I read a page. Take a few notes. Scan the page again.

I read a page. Try to understand. Scan the page again.

I read a page. Take a few notes. Why the hell did I decide to take on a big research project during my senior year of college?

I flip the page. I might have chosen to tackle a research project because I wanted to challenge myself and see if graduate school was calling my name.

Was I getting a challenge? Hell yeah. Big time. The amount of academic readings, media discussions, and historical accounts was making by brain hurt. I practically needed a week in the Bahamas with an extra-large piña colada after getting through remix studies.

“I want the research itself to change my mind about something or teach me something new,” said Dr. Elizabeth Coody, who is working on three religious research projects currently. Kudos to that woman.

Dr. Coody understands the difficulty with humanities research, the type I am currently working on. She explained what sets humanities research apart is that you have to set parameters for yourself and understand those parameters entirely before you even begin. Fully understanding and establishing the parameters takes longer than a scientific research study according to Coody.

After fully developing parameters, the next step is to just to read a ton. “You read. You read a lot, sometimes uselessly,” explained Dr. Coody, “You read articles about things that are intriguing. You keep tabs on interesting topics. You follow people on Twitter that post interesting stuff. You just keep reading. You have to be swimming in that world.”

The final step is taking the parameters and all the readings that have been consumed and apply it to a text. Texts could be a movie, book, or music. Basically, anything dealing with pop culture.

I turn the page. I jot a few notes. I did not understand that page at all. Period.

My entire research was focused on semiotics and femme fatales. You know? The women in those old black and white films with seductive looks and hourglass figures? Yeah, those ladies.

I have been working on my research project since May. I made baby steps with it over the summer by reading two to three chapters out of media studies and film noir books I had been given. All of the work I had done culminated with me choosing the piece of media I would analyze before the school year started and meeting weekly with my faculty advisor.

I am still in the reading constantly phase, on the verge of making the jump into a twenty-page paper. The same pattern with research happens alongside writing the paper.

I take a few notes. I turn the page. Only three pages of progress since starting this chapter. Shit.

In my academic opinion, no one with a master’s degree or PhD seemed capable to make their point in words that anyone could understand. Being stuck on the same page of their paper seemed like a given when trying to learn more about their subject. Pages on pages that ooze big brain energy and their discovery in the field, but now some poor soul has to practically use the Rosetta Stone to understand it.

I slouch further into the squeaky armchair. Feelings of defeat return. Twenty minutes until two.

I constantly worry my subject won’t be good enough. Or If people even care. But I do see potential if I get the microscope of what I am researching clear enough. It makes me excited. 

Dr. Jessica LaPaglia, a psychology professor and seasoned researcher, explained what I am going through is called imposter syndrome. Imposter syndrome is when a person doubts their accomplishments or talents and fear they will be exposed as a fraud. LaPaglia said that the feelings I was having about my research was a common feeling for those in research.

Despite not feeling the most confident with my research, I think that that there is something worth pursuing with my subject.

“Two things: is it feasible? What I mean by that is there are plenty of studies I would enjoy doing but are just not feasible in time and resources,” explained Dr. LaPaglia “I also like to look at what previous research has been done and what is a hot topic right now. I think if it is something that is going to get people really interested. Something that people will want to learn about now that it might be worth pursuing.”

The words in the book start blurring. Wish I wasn’t always tired. I sip some of my lukewarm latte.

I am personally struggling communicating to others what my research topic is. They ask. I try to convey it.

Conveying it tends to sound like “oh, you know those female characters from those old black and white movies? Yeah, I am studying them and if the coding of them holding a gun still equates to penis envy.”

Explaining the topic doesn’t exactly roll off the tongue, even still after being in the topic five months. But I am getting clearer explaining it. It has just taken quite a few discussions and a dozen books about the subject of femme fatales, semiotics, and remix studies.

I flip the page. Crap. Eight minutes left. I still have no clue what to discuss.

Each scribbled note or decryption of media theories give me a better picture of what grad school looks like. Somehow, despite feeling inadequate or overwhelmed with information, I don’t mind the thought of doing this constantly in grad school.

As a senior, deciding my next step is the next big thing for me. It’s all people ever talk about around me it feels like anymore. These discussions tend to leave me in panic mode for several hours.

I have answers to the questions asking what I am thinking about doing after college. Graduate school is one of the possible options. A majority has the same reaction with the graduate school answer. Raised eyebrows and being slightly unsure how to respond.

There is a lot to consider with the graduate school path. Variables like which schools are the best and thinking about am I willing to put in the effort. Graduate school would ultimately lead to teaching at the college level, fulfilling the teacher’s curse my second-grade teacher gave me. 

I am collecting as much information on what graduate school would entail. Doing my research project alongside hearing professors’ stories is giving me perspective for now.

Dr. Coody explained her journey to grad school was due to her seeing biblical influences during her English capstone class. Her curiosity led her to graduate school, where she learned the vocabulary and methods of studies. It was the research she did in graduate school that allowed her to find her true passion that she wanted to do with her career.

Dr. LaPaglia said she knew her path would lead her to graduate school. Doing research during undergraduate school was just the piece she needed to propel her to her goal. Graduate school also opened her eyes to a deeper side of research and what she grew to love doing.

Hopefully working on this project helps bring me some clarity on what to do next.

Who knows what I’ll be doing after college. Maybe selling alpaca wool sweaters. Possibly becoming a professional spoon man. Even exotic dancing is still on the table.

I take a sip of my now cold latte. I flip the page.

No matter what happens with my future decisions or with the research, I am going to look back with a sense of pride and accomplishment. I will look at my mini senior paper as a mom does when she drops her baby off to kindergarten.

Sure, it might cause me to pull my hair out, curse a couple times, and stress cry a handful of moments, but it will be worth it. 

Finishing up my research will resemble what Dr. Coody expressed to me while holding a printed book version of her research. “I made this book! Look it has my name on the cover! It’s so exciting! My name is on the spine of a book! What a freaking thrill!” exclaimed Dr. Coody.

If I don’t have that type of energy when I finish it, I’ll be upset.

I flip the page. I jot down one more note. It is finally two.

My faculty advisor walks into the study space, plops into his chair, and immediately whips his computer open.

He clears his throat before speaking. “So, how are we feeling this week?”

Shit bro, I don’t even know the answer to that. 

“Better than last week,” I reply while closing the book.

Deborah Copaken Kogan’s memoir Shutterbabe tells the story of a woman navigating the world of war photojournalism and the journey of self-discovery. Kogan tells a brutally honest story of her career as a photojournalist that is highly enjoyable and shocking at the same time.

Kogan spent four brutal years, from 1988 to 1992, as a war photojournalist before becoming a writer. She covered everything from the war in Afghanistan to rhino poaching in Zimbabwe. Prior to covering wars, Kogan graduated from Harvard University during 1988 with a degree in photography along with an arts and letters degree.

Kogan came into a world of photojournalism that was still heavily invested in film and a male dominated career field, particularly when it came to war photography. She talks about how she has to navigate herself to be accepted into the photojournalism fraternity in order to build up her reputation. This has her going in alone to war zones, trusting of some shady characters, and the moments of poverty between photojournalism jobs.

She gives full detail of the gruesome and horrific scenes that she had to cover. Kogan gives a raw image of what she saw, her reactions, and the reactions of the people that were around her.

Some of the disturbing scenes she gives account from her own personal life. For example, during the first chapter, she gives an account of how she was raped after her college graduation. The account is something that she tells very blunt and the effect it had on her. 

Alongside the telling of her photojournalism career is the men that have an affect or reveal something about her. Three of these men are lovers, one a good Samaritan, her future husband, and her son. Each of these men do teach her about what she wants in life, her ethics, and about love.

I believe the purpose that Kogan wrote Shutterbabe was a combination of three reasons: to expose what it was like to war photojournalist, being a woman in a heavily male dominate profession, and her own coming of age story. 

Her writing painted a realistic picture of what happened in some of the locations that she was sent to photograph. It is hard for a reader to imagine some of the events or actions happening in the world. Due to photographs that she scatters within certain chapters and moments, it affirms that all Kogan describes as factual.

Kogan’s memoir reveals a lot of the sexual harassment, sexual assault, and the belittling that she experiences. It is startling to read where she would receive the blunt of the harassment was from men she worked alongside.

Kogan’s writing about herself early in her career to when she ended her photojournalism career is a definite progression in maturity and ideals. Readers get a sense that she gets smarter about how she approaches situations and thoughts about the world, particularly with starting a family. 

Shutterbabe is created from personal recollection of what happened during her photojournalism career for six chapters.  The entire book is through her observations and participation of what is happening in front of her and how she responds to the situations.

I believe that this personal observation and participation to write the memoir is to reveal the main three reasons for writing it. I also believe that it causes the audience to grow with Kogan and view her career as an audience within her head. Being an observer to her thoughts and what she does in situations makes it more personal, almost if you were in the room as well with the same emotions.

I personally enjoyed every page and sentence of Shutterbabe. Every chapter felt like a wax strip being ripped off, in that you weren’t entirely sure about what atrocity Kogan was going to face or have happen to her. Starting a chapter tended to start off slow but was done to show foreshadowing when you finished the chapter.

Her writing style really appealed to me with her sense of harden, truthful, and sarcastic approach. She does battle with being an unemotional photojournalist and being emotionally compromised to what she sees. Sometimes it is hard to imagine some of the events actually happening, but that is when her photography plays a role in the story.

I did occasionally question her journalistic integrity, mainly due to how she got photos of certain things through grocery bribery. This does conflict, in my opinion, with her ideal to report and cause social justice with her photography.

It does get a bit tiring to hear her sexual endeavors a majority of the chapters, but I do feel like they play a role within the narrative. I think the amount of times she talks about her lovers then calming down a bit towards the end signifies a change of attitude and goals she wants in life.

I do think also sharing her sex life is almost how she is being one of the guys by sharing it and that she is unapologetic in that she enjoys sex. 

Some of her talk about film and photography I feel like might fly over some people’s heads if they don’t do it themselves. I even feel like some of the struggles with using film was hard for me to grasp due to only being exposed to digital photography.

The final chapter I feel is a little off beat with the rest of the book but is key to show how she has changed. Reader can definitely tell there is an emotional change with Kogan on subjects and isn’t as reckless. 

Shutterbabe is a solid read to understand what happens with being a war photojournalist and being a woman in a ruthless male dominated profession. I recommend it to anyone who is in the photojournalist environment and anyone who enjoys a rough around the edges and sarcastic female character.

I give Shutterbabe a 8.5/10 rolls of film smuggled into countries.

Gus Dapperton’s sophomore album, Orca, is a soft melodic with occasional alternative rock flair album that doesn’t quite hit the punches.

Dapperton uses a mix of synths and classical instruments that combine into a ten-record soft pop album with a slight edge. Guitars, pianos, and synths are the instruments that shine with each song. Some of the beats and melodies on this album are easy to vibe to.

Dapperton’s voice is a strange, but pleasant, mix of alternative rock and pop artists sound to it. During Swan Song and Post Humorous, Dapperton shows his range that has a raspy element to it when he hits high notes. 

The song that shines on the album is Palms. The start of the song has a soft melodic guitar before a bass drum revealing itself with the beat, building up as it goes. It is definitely a track that you can easily groove to and sway with.

Orca does seem to drag due to some of the poorly executed beginnings to the songs. One that comes to mind is First Aid, which just a slow guitar melody paired with Dapperton’s mumble singing it. Due to these slow beginnings or sloppy executions, I tended to get bored with the track before it picked up.

Dapperton’s vocals also seem to get lost within some of the tracks. Some of this is due to him trying to pull off this moody alternative style mumble singing. The loud melodies themselves seem to choke his ability to sing and really don’t allow him to shine.

Gus Dapperton brings to the table a rough around the edges sound for a soft pop album. Audiences who might like a softer version of Hippo Campus or The Backseat Lovers might enjoy this album. It also might be worth a listen if you are into a more edgy pop/alternative album that is easy to chill to.

I enjoyed listening to it once or twice, but it wasn’t entirely my cup of tea. I would recommend giving at least a couple tracks a play.

Gus Dapperton’s Orca gets a 6/10 killer whales at a moody alternative pop coffee shop.

I read a page. Take a few notes. Scan the page again.

I read a page. Try to understand. Scan the page again.

I read a page. Take a few notes. Why the hell did I decide to take on a big research project during my senior year of college?

I flip the page. I might have chosen to tackle on a research project because of two reasons: I wanted to challenge myself and see if graduate school was calling my name.

Was I getting a challenge? Hell yeah. Big time. The amount of academic readings, media discussions, and historical accounts was making by brain hurt. I practically needed a week in the Bahamas with an extra-large piña colada after getting through remix studies.

“I want the research itself to change my mind about something or teach me something new,” said Dr. Coody, who is working on three religious research projects currently. Kudos to that woman.

Dr. Coody understands the difficulty with humanities research, the type I am currently working on. She explained what sets humanities research apart was that you have to set parameters for yourself and understand those parameters entirely before you even begin. Fully understanding and establishing the parameters takes longer than a scientific research study according to Coody.

After fully developing parameters, the next step is to just to read a ton. “You read. You read a lot and sometimes uselessly,” explained Dr. Coody “You read articles about things that are intriguing. You keep tabs on interesting topics. You follow people on twitter that post interesting stuff. You just keep reading. You have to be swimming in that world.”

The final step was taking the parameters and all the readings that have been consumed and apply it to a text. Texts could be a movie, book, or music. Basically, anything dealing with pop culture.

My entire research was focused on semiotics and femme fatales. You know? The ladies in those old black and white films with seductive looks and hourglass figures? Yeah, those ladies.

I have worked on my research project since May. I made baby steps with it over the summer by reading two to three chapters out of the media studies and film noir books I had been given. All of the work I had done culminated to me choosing my text before the school year started and meeting weekly with my faculty advisor.

I am still in the read constantly phase, on the verge of making the plunge in the deep end of a twenty-page paper. Still, understanding what academic types are saying takes quite a bit of time.

In my academic opinion, no one with a humanities PhD seemed capable to make their point in words that anyone could understand. Pages on pages that ooze PhD’s big brain energy and their discovery in the field, but now some poor soul has to practically use the Rosetta Stone to understand it.

I slouch further into the squeaky armchair. Twenty minutes until two.

I constantly doubt about how good my subject is. If people even care. But I do see potential if I get the microscope of what I am researching clear enough. It makes me excited. A bulldog type of stubbornness to find out what I can and contribute to the field of media studies. 

Dr. LaPaglia, a psychology professor and seasoned researcher, explained what I was going through was called imposter syndrome. Imposter syndrome is when a person doubts their accomplishments or talents and fear they will be exposed as a fraud. LaPaglia said that the feelings I was having about my research was a common feeling for those in research.

Despite having imposter syndrome feelings, I know that my topic fits in the criteria that makes it seem the effort of researching.

“Two things: is it feasible? What I mean by that is there are plenty of studies I would enjoy doing but are just not feasible in time and resources,” explained Dr. LaPaglia about if a topic is worth researching “I also like to look at what previous research has been done and what is a hot topic right now. I think if it is something that is going to get people really interested. Something that people will want to learn about now that it might be worth pursuing.”

I sip some of my lukewarm latte.

I am personally struggling communicating to others what my research topic is. They ask. I try to convey it.

Conveying it tends to sound like “oh, you know those female characters from those old black and white movies? Yeah, I am studying them and if the coding of them holding a gun still equates to penis vibes.”

Explaining the topic doesn’t exactly roll off the tongue, even still after being in the topic five months after establishing it. But I am getting clearer explaining it. It has just taken quite a few discussions and a dozen books about the subject of femme fatales, semiotics, and remix studies.

I flip the page. Crap. Eight minutes left.

Each scribbled note or deciphering of media theories give me a better picture of what grad school looks like. Somehow, despite feeling inadequate or overwhelmed with information, I don’t mind the thought of doing this constantly in grad school.

Dr. Coody explained her journey to grad school was due to her seeing biblical influences during her English capstone class. Her curiosity led her to graduate school, where she learned the vocabulary and methods of studies. It was the research she did in graduate school that allowed her to find her true passion that she wanted to do with her career.

Dr. LaPaglia said she already knew she wanted to go to graduate school. Doing research during undergraduate school was just the piece that she needed to propel her to her goal. Graduate school also opened her eyes to a deeper side of research and what she grew to love doing.

I am just curious if the research I was doing would help with what comes next question. 

Who knows what I’ll be doing after college. Maybe selling alpaca wool sweaters. Possibly becoming a professional spoon man. Even exotic dancing was still on the table.

I take a sip of my now cold latte. I flip the page.

No matter what happens with my future decisions or with the research, I am going to look back with a sense of pride and accomplishment. I will look at my mini dissertation as a mom does when she drops her baby off to kindergarten.

Sure, it might cause me to pull my hair out, curse a couple times, and stress cry a handful of moments, but it will be worth it. 

Finishing up my research will be like what Dr. Coody expressed to me while holding a printed book version of her research. “I made this book! Look it has my name on the cover! It’s so exciting! My name is on the spine of a book! What a freaking thrill!” exclaimed Dr. Coody.

If I don’t have that type of energy when I finish it, I’ll be upset.

I flip the page. I jot down one more note. It is finally two.

My faculty advisor walks into the study space, plops into his chair, and immediately whips his computer open.

He clears his throat before speaking. “So, how are we feeling this week?”

Shit bro, I don’t even know the answer to that. 

“Better than last week,” I reply while closing the book.

I believe in being a ray of sunshine. That super power that everyone manifests to do one little thing that brightens up someone’s cloudy day.

These little actions look like the person in front of you buying your coffee, a significant other bringing home flowers, or sending a friend a card. Small deeds with the intention to brighten the day or situation of others.

My parents showed me the value of finding ways to be a ray of sunshine growing up. They would hear about unfortunate situations or valleys that others were living in. Their response wasn’t ever just saying “sorry” or “that sucks” and leaving it at that but shedding some light during their rough patch.

My parents’ instinct of delivering some sunshine led them to bring casseroles to others, having a coffee, or helping fix things. All done in hopes of helping others.

I could always sense the difference my parents made with these little acts. Whenever a person saw them, they would always run up with a big grin on their face and deeply thank my parents. Sometimes these run-ins led to hugging sessions when they wrapped up, typically done by my mother due to her roots being from Texas.

My mom and dad never wanted anything in return. They were satisfied just seeing the smiles of others.

I had my first big ray of sunshine moment happen a few weeks before freshman year of college. 

A friend of mine was going to the University of Iowa to continue her education. Both of her parents were unable to make the drive all the way to Iowa City due to working intense full-time jobs to make ends meet. She was forced to purchase a bus ticket to go to her enrollment day by herself.

I knew she was nervous.

“Hey, I am outside your house. Can you come out for a minute?” I asked her over the phone. I sat in the passenger seat in my mom’s van with a gift bag sitting on my lap. I smiled as soon as I saw my friend walk out of her house up to the vehicle.

I quickly rolled down the window and handed the bag to her. She peered inside to see the travel snacks and coloring book within before looking up with tears in her eyes.

“I can’t believe you did this for me,” she quietly said, “You don’t know how much this means to me.” I got out of the van and embraced her tightly, feeling her tears soak into my t-shirt.

Everyone has their rough patches. Moments where it is hard to wake up and be excited for the day. It can take a toll on people with clouds of life dragging them down. Finding a way to make other’s bad circumstances better for a moment is what defines us as human beings. It’s our power to create a ray of sunshine for others. 

Warmups started with simple resistance band squats with partners holding the tension taut. Each volleyball player within the weight room had visible signs of the early morning underneath their eyes. Despite the early wake up time and walking to the weight room in the early morning darkness, each player counts on one another to show up and make the right decision. Especially with the threat of COVID.

“A typical practice day, we get in there, they take our temperature and then we wear masks in the locker room getting ready. You wear a mask everywhere,” explained Ashley Boer, a senior and a team captain on the Morningside women’s volleyball team. 

Before any Morningside athlete walks in to the weight room to complete their team lift, they are screened by strength and conditioning coach Aaron Jung. Athletes in the weight room are also required to wear masks for the entire duration of their lift.

Every athlete got into front squat position on their platforms, elbows flared out and feet shoulder width a part. Each had to complete multiple sets of five empty barbell front squats and Romanian deadlifts. Whenever their set was completed, partners stood off to the side to pinch their masks off their face for better air flow.

Ashley quickly went through her reps, placing her barbell on the platform to scramble and move plates onto it with her lifting partner. Players know how vital their time in the weight room is, especially with the talk Coach Jung gave them. Now was the time to improve to be better for the next game.

The team traveled to face Doane University for the first official game in early September, the first one they had in months. The women Mustangs made a push, going through five sets against the Tigers, but lost 3-2. They would return to their home court two days later to face their cross-town rival, Briar Cliff University.

“There was a ton of emotion,” said Ashley with a wide grin on her face, thinking back on that first game, “You’re excited, but you’re nervous since it was the first time playing since November. It was really fun! Obviously if you looked at the scores, our first game was five sets. We fought that whole day and it was just nice seeing that because we haven’t actually played against a team in a while. Seeing how we react in those situations was awesome to see again. I’m really happy how we played.”

The road back to the court was an experiment for players and coaches. Great Plains Athletic Conference (GPAC) announced they would return back to playing sports again, with their guidelines to battle COVID. Morningside went to work on figuring out their own plan to better their athletes and still protect them from COVID-19 exposure.

Coach Jung immediately had concerns coming into the year about how to manage his weight room during a pandemic. The first big issue Coach Jung had to face was scheduling, due to socially distancing the players within the small space. “How many sessions in a day am I going to do? I mean, football has over 160-150 kids. That’s a lot. That’s a lot of hours,” said Coach Jung.

The other issue Coach Jung faced was how to handle programming, or the workouts, of players. Within the time athletes work out, a lot of the equipment is being touched and social distance can’t be achieved.

Summer break allowed Jung to figure out his plan to keep athletes safe: shorten lifts to allow cleaning time, masks while lifting, and pre-lifting screening.

“These kids want to have a season. With that being said, they are going to do everything in their power to have one. Whether that be restricting from extracurriculars during the weekend, things like that,” said Coach Jung “We’re not dumb as coaches, we know what goes on in a college setting. Over half of us probably played in college, so we know what is expected. But it’s still going to happen. You can educate them and say hey, look if you want a season to happen, you want this to actually be a thing, then you have to do your part and help out as much as humanly possible.”

Ashley kept a good attitude with the direction and COVID guidelines that GPAC and Morningside put out. She felt lucky to still have a season since some schools had cancelled sports for the year due to COVID.

Practices for the team this year have them washing their hands after every drill. These practice breaks to wash their hands became known as BSWs: Break, Sanitize, and Water. The acronym started when head volleyball coach Jessica Squier was tired of writing the phrase during team meetings.

Coach Squier had one main concern coming into the season about what the guidelines would look like for the team. She was comfortable with the actions that Morningside was taking, like with wearing masks and sanitizing balls, but figuring out what the state and country guidelines was a bigger concern.

Watching how the Iowa high schools returned to sports over the summer became a guide for the head coach. “We watched high school softball and baseball in Iowa to see what happened if somebody were positive and what those protocols were going to be in the county,” explained Squier “That determined how we were going to attack preseason and our season with how we were going to handle things. I felt confident with just kind of watching what other counties were doing and what made our protocols safe.”

The head volleyball coach felt the best analogy to tell her players about handling COVID-19 was that of a being a defensive driver. “COVID is kind of like when you’re driving,” stated Coach Squier “You can take care of you. You can wear your seatbelt. You can use your blinker and double check your blind spots, look either way when you’re crossing the road. But at the end of the day you could be the safest driver, but you can’t control the car that’s coming across.”  

The message of being defensive has been put into action with BSWs and a heightened awareness in social situations. Squier said that the same messages of accountability are being implemented this season as if the pandemic wasn’t a factor. The only thing that has changed is taking the measures to protect oneself. 

One of the measures that the NAIA is requiring sports to do is screening before games and practices, which then the data is reported to the NAIA. Morningside has also used the data to keep track of athletes and making it easier to do contact tracing. 

“We’re just making sure we’re on the same page safety, guideline wise and making safety decisions for ourselves,” explained Ashley, “But if [teammates] are feeling sick, they need to contact coach and tell us because we’re obviously together every day.”

Ashley and the rest of the seniors agreed that they needed to be calm and approachable for the underclassmen, especially to get through this season. Along with improving communication, knowing that teammates would be making smart choices was a quality everyone on the team held to high standard.

“Accountability is one of our number one things. Knowing, especially as a team captain, you can count on your teammates is one of the biggest things,” said Ashley, “Accountability reflects on the court as well off. It’s so important off the court, on the court, and in your career. Just knowing you can hold people accountable is one of the biggest factors to me.” 

Coach Squier made it known to players to hold each other accountable and making responsible decisions for themselves. An example of this would be talking to a professor if they need more social distance within the classroom setting.

Making smart choices while still having fun out of practice has also required sacrifices. Trust in teammates is vital especially during these times.

“It’s hard but that’s where the accountability and trust comes in. We’re not all together at times, which we get enough of that during the week, but just trusting they’re making those right decisions,” said Ashley “It’s like just the other day, we went to another team captain’s house and we just like sat around. It was still just us volleyball girls but just knowing the right decisions were made and where you’re actually going.” 

Kiki Bennett, an RA in Dimmitt Hall, has seen the decisions what people have made with their weekend. Her overall experience has been groups of people not following rules to prevent COVID.

“It’s different with different people. Technically in any of the lounges you’re supposed to be wearing a mask,” explained Kiki  “I’d say 80 percent of the people don’t, which is kind of frustrating, especially when I don’t think they realize that there are people with underlying health conditions that do live in the dorms. They think that oh we’re young, if we get it, no big deal.”

Kiki has seen within the dorms that athletes are sticking together and only hangout with each other.

“No one wants to be the reason why our team got shut down,” said Coach Jung about the heightened athlete accountability, “I think a lot of that has to deal, with not necessarily fear of, but fear they are the weakest link. They are the one that could destroy the whole thing.”

Barbells were quickly being racked after their last set. Every volleyball team member went to work spraying down everything in their area with disinfectants and wiping it down, ready for the next group to come in. The team quickly brought it in, raising their hands towards the center.

“Mustangs on three! Three! Two! One! Mustangs!”

“We’re definitely going to look back and be like wow what a crazy season. But just overall, taking care of each other, making sure our safety is the number one thing, having fun, and communicating with each other. If we can control our controllables, we’re going to make it far and know our goals we set for ourselves and knowing we can achieve them. I feel like we’re going to go very far and achieve those goals,” affirmed the volleyball captain.

Warmups started with simple resistance band squats with partners holding the tension taut. Each volleyball player within the weight room had visible signs of the early morning underneath their eyes. Despite the early wake up time and walking to the weight room in the early morning darkness, each player counts on one another to show up and make the right decision. Especially with the threat of COVID.

“A typical practice day, we get in there they take our temperature and then we wear masks in the locker room getting ready. You wear a mask everywhere,” explained Ashley Boer, a senior and team captain on the Morningside women’s volleyball team. 

Before any Morningside athlete walks in to the weight room to complete their team lift, they are required to be screened by strength and conditioning coach Aaron Jung. Athletes in the weight room are also required to wear their mask for the entire duration of their lift.

Barbells were held in the front squat position by each athlete. Each had to complete multiple sets of five empty barbell Romanian deadlifts and front squats. Whenever their set was completed, partners stood off to the side to pinch their masks off their face for better air flow.

Ashley quickly went through her reps, placing her barbell down on the platform to scramble and move plates onto it with her lifting partner. Players knew how vital their time in the weight room, especially with the talk Coach Jung gave them. Now was the time to improve to be better for the next game.

The team traveled to Crete, Nebraska to face Doane University for the first official game, the first one they had in months. The women Mustangs made a push, going through five sets, but falling in the last one. They would return to their home court two days later to face their cross-town rival.

“There was a ton of emotion,” said Ashley with wide grin on her face, thinking back on that first game, “You’re excited but you’re since it is the first time playing since November but it was really fun because obviously if you looked at the scores, our first game was five sets. We fought that whole day and it was just nice seeing that because we haven’t actually played against a team so just seeing how we react in those situations was awesome to see again. I’m really happy.”

The road back to the court was an experiment for both player and for the coaches. Great Plains Athletic Conference (GPAC) announced they would return back to playing sports again, with their guidelines to battle COVID. Morningside went to work on figuring out their own plan to better their athletes and still protecting them from COVID-19 exposure.

Coach Jung immediately had concerns coming into the year about how to manage his weight room during a pandemic. The first big issue Coach Jung had to face was scheduling, due to socially distancing the players within the small space. “How many sessions in a day am I going to do? I mean, football has over 160-150 kids. That’s a lot. That’s a lot of hours,” said Coach Jung.

The other issue that Coach Jung faced was how to handle programming, or the workouts, of players. Within the time athletes work out, a lot of the equipment is being touched and social distance can’t be achieved.

Summer break allowed Jung to figure out his plan to keep athletes safe: shorten lifts to allow cleaning time, masks while lifting, and pre-lifting screening.

“These kids want to have a season. With that being said, they will do everything in their power, so whether that be restricting from extracurriculars during the weekend and as much as possible,” said Coach Jung “We’re not dumb as coaches, we know what goes on in a college setting. Over half of us probably played in college, so we know what is expected. But it’s still going to happen, but you can educate them look if you want a season to happen, you want this to actually be a thing, then you help out as much as humanly possible.”

Ashley kept a good attitude with the direction and COVID guidelines that GPAC and Morningside put out. She felt lucky to still have a season since some schools had cancelled sports for the year due to COVID.

Practices for the team this year has them washing their hands after every drill and sanitizing the muscle rollers. The entire team has to be screened before practices and games as well, which get reported to NAIA.

“We’re just making sure we’re on the same page safety guideline wise and making safety decisions for ourselves,” explained Ashley “but if they’re feeling sick, they need to contact coach and tell us because then we’re obviously together every day”

Ashley and the rest of the seniors agreed that they needed to be calm and approachable for the underclassmen teammates, especially to get through this season. Along with improving communication, knowing that teammates would be making smart choices was a quality everyone on the team held to high standard.

“Accountability was one of our number one things and knowing, especially as a team captain, knowing you can count on your teammates is one of the biggest things,” said Ashley, “Accountability reflects on the court as well, it’s so important off the court on the court and in your career. Just knowing you can hold people accountable is one of the biggest factors to me. Just being able to hold people accountable is very important to me.” 

Head volleyball coach Jessica Squier made it known to players to hold each other accountable and making right decisions for themselves. An example of this would be talking to a professor if they need more social distance within the classroom setting.

Making smart choices while still having fun out of practice has also required sacrifices. Trust in teammates is vital especially during these times.

“It’s hard but that’s where the accountability and trust comes in because we’re not all together at times which we get enough of that during the week but just trusting them, they’re making those right decisions,” said Ashley “It’s like just the other day we went to another team captains house and we just like sat around. It was still just us volleyball girls but just knowing the right decisions were made and where you’re actually going.” 

Kiki Bennett, an RA in Dimmitt Hall, has seen the decisions what people have made with their weekend. Her overall experience has been groups of people not following rules to prevent COVID.

“It’s different with different people. Technically in any of like the lounges you’re supposed to be wearing a mask,” Explained Kiki  “I’d say 80% of the people don’t, which is kind of frustrating, especially when I don’t think they realize that there are people with like underlying health conditions that do live in the dorms. They think that oh like we’re young like if we get it it’s no big deal.”

Kiki has seen within the dorms that athletes are sticking together and only hangout with each other.

“No one wants to be the reason why our team got shut down,” said Coach Jung about the heighten athlete accountability, “I think a lot of that has to deal, with not necessarily fear of, but fear they are the weakest link. They are the one that could destroy the whole thing.”

Barbells were quickly being racked after their last set. Every volleyball team member went to work spraying down everything in their area with disinfectants and wiping it down, ready for the next group to come in. The team quickly brought it in, raising their hands towards the center.

“Mustangs on three! Three! Two! One! Mustangs”

“We’re definitely going look back and be like wow what a crazy season but just overall, taking care of each other, making sure our safety is the number one thing and having fun staying communication and if we can control our controllables, we’re gonna make it far and know our goals we set for ourselves and knowing we can achieve them. I feel like we’re gonna be very far and achieve those goals,” declared the volleyball captain.

Walking into the lobby hotel, seeing the remodeling tarps and knocked over wall, Katy Hackworth wished the talks about where to stay with her boyfriend sooner. Her three-day weekend in Kansas City was meant to be a good time but this hotel might sour that dream. 

Checking in had been a hurdle due to no concierge being at the front desk. The smell of the front lobby was the biggest flag for Katy about the sketchiness of their hotel.

The young couple had to trek up seven flights of stairs, before standing in front of the slightly cracked open door to their room. The room itself was filled with small signs that Katy had red flags about. The seal on the deal came with the fact that both televisions were on when they entered the room. Katy knew she needed to find a room somewhere else in the morning.

Your mission, should you choose to accept it, hand out some high-end fruit snacks to people. 

How hard could that be? Everyone on this campus seems to have a hollow leg and not to particular to free offers of food. Plus, these fruit snacks weren’t the stereotypical Scooby-Doo ones that you picked up from WalMart. These were the Auntie Anne’s organic fruit snacks, which means they probably do some good for your innards and might be more tempting. 

My plan was just to put a sign outside of the Collegian Reporter room and heckle anyone that passed by that I knew with the offer to take one. Once I set up my sign, all it took now was patience. I took my place in an armchair in the Collegian Reporter room to work on homework with torn open box of Auntie Anne’s organic gummies sitting nearby. 

Mari Pizzini walked into the room, with her heavy pack full of what English literature had been assigned to her. We exchanged some pleasantries before I aggressively offered a fruit snack. Her eyes widened with the sudden change of tone in my voice and the yellow box being shaken at her. 

“Well, I just came for the appreciation notes, but I suppose if you are offering,” she said. Mari proceeded to joke if the snacks were poisoned while cautiously reaching towards the box.

“No, they’re not,” I said. When she had her hand fully in the box, I shook and squeezed it suddenly. Mari gasped loudly, jumping back slightly, followed by loud laughter from the two of us.

Joan Mansfield peered into the room with a confused look to see why there was so much noise. I quickly lifted the box and offered her a fruit snack while Mari was still giggling. Joan’s eyes darted between the two of us and cautiously took a packet from the box.

Joan turned to leave, stopping just in the doorway. “Oh, I really like your sign by the way. It made me laugh,” she said with her smile being covered up by her mask.

After both Joan and Mari left, the mission proved a lot more difficult than expect. I tried getting others to take a fruit snack, but they turned the offer down. The reason why so many turned down offers is due to the dislike of the texture of fruit snacks.

“I tend to not like fruit snacks because of how slimy they tend to be,” said Kiki Bennett. I could see that she instantly regretted taking a pack from me. Her mouth immediately twisted into disgusted grimace when she chewed on one of Auntie Anne’s organic gummies.

COVID Normal: New Level of Sports Accountability

Pre-pandemic, sports accountability is tended to be thought of a combination of being there to put full effort into practice, into your reps, and being there to improve the team. There was a sense that you need to make smart choices, but COVID-19 has become a bigger push of individual and team accountability.

I want to tackle on what this new accountability is looking like in athletics. I am wanting to get a wide spectrum of where accountability is taking place.

First, I thought about the individual athlete, particularly a senior or captain. These are players that influence the team and have influence over the entire team. With COVID-19, it is vital to establish that actions have consequences and that it can especially effect the team.

Others I thought about interviewing was the strength coach (central figure that majority of Morningside sports know), Coach Ryan (keeping accountability with over 100+ athletes), an RA (get a sense of if people are being smart throughout the weekend), then possibly a nurse/doctor (see team accountability is really going to help prevent spread).

I know a lot of sports are already feeling the changes with COVID, with mask wearing spectators and coaches. But I do think there is a push to be smart with athletes due to the lost of sports seasons and national championships for some.