Taylor Clemens Finds Balance

Posted in Uncategorized on December 11th, 2018 by Riley

Taylor Clemens strolls down the the steps of the Klinger-Neal Theatre. In comparison with his colleagues, Clemens is fairly new. He’s been at Morningside College for two and a half years. As of now, his experience pales compared to that of his predecessor. However, this goes unnoticed. He jaunts down the stairs with rhythm and purpose. He is the professor, and this is his theatre.

He was born in Elkader, Iowa. That’s northeast, just a few miles from the border of Wisconsin. It wasn’t until high school that he found Theatre. “There was a girl that I fancied, that was doing lighting,” Taylor remembers. One afternoon rehearsal, Theatre teacher “burst in to the lighting booth” and demanded he participate in the play. He became the stage manager. Then he was in The Jungle Book. His high school career culminated with the role of Conrad Birdie in Bye Bye Birdie. Then he graduated, and left the hobby behind.

“[Iowa State] has a pretty kickass Software Engineer program,” Taylor remembers about his initial college interests. “But after a couple months I realized it wasn’t something I wanted to do for the rest of my life.” He fell back in to Theatre after taking a Global Film class, which he will be teaching in the Spring of 2019 at Morningside. After his first semester, he realized he wanted to go back to making “kick ass art!”

He graduated Iowa State with two Bachelor’s Degrees, one in Acting and Directing, the other in Theatrical Production. Afterwards, he received his Master’s degree from the University of South Dakota. During his academic career, he got his first job in the industry at the school scene shop. It would spring board his interests beyond that of the acting and directing world. He became entirely infatuated with each aspect of a production.

Taylor Clemens looks exactly like you would expect him too. When we first met, his hair was long. Meeting today in his office, his hair pulls back in to a mini ponytail. He has a full beard that covers his face, with a mustache that seems to narrowly miss going into his mouth. If you were paying attention, you would notice that he has a uniform of a button-up long sleeved shirt, with the sleeves rolled up to the elbow. While most Professors concern themselves with slacks and dress shoes, Clemens wears work pants and work boots; a clear reminder that he is at all times Professor, Director, Scene Carpenter, and lighting designer.

With the knowledge of all these different occupations, Taylor could have made a name for himself in the professional world, but that’s not how his story goes. “This is where I want to be. I have a passion for teaching, and a passion for learning. I love school!” He smirks, “I might not totally be done with school, to be honest.”

“I had a friend that was directing The Glass Menageriehere [at Morningside],” Taylors looks back, “and she said ‘they’re looking for someone that does everything, and that’s you.’” He accepted the job at Morningside after hardly considering two other offers. “Well, I needed a job,” Taylor laughs. “There is something nice about having a steady paycheck. And I wanted to be somewhere that I could be a part of.” And, theoretically there is not much he can’t do at Morningside that the he can’t do in the private sector.

“Here, it’s really nice because I have more freedom than I would in the private sector,” Taylor considers. “In the private world, it’s all about money, where in the academic world, it’s all about the education of the students.” This works out well for Professor Clemens as he has an “odd taste” for plays. He prefers productions that are out of the box, as opposed to standard Broadway shows. “Here I can focus on that. I can find a balance for what will bring people in, and what will be a learning experience for the students. I don’t have to worry about money.” And though that seemed a blessing in 2016, not everything was as it seemed.

We’re meeting in Taylor’s office in Charles City Hall, Morningside’s oldest building. The bookcases are filled with play and musical scripts. It’s slightly darkened, possibly with age. And he sits behind a very large, two sided, desk. If he had a top coat and hat, he would be a very foreboding presence, sitting in his large chair, a sitting chair that has been rigged on to a wheeled platform. His corner office is quite large, one of the largest on campus. Of course, someone in his position, with so much to watch over, needs such a space to work and hold meetings. Though it is in stark contrast to what has happened to the Theatre Department as of late. We both look at each other and laugh. We know where the conversation is headed.

In 2016, budget constraints hit Morningside College. It was made obvious at the beginning of that school year that departments would be cut, and jobs would be lost.

“It was a feeling of ‘Well, I know who’s going first, the new professor straight out of grad school,’” Taylor now jokes. However, for his benefit, and the benefit of the school, that is not how the story would unfold. Betty Skewis-Arnett, the longtime tenured Theatre Department Head at Morningside, decided it was time to retire. With that decision, the school left Taylor Clemens as the sole faculty member to oversee the Theatre, with one catch. The Theatre Department would be cut and the incoming students would be added to the Performing Arts Major.

“It’s not anger,” Taylor reflects, “its more… disappointment. It’s what I’m passionate about.” He still believes that his Theatre program will continue. There will be plenty of students that love Theatre, some will even have a passion for it. What is most unfortunate is that, for the time being, there will not be a student that will be recruited to Morningside where their one and only dream is to be a part of the Theatre industry. “If you take Trifles [Morningside’s Spring 2018 production] you had students and faculty collaborating to make something really great that we can all be proud of. So that is what upsets me the most. That we will lose students with that passion. That this is their sole goal in life.”

Interestingly enough, Morningside President John Reynders has explicitly told Professor Clemens that he loves the Theatre program. When he started, Reynders did tell Taylor that he would like him to push the envelope. The timing, or more appropriately, the person, could not have been better.

“I enjoy darker, weirder, creepier, stuff,” Taylor states. So, when the school President asked him to come up with something edgier, Clemens was more than happy to comply. Combining that with his style of teaching, Taylor Clemens began to change the Theatre program.

Through his classes, he has exposed the the students to more “out of the box” material. Two Student Directors, Brock Bourek and Amy Jackson picked edgier material, Two Roomsand Octopus,respectively. Though, he did not push them in to these projects. They were both ideas that were brought to him. Now, however, is where Clemens has to separate himself from other professors. He must lead them to create a production that is almost entirely their own.

“I feel like these obscure plays have been influential because they teach you how to look at a topic in a different light, ” Two Rooms Student Director Brock Bourek. Two Rooms is a play written in1989, dealing with, the very real issue of terrorism, kidnapping, and love. Brock chose to interpret the play from a political viewpoint, much different from the comedic work done in his previous directorial effort Love Sex and the I.R.S. “I think it’s important to learn a different lesson from all types of Theatre. [Taylor] has taught me how to look at these things from a different perspective, and I think I’ve become a more well rounded person … a Jack of all Trades.”

“It comes down to what I feel the student needs,” Clemens explains. “They need to learn that there are consequences, and deadlines, and no one’s going to be there to hold their hand. Though they know they can always call me if they need me.” This philosophy of his pushes beyond that of the normal teacher. Clemens is getting his students ready for the real world.

“I would say his best quality is how much he wants his students to succeed,” explains Morningside Theatre Major Annalee Dorsey. “But what can irritate me most about him is how hard he is on me. That’s because he knows I can do well in my future career.” Dorsey is a Senior Theatre major, and one of the few passionate students that have found the industry to be what they really want to do in life. Clemens is somewhat of a “jack of all trades” himself. He understands every aspect of the stage, such is the job of the Stage Manager, this is where his passion began. Now, more often than not, Annalee is the stage manager for the Morningside productions. Many students will tell you that she “runs a pretty tight ship.” This is an active example of learning from a man whom she has called “a great mentor.”

“I can tell you that, Brock, was trying to emulate my directing style in Love, Sex, and the IRS,” Clemens reflects, “however, in Two Roomshe had adapted into his own style and it became a better Directorial effort.” When he says this, one must take note that Brock Bourek is one of the few truly passionate members of the Theatre program. They must remember, that this is the first time in his career as a teacher that Taylor Clemens is actively seeing his impact, and his style, emulated in one of his pupils.

“He was there to help me through ‘Love, Sex’,” Brock remembers. Brock Bourek is a Senior Theatre and Art Administration double major. Clemens began at Morningside in Brock’s Sophomore year. From the time betweenthe two plays, Clemens helped him “grow as a performer and as a Director.” By the time his Senior year came along, Brock was directing a deliberately deeper adaptation of Two Rooms, and what he had learned did not pass him by. “I feel like Two Rooms was my best accomplishment as a director.

Though both Brock and Annalee have grown exponentially in their respective fields under Clemens’ direction, not everything can be pleasant.

“I’m not here to be anybody’s friend,” Clemens states. “I’m here to teach you. And sometimes I need to be an asshole for that to happen.” There have been times over the past years where both Annalee and Brock have been at odds with their mentor. However, Clemens recognizes this as an inevitable of the profession. “There are going to be days where a student that I know likes me, is going to hate me. There is more than just the ‘professor/class’ attitude. There are a lot of emotions that go in to a show.”

Many times during our conversation, Taylor has mentioned, or alluded to the word “balance,” something he is still trying to find as a professor in his first full time teaching job. His biggest balance is finding his line between professor, mentor, and friend. At first, he laughs at the question, but as he falls deeper into thought, there is a long silence. “I think it is a blurry line between all of those,” he begins. “I’m still trying to figure that line out as a young professor, but it’s hard to classify the Production world by the black-and-white teacher relationship. But, I love all my students equally.” He smiles, “sometimes I don’t think I’ll ever need kids!”

“He is all three [professor, mentor, and friend] to me,” reflects Annalee. “He has been there to guide me through my academic career, as well as some troubles in my own life. Similarly, Brock believes this to true of Taylor, “One of his best qualities is that he will always sit and listen to what you have to say,  along with giving advice on career/life choices. I believe after I graduate, he and I will remain good friends.” As I sit putting these words together, Taylor is being approached by Brock. Brock’s friend, a fellow Theatre mainstay, is in trouble; possibly just unhappy. Without a second thought, Taylor jumps in to reach out and save the day – care for his students – as he has done so many times before.

When it all boils down to who Taylor Clemens really is, he is a Director. If he weren’t in the academic world, that is what he would be doing. He enjoys the collaboration, and he loves the innovation. In a way, he does that beyond the scope of productions. During Two Roomswe called him “The Wizard,” in reference to The Wizard of Oz. He fixes problems that we are having, and helps avoid issues we had yet to see.  In a way we are all his actors. He’s the man with all the answers, though in his own right, he is learning alongside us, much like a Director is the leader of his cast. And, much like a director strives to find the balance between comedy, drama, action, and romance, Taylor Clemens is finding his balance as a teacher. Though he happily lives as a Professor, a Mentor, and a Friend.

Profile Draft

Posted in Uncategorized on December 4th, 2018 by Riley

Taylor Clemens strolls down the stairs of the steps of the Klinger-Neal Theatre. In comparison with his colleagues, Clemens is fairly new. He’s been at Morningside College for two and a half years. As of now, his experience pales compared to that of his predecessor. However, this goes unnoticed. He jaunts down the stairs with rhythm and purpose. He is the professor, and this is his theatre.

He was born in Elkader, Iowa. That’s northeast, just a few miles from the border of Wisconsin. It wasn’t until high school that he found Theatre. “There was a girl that I fancied, that was doing lighting,” Taylor remembers. The Theatre teacher “burst in to the lighting booth” and demanded he participate in the play. He became the stage manager. Then he was in The Jungle Book. His high school career culminated with the role of Conrad Birdie in Bye Bye Birdie. Then he graduated, and left the hobby behind.

“[Iowa State] has a pretty kickass Software Engineer program,” Taylor remembers about his initial college interests. “But after a couple months I realized it wasn’t something I wanted to do for the rest of my life.” He fell back in to Theatre after taking a Global Film class, which he will be teaching in the Spring of 2019. After his first semester he wanted to go back to making “kick ass art!”

He graduated Iowa State with two Bachelor’s Degrees, one in Acting and Directing, the other in Theatrical Production. From here, he received his Master’s degree from the University of South Dakota. During his academic career, he got his first job in the industry at the school scene shop. It would would spring board his interests beyond that of the acting and directing world.

Taylor Clemens looks exactly like you would expect him too. When we first met, his hair was long. Meeting today in his office, his hair pulls back in to a mini ponytail. He also has a full beard that covers his face, with a mustache seems to narrowly miss going into his mouth. If you were paying attention, you would notice that he has a uniform of a button-up long sleeved shirt, with the sleeves rolled up to the elbow. While most Professors concern themselves with slacks and dress shoes, Clemens wears work pants and work boots; a clear reminder that he is at all times Professor, Director, Scene Carpenter, and lighting designer.

With the knowledge of all these different occupations, Taylor could have made a name for himself in the professional world, but that’s not how his story goes. “I have a passion for teaching, and a passion for learning. I love school!” He smirks, “I might not totally be done with school, to be honest.”

“I had a friend that was directing The Glass Menageriehere [at Morningside],” Taylors looks back, “and she said ‘they’re looking for someone that does everything, and that’s you.’” He accepted the job at Morningside after hardly considering two other offers. “Well, I needed a job,” Taylor laughs. “But, there is something nice about having a steady paycheck.” And, theoretically there is not much he can’t do at Morningside that the he can’t do in the private sector.

“Here, it’s really nice because I have more freedom than I would in the private sector,” Taylor considers. “In the private world, it’s all about world, where in the educational world, it’s all about the education of the students.” This works out well for Professor Clemens as he has an “odd taste” for plays. He prefers productions that are out of the box, as opposed to standard Broadway shows. “Here I can focus on that I don’t have to worry about money.” And, though that seemed a blessing in 2016, not everything was as it seemed.

We’re meeting in Taylor’s office in Charles City Hall, Morningside’s oldest building. The bookcases are filled with play and musical scripts. It’s slightly darkened, possibly with age. And he sits behind a very large, two sided, desk. If he had a top coat and hat, he would look like a very foreboding presence, sitting in his large chair. His corner office is quite large, one of the largest on campus. Of course, someone in his position, with so much to watch over, needs such a space to work, and hold meetings. Though it is in stark contrast to what has happened to the Theatre Department as of late. We both look at each other and laugh. We know where the conversation is headed.

In 2016, budget constraints hit Morningside College. It was made obvious at the beginning of the year that Departments would be cut, and jobs would be lost.

“It was a feeling of ‘Well, I know who’s going first, the new professor straight out of grad school,’” Taylor now jokes. However, for his benefit, and the benefit of the school. That is not how the story would unfold. Betty Skewis-Arnett, the longtime tenured Theatre Department Head at Morningside, decided it was time to retire. With that decision, the school left Taylor Clemens as the sole faculty member to oversee the Theatre, with one catch. The Theatre Department would be cut and the incoming students would be added to the Performing Arts Major.

“It’s not anger,” Taylor reflects, “its more… disappointment. It’s what I’m passionate about.” He still believes that his Theatre program will continue. There will be plenty of students that love Theatre, some will even have a passion for it. What is most unfortunate is that, for the time being, there will not be a student that will be recruited to Morningside where their one and only dream is to be a part of the Theatre industry. “If you take Trifles [Morningside’s Spring 2018 production] you had students and faculty collaborating to make something really great that we can all be proud of. So that is what upsets me the most. That we will lose students with that passion.”

Interestingly enough, Morningside President John Reynders has told explicitly told Professor Clemens that he loves the Theatre program. When he started, Reynders did tell Taylor that he would like him to push the envelope. The timing, or more appropriately, the person, could not have been better.

“I enjoy darker, weirder, creepier, stuff,” Taylor states. So, when the school President asked him to come up with something edgier, Clemens was more than happy to comply. Combining that with his style of teaching, Taylor Clemens began to change the Theatre program.

Two Student Directors, Brock Bourek and Amy Jackson picked edgier material, Two Roomsand Octopus,respectively. Through his classes, he has exposed the the students to more “out of the box” material. Though, he did not push them in to these projects. They were both ideas that were brought to him. Now, however, is where Clemens has to separate himself from other professors. He must lead them to create a production that is almost entirely their own.

“It comes down to what I feel the student needs,” Clemens explains. “They need to learn that there are consequences, and deadlines, and no ones going to be there to hold their hand. Though they know they can always call me if they need me.” This philosophy of his pushes beyond that of the normal teacher. Clemens is getting his students ready for the real world.

“I would say his best quality is how much he wants his students to succeed,” explains Morningside Theatre Major Annalee Dorsey. “But what can irritate me most about him is how hard he is on me. That’s because he knows I can do well in my future career.” Dorsey is a Senior Theatre major, and one of the few passionate students that have found the industry to be what they really want to do in life. More often than not, Annalee is the stage manager for the shows. Many students will tell you that she “runs a pretty tight ship.” This is an active example of learning from a man whom she has called “a great mentor.”

“I can tell you that, Brock, was trying to emulate my directing style in Love, Sex, and the IRS,” Clemens reflects, “however, in Two Roomshe had adapted into his own style and it became a better Directorial effort.” When he says this, one must take note that Brock Bourek is one of the few truly passionate members of the Theatre program. They must remember, that this is the first time in his career as a teacher that Taylor Clemens is actively seeing his impact, and his style emulated in one of his pupils.

Brock Bourek comments

“I’m not here to be anybody’s friend,” Clemens states. “I’m here to teach you. And sometimes I need to be an asshole for that to happen.” There have been times over the past years where even Annalee has been at odds with her mentor. However, Clemens recognizes this as an inevitable of the profession. “There are going to be days where a student that I know likes me, is going to hate me. There is more than just the ‘professor, class’ attitude. There are a lot of emotions that go in to a show.”

Many times during our conversation, Taylor has mentioned, or alluded to the word “balance,” something he is still trying to find as a professor in his first full time teaching job. His biggest balance is finding his line between professor, mentor, and friend. At first, he laughs at the question, but as he falls deeper into thought, there is a long silence. “I think it is a blurry line between all of those,” he begins. “I’m still trying to figure that line out as a young professor, but it’s hard to classify the Production world by the black and white teacher relationship. But, I love all my students equally.” He smiles, “sometimes I don’t think I’ll ever need kids!”

“He is all three [professor, mentor, and friend] to me,” reflects Annalee. “He has been there to guide me through my academic career, as well as some troubles in my own life. (Brock Bourek comments. Amy Jackson comments). As I sit putting these words together, Taylor is being approached by Brock. Brock’s friend, a fellow Theatre mainstay, is in trouble; possibly just unhappy. Without a second thought, Taylor jumps in to reach out and save the day. Care for his students. As he has done so many times before.

When it all boils down to who Taylor Clemens really is, he is a Director. If he weren’t in the academic world, that is what he would be doing. He enjoys the collaboration, and he loves the innovation. In a way, he does that beyond the scope of productions. During Two Roomswe called him “The Wizard,” in reference to The Wizard of Oz. In a way we are all his actors. He’s the man with all the answers, though in his own right, he is learning alongside us, much like a Director is the leader of his cast. And, much like a director strives to find the balance between comedy, drama, action, and romance, Taylor Clemens is finding his balance as a teacher. Though he happily lives as a Professor, a Mentor, and a Friend.

 

 

 

 

Unbelievable: I Know the End and Keep Reading

Posted in Uncategorized on November 29th, 2018 by Riley

Unbelievable: My Front-Row Seat to the Craziest Campaign in American History, is a book written by NBC journalist Katy Tur. Tur works for both NBC and MSNBC, and she spent the 2016 election cycle on the road with President Trump. The book is a recount of her time on the campaign and the unbelievable rise of Donald Trump.

It begins like all award winning books or movies have. Tur is at the Trump celebration on election night and watching as the supporters go from excitement to absolute jubilance. The title comes from the feeling of the rest of the world that was watching, and finding the realization of a President Trump, Unbelievable.Everyone except Tur found it unbelievable. With that prologue she explains that she called the election for Trump when all the analysts believed it to be an easy win for Hillary Clinton. The first chapter begins with Tur getting her first assignment in the Trump Campaign. She happened to be working in New York at the time, she was supposed to be a NBC Foreign Correspondent in England. From their she moves to the first time she met Trump. It is described as anger and intensity from the Presidential hopeful. Though we can all see that now, she was the first to actually realize Trump’s disdain for the media.

Trump’s disdain for the media, and his intense first meeting with Tur, sets up the story that follows. The book covers the excitement of Trump rallies, while Tur explains the fear that she felt as the candidate unintentionally put her in the crosshairs of his supporters. He called her “Little Katy.” Once again, like all the great stories, Tur jumps back and forth between different events and election day. Each chapter begins at one of the focal points of the campaign, say the debates or scandals (“Grab them by the pussy”). The chapter features points of view from the reporters hearing this for the first time, and the campaign staff members, often in scramble mode because of Trump’s latest antics. And then, as if it were a flashback, each chapter ends on election day, as the world gets closer to the unbelievable moment where Donald Trump is called to be the 45thPresident of the United States. And along the way, you will see how Katy predicted the ending of this unbelievable campaign.

Throughout the book, especially for those of us that watch NBC, you will run into the characters that you know and are familiar with. Some of those people include, Lester Holt, Andrea Mitchell, Chuck Todd, and a slew of other NBC/MSNBC correspondents. This is an interesting inclusion for the story, as it adds another layer to the narrative. Katy Tur is a very experienced, and award winning journalist. She had been with the NBC team for several years at the time and had covered several national stories, however she had no experience on how to deal with Donald Trump. Now, at the time, no one did, but the inclusion of Tur’s more experienced, politically savvy colleagues presented a more informed look at the campaign. Though they also served as key contributors in building up Tur’s self esteem when times were darkest.

The book is interesting enough, especially for a politically fascinated person such as I. While the rest of the world became sick of the Trump antics by November of 2016, I found it fascinating that this guy was actually doing it. Now, it was almost as if I was reliving those moments. Though, I will say, I was a little discouraged by some of the book. It was not a straight telling of the campaign. The book serves as a narrative for how Tur became a stronger person in the face of the adversity thrown at her by the Trump campaign. Though there are places where she stops to explain the hardships of being on the road, such as how experienced one gets at putting on makeup in the car. This stuff could’ve been left out, but it also made the story a little more personal.

I will say that this story serves a purpose. It is unlike any of dozens of books that have been released in the last two years, all explaining the rise of President Trump. Her book is a first hand account of the things that went on during the campaign, and her first hand view of the election, as the campaign unfolded. This now gives the story an interesting purpose, to show the world how it happened. These recent releases that focus on campaign can only look back with hindsight, and say “We should have seen this coming.” Tur’s book and point of view clearly state; “I saw this coming.”

Looking at the story from the narrative point of view, one might assume that Tur has a negative view of President Trump. You could not fault her for this, given the things she experienced during some interviews, and Trump Rallies. And, for a moment, this deters the book. It gives a sense that what she is reporting, or retelling, may be one sided. However, there is very little in this book that public did not already know, and there is nothing worse than what we already know. So, whether you are a Trump supporter or not, this book will not change your mind on the President. It does nothing more than serve it’s purpose.

There are some things that should be brought into question when reading this book. My biggest question is: how reliable is the information? Though it was written almost immediately following the election, one must wonder if Tur can precisely remember everything that she felt or experienced at the time. Or is she re-experiencing it with the benefit of hindsight? Once again, these questions didn’t deter me for too long, especially after I learned that Katy Tur would win the Walter Cronkite Award for Excellence in journalism in 2017; due in no small part for her work on the Trump campaign. In fact, I found it unbelievable how frequently I wanted to continue reading this book, considering I know how it ends. It is a compelling read, and fascinating for political aficionados. And journalists may learn a few new things as well. Overall Unbelievableis a compelling story that explains how the unbelievable actually came true.

The Happy Outsider

Posted in Uncategorized on November 20th, 2018 by Riley

Why is everyone cuddling? It’s late at night, you’re at a friend’s house, or you’re in the dorms, and you and you’re “other” are cuddling. You’re whispering sweet nothings to each other, while the other one giggles along. It’s cute, but it’s in the middle of the movie. In short, you’re pissing people off, and you probably have been for a long time.

They say College is the time for knowledge and exploration, and it’s where you will forge relationships that will last a lifetime. I feel as if I’ve done that, but some people have taken this to the extreme. They’ve fallen in love. Whippy for them. The rest of us, are just trying to get by.

Everyone has the right to be in love, don’t get me wrong, but why now? And why in front of everyone else? And, as fast as they are going, how could they actually be in love? Two of my friends exchanged “I love you” by the third date. The. Third. Date. Well, thanks for giving someone else a chance. To coincide with that, half of the RA’s on the Morningside Campus have fallen in love or gotten engaged within the last two years. Am I the only single person at the party?

The answer is no. In fact, I would believe that the grand majority of people are single, and if they are dating, they haven’t found their “soul mate” yet. We’re the real Silent Majority. We go about our days without needing to be surgically removed from someone. We go to class, we work, we shower, we eat, we sleep, repeat. We do not yet have the luxury of spilling all of our tiny inconveniences on someone that actually cares. We have all the things that bother us flowing through our brain at a million miles an hour, and anyone we spill this to, couldn’t actually care less, because they dealing with the same problems.

In the midst of it all, one can feel anger at the overabundance of love that surrounds us. But, angry as I am that all the good people are quickly taken before I even get my shot in (thanks again, buddy), I can’t help but be filled with happiness when I am around these people.

We could think of ourselves as the Silent Majority, the sad saps that love hasn’t seemed to find yet, or we could realize that we are the Lucky Few. We have friends that are in love. Surely our friends’ happiness should make us happy. And, there is the added benefit that we watched it all happen. It’s like a romantic comedy playing out right in front of us. We witnessed the “meet-cute,” all the adorable and emotional moments, and now, three years later, our closest friends are engaged. Now, if that isn’t enough for the average person, there is more just below the surface.

As we go on with our happy lives, we will most likely find that we are friends with a person. Very rarely will we run into situations where we like both people in a coupling. Husbands are friends with husbands, and wives are friends with wives. But, in College, we have the special ability of befriending both sides of the couple. We go to class with the boyfriend, and we go to class with the girlfriend. They are a part of the group. And before you know it, you care about strangers that are in love. Or, better yet, your two friends are strangers that fall in love. How amazing is that?

What makes this such an interesting dynamic is the gender politics that we must play. As we get older and our tempers decrease, or we get a better understanding for one another, gender politics becomes a virtual non issue. It’s a world of pros. But in College, it’s a messy business. It’s like Game of Thrones mixed with House of Cards, and I’m Chandler from Friends. Little do you know that there are benefits to being Chandler, the funny guy, or person outside the mess. For the “perfect couple” cannot stay perfect forever. No, everyone must fight. And, at first, there is an idea of betrayal. We can play the Game; we can live in the House. Now is the chance. We can steal our dream; she belongs with us anyway. Or, you hold the man you’ve pined for, these long years. It’s only clever tactic away. But, this idea disappears as quickly as it manifests. We realize that we don’t want the person, we want their friendship. But, now the “perfect couple,” our best friends, are fighting. So, the outsider goes to work, and we roll up our sleeves and dive in head first.

We offer perspective. Same genders understand each other. A man understands a man, and he can make him feel like he isn’t crazy. Like he still has friends in the world. We understand each other because we are men. Then, we go to the woman. She sits there in tears, or maybe stewing with anger boiling just below the surface. So, you sit down. You put your arm around her, and you give her the one thing that all her female friends can never give, perspective. You understand how men think. You know why your friend acted like such a dumbass. And you become the conduit for these two people loving each other once again.

The same applies for women. This is not a male thing. All people can understand each other. Sometimes, it just takes someone from the outside to look in and sort the mess out. And, while everyone else around us falls in love, we forge these friendships that will last a lifetime. We build both academic knowledge that will carry us to great careers and human understanding that will give us happier lives.

One day, we will find Mr./Mrs. Right. We’re just too busy keeping up with crowd to notice each other. And in the middle of all that, it can seem like the most infuriating thing in the world. Everyone smooching, and cuddling, and reciting Shakespeare (No, just the Theatre kids? Okay). It’s slightly gross, and it is obnoxious if we’re trying to listen to important plot points, but to stand back and look as an outsider, we become happy with others’ happiness.

This is we are the Lucky Few in the College world. Once we move in to the “real world.” The opportunity for this to happen occurs less and less. Not only do we have time on our hands, but we have friends on both ends of the relationship spectrum. But that time is quickly running out. So, we must take in all we can while we have the chance. All we must do is sit back and listen.

The Life and Times of Students Life with Time

Posted in Uncategorized on November 13th, 2018 by Riley

Albert Einstein once said time is irrelevant. Now, over 75 years later, I am beginning to question his credentials. For Einstein could not have gone to college if he believed this to be true, or maybe it’s that German colleges are set up different than American colleges. Either way, for the 21stCentury college student, time is very relevant.

The days are filled with class, work, and homework. However, homework is the only time in the students’ lives that does not have a designated time period. In fact, one may only be able to do homework when they are busy. Does that make sense? It may not, but that is how college life seems to work itself out. In this grand expanse of time, each portion of the day is scheduled out. However, the tasks become so close that eventually all 24 hours of the day are taken up. The only available time to work on said assignments is during the most menial of tasks.

Laundry is the easiest of these menial tasks. Put clothes in. Add soap. Wait one hour, and repeat. This is one task that allows time to complete others that would otherwise mess up the perfectly laid schedules. But laundry is only once a week at best. You can’t read and vacuum, nor can you commute and write a paper, and hopefully none have tried. To sum up, the college student is not only forced to deal with college issues, but the time consumed in menial, everyday tasks. The college life is simply time consuming.

Now, one generally wakes up between an hour or a half hour before class. If the latter is true, the average student does not allow themselves time to eat, which is most often the case. In the professional or “adult” world, people give themselves three times a day to eat. College students eat whatever they can in the time that their schedule has allowed.

The average class is one hour long, however, half the time, they can go up to 90 minutes. This is generally followed by another class ten minutes later. The student has the ability to pick and choose their classes as they wish, but the necessity for some classes is unavoidable, and the ability to make the college change the scheduled class time is nothing but a mere wish that only Freshman still have.

Now the ever growing amount of homework and class schedules cannot be blamed directly on the college. Though it is simpler to believe. The biggest problem lies in the need for balance. Professors have conflicting schedules that must be carefully ironed out. So, morning and afternoon classes are built not only on the Professor’s schedule, but also the need to balance certain classes in specific semesters. In all reality, that seems oddly fair, but one must realize that the Professors have graduated, and then returned to this Hell. The place after Purgatory, but before burnt out Christmas lights. This is where they’ve chosen to return, so can we shift some blame to them? Probably not, but I digress.

As we move on with the day, there is the realization that it’s noon, you just haven’t noticed because you’ve slept half the morning away, whether you’re in class or not. Now you may eat. But it can’t be that simple. Can it? In fact, it’s not. Clubs and organizations use this time to meet. If God is on your side, you have time to run to the cafeteria and grab food to go. In there you will most likely see the College President laughing the lunch hour away. What right does he have to be so relaxed? At least he tries to relate to his students. But if he isn’t losing half his meal while trying to shove the rest in his mouth before darting off to the next activity, will he ever relate?

As the average day progresses, afternoons get weird, and it seems this is where schedules begin to vary. As a member of the Mass Communications Department, I have personally viewed the KMSC DJ schedule. The schedule is picked over by the students as the only time that they are available. You probably aren’t surprised to learn the majority of DJ shifts happen in the afternoon. However, the 95% of student DJs do not take up more than one hour on the air. Because, who has the time?

While some are busy doing extra curriculars such as these, others are now moving forward with their afternoon classes. And, no college student wants to work in the morning, and very few do so during the week. So, in some cases, the remainder of the afternoon is spent working. Now, because Sioux City effectively closes down at 10:00 P.M, students will often work from late afternoon until 9:00 or 10:00 at night.

“I have both an on campus job and an off campus job,” says Morningside Senior Madison Schueth. “Most weeks I work ten hours or more, but this week I am working around twenty.”

This struggle is real for many Morningside students. What’s more deceiving is the work schedule itself. Living on campus, and hitting every red light, it could take as long as twenty minutes to get to the main shopping district of Sioux City. Now, combining the time it takes for a student to walk from their residence to their car could take five to ten minutes. This can be said from the movement from car to business. If we double this, as one does follow the same path home as they did earlier in the evening, we would get nearly an hour of time wasted in commute.

When they arrive at their homes or dorms, they are immediately confronted with the realization of homework. The college professor will usually demand twenty pages be read by the next class period. This isn’t unreasonable. However, twenty pages times four classes in two days equals ridiculous. Madison, for example, works on a Sunday night. She is also a double major in Psychology and Theatre. That being said, when she gets home, she is confronted with a mountain of homework. When we spoke on a Monday night, she had “legitimately, not slept” in nearly 36 hours.

The average student does not have these issues, however, many students are double majored, or have minors. This runs the possibility of having five, or God forbid, six, classes in a semester. There is also a high amount of students that are involved in sports. Sporting events and practices then take up two to four hours of the students’ day.

Now, the grand majority students are in clubs. This includes athletes, the simpletons with only a single major and minor, or emphasis, and the vast amount of students with double majors Even these people find time to be in two or three different campus organizations. Madison Schueth, is the Vice President of both Alpha Psi Omega and Alpha Omicron Pi. Others, have even more organizations to deal with.

“I spend five hours with one group, three and a half hours with another group, and another two hours for a third group,” comments Morningside Senior Brock Bourek. Brock is a double major in Theatre and Art Administration with a minor in Religious Studies. He participates in Alpha Si Omega, Phi Mu Alpha, Sinfonia, and College Choir. Not only is he a part of these groups, and a couple more, but he is an officer in nearly each organization. Did I mention that he works as well?  This is truly getting exhausting at this point.

When the student, unless you are like Madison, sleeps they must begin with a ritual. This is the time before you finally crawl into bed and close your eyes. This time is used to decompress from the day, for, if you do not, you may spend hours tossing and turning. Now, if you are one of those people who can fall asleep right when your head hits the pillow, please know that you are hated.

Finally, there is the weekend. But, wait… there’s more. Saturday is one of two days where the average college student has no classes to attend. However, this is the day of the weekend that the largest number of businesses are open. So, the chances are high that you will work this day away because you need to pay the college to take all of your time. Consider Madison and Brock in this category as well.

Saturday night is the night to make things happen. You can’t do homework now, not when you are at the only time in this God forsaken week that you don’t have to wake up before the sun. I’m not suggesting throwing party, though they could be fun, but one must do something out of the everyday world to keep their sanity. So, Saturday night is usually spent in front of a TV.

Finally, it is Sunday. This day is spent on homework, unless of course you have light classes or did your homework on Saturday night (Please note that you too, are hated). And so the day drifts by, under the stress of homework, or more likely, the anxiety of procrastination. Then, on Sunday night, you finally see your bed. Let all the stress drift away for eight more hours. First of course there is the terrible realization that you have no social life because of the time sucking vortex that is the college life. Then there is the overwhelming fear of what lies ahead.

Then there is calm. You realize that you do have friends and a social life, because they are just as exhausted as you. So, you can all be exhausted together. And of course there is the realization that this time consuming monstrosity will lead you to an, overall, happy and successful life. So, you begin to embrace the week to come, for it will be like the week that passed, which you finished with flying colors.

With the fear disappearing, you surrender to the sweet release of sleep. But before you finally nod off, you go over what tomorrow will be, and what you should wear to combat the ever-changing Iowa weather. And you open your eyes in the realization that you still need to do laundry. Fuck.

 

 

My America

Posted in Uncategorized on November 8th, 2018 by Riley

The American Flag stands in its consistent position of half mast.

The hardly touched plains of Nebraska.

The home of Capitalist America.

Culture Story Draft

Posted in Uncategorized on November 1st, 2018 by Riley

Albert Einstein once said that time is irrelevant. Now, over 75 years later, I am beginning to question his credentials. For Einstein could not have been a collegiate if he believed this to be true, or maybe it’s that German colleges are set up different than American colleges. Either way, for the 21stCentury college student, time is very relevant.

Our days are filled with class, work, and homework. Though, because we are not given a specific time for homework, it seems that the only time that I have to work on it, is when I’m busy. Does that make sense? It may not, but that is how college life seems to work itself out. In this grand expanse of time, we schedule each portion of the day. However, the tasks become so close that eventually all 24 hours of the day are taken up. The only time we have to work on some assignments is while we’re waiting for other tasks to near their completion.

Laundry is the easiest of the time consuming tasks. Put clothes in. Add soap. Wait one hour, and repeat. This is one task that allows us time to complete others that would otherwise mess up our perfectly laid schedules. But laundry is only once a week at best. You can’t read and vacuum, nor can you commute and write a paper, and hopefully none have tried. To sum up, the college student is not only forced to deal with college issues, but the time consumed in menial, everyday tasks. The college life is simply time consuming.

Now, one generally wakes up between an hour or a half hour before class. If the latter is true, the average student does not allow themselves time to eat, which is most often the case. In the professional or “adult” world, people give themselves three times a day to eat. College students eat whatever they can in the time that their schedule has allowed.

The average class is one hour long, however, half the time, they can go up to 90 minutes. This is generally followed by another class ten minutes later. The student has the ability to pick and choose their classes as they wish, but the necessity for some classes is unavoidable, and the ability to make the college change the scheduled class time is nothing but a mere wish that only Freshman still have.

Before you know it it’s noon, you just haven’t noticed because you’ve slept half the morning away, whether you’re in class or not. Now you may eat. But it can’t be that simple. Can it? In fact, it’s not. Clubs and organizations use this time to meet. If God is on your side, you have time to run to the cafeteria and grab food to go. In there you will most likely see the College President laughing the lunch hour away. What right does he have to be so relaxed? At least he tries to be one of us. But if he isn’t losing half his meal while trying to shove the rest in his mouth before darting off to the next activity, can he ever truly be one of us?

In my case, I have a radio show that takes up the one o’clock hour. I then must drive home and change before going to work at four. When I am done at eight, I must find time to eat. I’m lucky if the average day “ends” before 9:00 P.M. And even after it “ends” I still need to do homework. That’s two classes a day, both of which seem to think that theirs is the only class I must be taking, so I must have time to read twenty-five pages, and write a three-page essay (Three pages… yea, right!).

Following all this, I need to go to bed to be sharp for the next morning. But one must decompress before going to bed, otherwise they will toss and turn for hours on end. If this is not you, however, please know that you are hated.

I consider myself to be the “average” college student. But some of you may be thinking that I am blowing this out of proportion. You are wrong. I imagine the average college student has even more to deal with. Sometimes I feel like I am the only person at Morningside College that does not have a double major or a minor. I have a emphasis and a cluster, that should be enough for you people! But I digress.

Many other students are double majored, or do have minors. This runs the possibility of having five, or God forbid, six, classes in a semester. There is also a high amount of students that are involved in sports. Sporting events and practices then take up two to four hours of the students’ day.

Now, the grand majority students are in clubs. This includes athletes, the simpletons like me, with only a single major, and the vast amount of students with double majors and minors. Even these people find time to be in two or three different campus organizations. Some of these people, myself included, are even the leaders of groups. We are now forced to work our schedules around that of the rest of the people in the group. This is truly getting exhausting at this point.

Finally, there is the weekend. But, wait… there’s more. Saturday is one of two days where the average college student has no classes to attend. However, this is the day of the weekend that the largest number of businesses are open. So, the chances are high that you will work this day away because you need to pay the college to all your time.

Saturday night is the night to make things happen. You can’t do homework now, not when you are at the only time in this God forsaken week that you don’t have to wake up before the sun. I’m not suggesting party, though they could be fun, but one must do something out of the everyday world to keep their sanity. So, Saturday is usually spent in front of a TV.

Finally, it is Sunday. This day is spent on homework, unless of course you have light classes or did your homework on Saturday night (Please note that you too, are hated). And so the day drifts by, under the stress of homework, or more likely, the anxiety of procrastination. Then, on Sunday night, you finally see your bed. Let all the stress drift away for eight more hours. First of course there is the terrible realization that you have no social life because of the time sucking vortex that is the college life. Then there is the overwhelming fear about what lies ahead.

Then there is calm. You realize that you do have friends and a social life, they are just as exhausted as you. So, you can all be exhausted together. And of course there is the realization that this time consuming monstrosity will lead you to an, overall, happy and successful life. Then you begin to embrace the week to come, for it will be like the week that passed, which you finished with flying colors.With the fear disappearing, you surrender to the sweet release of sleep.

But before you finally nod off, you go over what tomorrow will be, and what you should wear to combat the ever-changing Iowa weather. And you open your eyes in the realization that you need to do laundry. Fuck.

My Morningside

Posted in Uncategorized on October 30th, 2018 by Riley

Students follow the lead of Professor on a cold Iowa morning.

Don’t Turn Away from ‘The Dark’

Posted in Uncategorized on October 16th, 2018 by Riley

I’ll Be Gone in the Dark is a very compelling book by Michelle McNamara. Told through real life stories from victims and their families, the novel, tell the stories of victims of the Golden State Killer, who robbed, raped and murdered over 120 families throughout California from the mid-1970’s through the 1980’s. We are now four months into the modern investigation where the suspected serial murder and rapist is behind bars. Looking back over the events of the past few years, many media pundits, as well as actual investigators, point to this book for reopening interest into the cold case.

The book begins well enough, with a normal man, Drew, whose usual life is forever changed by the death of his sister-in-law, Manuela. The story returns to the days and years before, exploring the lives of the family, Manuela being a introverted business woman who marries Drew’s quiet, older brother, David. There is discussion of their closeness, as well as the things that divide them. Then in intricate detail. McNamara unravels the tale of the night Manuela was murdered. How David found his way to being hospitalized just before night in question. And how all the changes in Manuela’s normal life, though some very small, still ended with the her being sexually assaulted, and then killed. Finally, Drew must grapple with the idea his sister-in-law may have been killed by her own husband, his brother. However, not much is put into this theory, as one crime scene investigator, Jim White, had seen this sort of scene once before. He knows that the mess that lays before him is the work of another man, who, in the future, will be known as The Golden State Killer. All of this, happening in the first ten pages.

McNamara begins each “chapter,” each attack, each story, the same way. Each begins with someone from the outside – a family member, friend, or neighbor – living out their normal lives, before falling upon the crime scene. Each story consists of interviews from survivors and those close to the victims. This weaves an intricate picture. The reader feels that these are real people, and in a few short pages, they may even become sympathetic with the subject of the story.

She tells details about the deeper personal lives of the victims, to make them human, as compared to statistics that one may see them as, had they been looking online. From there, the interviews dive deep enough to tell the colors of the wall and doors, and the daily routines that were horrifically disturbed. There is a true feeling of atmosphere to each situation. The reader feels as if they are in the home of one of the victims from the 1970’s or 80’s while having the knowledge of the impending doom, with no way to warn the subject.

Another piece of the process are the interviews with crime scene investigators and detectives. This is how McNamara puts together details from scene to scene. A lot of evidence can be found in the police report, but many little details, such as: footprint size, or the order in which actions are done, or even the objects taken and used as weapons – are discovered through interviews with actual investigators from the time. They are used as a common thread for the reader to follow from story to story.

It is with this thread that McNamara forms the structure of her novel. The events are not told in chronological order, as is the case with most novels of this type. They are told off of the back of some of the information discovered in the previous “chapter”. This creates the feeling of a detective, seeing what the author wants us to see, and identifying the little fallacies and intricacies of our criminal, that before went unnoticed.

McNamara’s goal is to act as a makeshift detective. She compiles evidence and interviews from dozens of victims, their families, and authorities to make the book as vivid as possible. But, this is also a hint as to what she actually trying to accomplish. Only by going through these police files and interviews, and with some careful examination, McNamara is able to she is able spot the consistencies between attacks. She went to police departments and crime scenes in multiple counties, each out of the others’ jurisdiction, to find connections that authorities of yesteryear never bothered follow up or examine. All of this, is done as a way for modern authorities, and avid readers, to understand the intricacies that were overlooked when this crime spree was first investigated.

Part Two consists of this careful examination. The stories have been filtered out to the common threads. The officers pursue the suspect. Each one is more likely than the last, but none are the suspect in question. However, as the story moves to Part Three, we are met with the realization that Michelle McNamara has passed away, herself. The victim of an accidental cocktail of prescription pills. The only piece of herself she truly leaves in the final third of the book is her “Letter to an Old Man,” pleading with him to finally show his face, and quit hiding behind his own doors and fences. The final section is summed by those that she worked closest with. This is the most analytical, or uninteresting part, as the stories have disappeared. These people are not writers, and seek only to triangulate the last possible suspect. They also leave questions open, in the hopes that someone tries to answer them, and complete the book that Michelle McNamara could not finish… which they have.

Whether or not Michelle McNamara revealed who The Golden State Killer was within her words, I won’t say. I will say, however, that this book is worth reading. The entire book is worth reading, if only to find out if the characters from the first section get their due justice. Speaking specifically of myself, this is the area that was the most fascinating to read, and it was worth the price of purchase alone. Although, many questions have been answered, and some may emerge in the coming months or years, I highly recommend finding this book online or on the shelves.

You’re Doing Great, Sweetie – Final

Posted in Uncategorized on October 16th, 2018 by Riley

Conquering a fear is one thing. Admitting you’re good at something, is another element entirely. History’s “great people” may have found a way to persevere alone, but maybe, like the rest of us, they relied on the people closest to them.

Mildly upset. My stomach was only mildly upset. However, I was going to the dark place in my mind. It’s that place that we all have, where we focus too hard on a particular aspect, and all the things that could go wrong suddenly go through your head. All the insecurities that once whispered, now seem to run, screaming, through your brain. As I have learned to do over the years, I locked them in a place inside, one sure to burst one day, several years down the line, but I digress. I opened my eyes, and lifted my head, and re-entered the safe zone.

This safe area was the security of the people around me. I wouldn’t have guessed it three weeks earlier, but these strangers were now my friends. It’s funny how that can happen after seeing each other every night for an entire month.

Two Rooms was the latest student produced play on the Morningside College campus. There was only one faculty advisor overseeing the production, and the writer was the only outside source. Everyone else – the director, the production team, and the actors – was a student at Morningside College. It created an “us against the world” mindset, as the young students prepared an intense play, almost entirely on our own merit, with only each other to rely on.

“There is something about that family aspect,” Theater Professor Taylor Clemens said. For each play that the college produces, Clemens is the director, and in charge of casting. However, in this production, Clemens only sits back and watches. “There is a relatively small casting pool on campus, so it’s usually the same people in each production. But, you’re always building each other up to succeed.”

Held on campus in the Leavitt Art Gallery, the space was chosen for a more intimate and intense setting for the audience. The only more intimate space in the building was the room behind the gallery, a broom closet for storing artwork. But in August of 2018, this room, with valuable pieces of art, would become the backstage area for the actors awaiting their time on the stage.

The walls around me were completely white and unappealing, a stark cry from the paintings that lay against them. I only believed this to be true. For three weeks we stared at the back of their frames because we were told not to touch them. I suppose that is a small price to pay for college students to be allowed to stage an entire play in an art gallery. Taylor Clemens told us the total worth was somewhere in the “millions.” I didn’t believe him.

That being the rule, however, the art was untouchable. It was stacked neatly against the wall, and all we had were metal folding chairs (once again, folding chairs in a room with million dollar paintings further pushed the “us against the world” feeling). As I began to hear the people filling in the seats outside, my mildly upset stomach became more uneasy. I seemed to be the only one. Everyone else was too busy with their own chaos.

“Five minutes to places,” Grady would say, relaying the message from Jason, the stage manager on the other end of the headset. “Thank you, places,” we would all respond. At least once a night, one of us would respond, “Fuck you, places!” This of course led to laughter – under our breath – as the audience was not allowed to know about the turmoil backstage.

Eric and Khiana, two of my fellow cast mates, would sit silently on their phones. Every once in a while Eric would hold in his own loud laughter, and Khiana would give a sarcastic smile toward the current jokester. There was always a jokester, which was necessary in the situation, as tension was always rising and falling. Some people will always try harder than others. Some people were going through this experience for the first time. Some people were hiding issues that had happened in their personal life. And some people were still getting over the “constructive criticism” from the night before. Finally, we had all come to the most nerve racking part of the entire production, opening night. Now, more than ever, it was important to have a jokester.

In the corner, Madison was shoving a beard on to Grant, cursing about how the hair refused to stay on his perfectly clean cut face. In itself, this was its own comic relief. Behind their chaos was a leather chair, one coveted by each of the cast members. Grady would say, it’s “the comfiest chair he had ever sat in.” He even contemplated taking it for himself, and I think he was only half joking. All this happened before we learned that the comfy leather chair was actually a piece of art, valued at $6,000! Now, Madison and Grant stood with makeup, fake hair, and glue, not two feet away from the “art.”

“You pretty much know everyone. So you can get people, within that small pool, that you know will work well together. So, as a director you foster that relationship, as much as you can,” Clemens commented. “However, if there are people that don’t get along…” He continues, sitting back in his chair with a smirk, “a director can use that to their advantage as well!”

Though I now counted them all as my friends, Madison had been my friend long before I was cast in Two Rooms. She, herself, had felt a lot of stress over the past month, having to pick the costumes for each character, as well as memorizing her own role. But there was no doubt that she was our leader. She had heard all our grievances, as well as Brock’s, who was our Director, as well as her fiancé. She did this while rarely losing her temper. “You’re doing great, Sweetie,” she would say to the cast. Although, sometimes as a sarcastic way to lighten the mood, she would also say it to keep our spirits up.

I remembered this vote of confidence as the lights went down. She admired her work on Grant before pulling her hair back into a pony tail and walking to the curtain. Through all the immense stress that she once had. I found myself comparing her nervousness from just a week earlier, to the stone cold focus on her face at this moment, and wished I could have the same.

As she left, the role of leader turned to Grady, who had removed his headset and got on his phone, though he always kept an ear on the stage, so as not to miss his cue. He always had an ability to lighten the mood, maybe it’s because his role was the smallest. His reactions to the comic banter backstage could make a joke ten times as funny, while the tension would drop by half.

It was at this moment that I began to realize the funny reactions that soothed me were from jokes that had made. In fact, most everyone laughed at my jokes, or general clumsiness, which was not always purposeful. The jokes arrived at their best when I noticed others to be under an intense amount of nervousness or stress.

I tried to be what I perceived a leader to be. Talk to people, but mostly listen. Most people don’t want solutions to their problems, they would just like you to listen to them. As the drama of other people’s lives, strangers at the time, was unfolding around me, I took in their problems. I listened and quickly forgot about them. Then, when the moment was right, I would direct myself towards them. Finally, through a misstep, or sly comment out the side of my mouth, I would get them to laugh. There always is a refreshing moment of calmness after a successful attempt at easing someone else’s stress.

For the entire month of August, stress mounted on nearly all of them as their other extra-curriculars began, along with the school year. My own stress had been minimal. I went to work, then showed up at night and did what I do best, act. As their friend, I knowingly, or unknowingly, was helping them ease themselves into this night from the moment tension rose on the first day of rehearsal. However, it was now I who needed calming.

“When you put these people together, and you create that family dynamic,” Clemens stated, “it creates a better production that the cast can ‘take ownership’ of.”

Checking on my props for my first scene, I felt as though an ocean was throwing my stomach up and down. However, I could not focus on this, as I was too distracted by my own heartbeat. I must have been breathing hard as well because Khiana, the quiet one, was now looking at me. “You’re gonna do fine,” she said, smiling. I was not aware of my obviously loud nervous habits, but before I could ask her how she knew I was systematically falling apart, I heard the lines leading up to my entrance.

As I headed for the curtain, I took one final look in the mirror. I didn’t want to move. I realized that I had never actually acted in front of an audience, no one that mattered anyway.

I had surrounded myself with film and acting for 21 years. I believed I was good at acting, but I started to wonder whether or not I was just good at reciting movie lines.

As I heard my cue, I was then overcome by a sense of duty, to finish what I started. This carried me through the curtain.

It was somewhere in the the middle of my entrance that I remembered that I was the only one without acting experience. This had been a source of worry from the beginning of rehearsals, but now, it was assuring. We had helped each other along for so long that I realized, those with experience would help me if I got on that stage and fell, figuratively… or literally. At the moment I had that realization, the lights were on me.

“You have to remember; this is an institution where we educate.” Clemens said to me in Morningside’s Klinger-Neal Theatre. “We hope that we can all learn something from each production, and carry it in to the next one. But, if you like the people around you, it will certainly make the experience easier.”

I couldn’t have known then that the fear would quell each night to a conquerable nervousness. I also couldn’t have guessed that I would be nominated for an Irene Ryan Acting Award. I would eventually realize that this was, in fact, something I was good at. What I did know then, however, was that it was the people surrounding me that helped me get up on the stage, as I hope I helped them through rehearsals. So, hold to what you’re good at. If you find yourself unsure of your abilities, ask the people around you for help. They should point you in the right direction. And, if you find yourself in the dark, and in need of focus, remember, “you’re doing great Sweetie.”