Amber Burg's Blog

You’re sitting on a cold hard rock at the bottom of a hole.  Even if you looked up, you would only get a glimpse of a ray of sunshine. That’s what rock bottom looks like. Dark, cold and hard.

Everyone always says “keep your chin up,” “time makes everything better,” or “it can’t get much worse.” Well, as much as no one wants to admit that those over used Hallmark card sayings are right, they are. Kind of.

It’s not just going to start showering rainbows of happiness down on you. You life isn’t going to become that Disney movie where Prince Charming comes riding out of the sunset on his white steed to save you. He’s not going to lift you out of your hole and throw you onto his horse and ride off together. Especially when your Prince seems to be the problem.

It’s the moment that everyone dreads in a relationship, the moment when the world stops spinning for you.

The text message that blinks across your phone stressing an urgent need to talk. So urgent that he’s driving to see you now. The same phone that will blink across another message saying “we should break up.” The feeling of your heart sinking into quick sand.  The pounding sound your feet made across the tile floor as you ran to the parking lot prepared to fight. You were the doctor getting ready to glove up to resurrect what was left of this beating relationship and not just call time of death.

It happens to everyone, it’s not just you. In a contest of worst breakup stories, everyone is going to think theirs was the worst. On the upside, everyone will have advice of how they got over it and on with their life.

Steve Burg, a father, says, “It’s going to hurt. It’ll be like a roller coaster. You’ll think your over it and then you’ll hit a low point again.”

Life’s full of ups and downs but how do you start the climb back up the dark brown clay soil to the glimpse of sunlight?

“Kate Nutzman says one of the most difficult things to do is packing up the collection of objects collected throughout the relationship into boxes. To help her coup with a breakup, she creates a playlist of breakup songs that give off a strong ‘I can do this’ vibe.

A variety of people binge eat sweet food while other go out with their friends and hit the town. Some pull tight on their family ties and use them as lifelines. Sometimes laying in bed is all a person will want to do. Others run until they are physically exhausted.

The best advice that a person once gave me is “Just do what you need to do to get back. Spend time working on you.”

Do whatever it is that helps you but you have to accept it and move on.

It’s a breakup, not the end of the world. Zombies aren’t raining from the sky. You’ll live. You will feel like you’re riding a hurricane and its throwing you every which way it can.  Take it from a person who has experienced this, the best thing you can do is learn from it.

Decide that it’s time to get your life back and live it. Recover and stand tall on your two feet and when you’re ready to throw yourself back into the pond to find another fish, don’t second guess yourself and think it all the way through.

This entry was posted on Sunday, October 5th, 2014 at 2:28 pm and is filed under Journalism. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.