re listening to K-M-S-C with your five oh clock news with Abby Cook.

You might be consuming an ingredient that you are unaware of, plastic. A recent study looked for micro plastics within the human body.

Micro plastics are tiny pieces of plastic around the size of a grain of rice. The study found micro plastics in stool samples of each test subject. This means each subject consumed and digested plastic, which might cause concerns.

Aaron Bunker, physiology professor, commented concerns about micro plastics in humans. “If they are small enough to get into the G.I. tract and then out of the G.I. tract and into your bloodstream, that’s when you want to worry about the effects on the body.”

Bunker mentioned the study of micro plastics is still a new topic and being explored.

 Moving from science news to an area on campus with paintbrushes and clay. Morningside art faculty showed their talent by displaying their work at Eppley gallery.

The art faculty displayed artwork that compliments what they teach in the classroom. A wide range of work is on display, from ceramics to illustrative posters. The show went up early October with a reception later of the same month.

 Terri Mcgaffin, head of the art department, commented her thoughts about the show. “A lot of the show isn’t different in the kinds of work that we do as artists. I really like seeing artist work that I have seen for some time.” Mcgaffin went on to say that it’s exciting to see the faculty’s style evolve. The Morningside art faculty show will be ending on November ninth.

The start of November for many people is the start of not shaving for an entire month for charity. This is no different for Morningside’s Alpha Omicron Pi, who are promoting for their charity event for the Arthritis Foundation.

Alpha Omicron Pi, Morningside’s sorority, is bringing back their no shave November charity event for the Arthritis Foundation. The event has people nominated by others on campus to possibly shave their legs for charity. All of the nominated candidates must approve of the possibility of shaving off their leg hair. Only one of the nominated candidates will shave their legs, decided by the donations of the Morningside body.

Maggie Ganley, one of the event organizers, commented on how to get involved. “We will have a table set up outside the cafeteria in Olsen sporadically throughout November so people can donate money.” Ganley went on saying that there will be a sign posted to tell which candidate is leading.

On November twenty nineth, the winner will be announced and the candidate will have to shave their legs outside the cafeteria.

And that’s your five oh clock news with Abby Cook here on K-M-S-C, the student voice of Morningside College.

Profile: Ninja Sex Party


Gene Park writes a broad feature of the rock band, Ninja Sex Party. The feature is broad, covering topics like their beginning and how they became popular.

The story has the frame of the positive view of the band or the frame of let me introduce you this band. The details included are the broad ones that cover everything that a person needs to know about the band. The details that are left out is that Wecht is a dad and Avidan was once a heavy pot smoker.

The nut graph is probably the third graph since it tells you all that you need to know basically.

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