header image

Paper #1 Rough Draft

Posted by: Lindsay | September 7, 2012 | 2 Comments |

Lindsay Martin

Journalism

Paper #1

Habitué

The building stretches high above its neighbors. The brick offers a warm and inviting feeling.  The sign presents the unique logo, as it should match the rather interesting name. Habitué is a French word meaning a place one frequents often, which makes sense in regards to a coffee shop.

As you enter the cool air sends shivers down your spine. The interior is like nothing you have ever seen before. The decorations are impeccable, from the vintage ceiling tiles to the stone covered floor.  Scriptures spreading the word of god cover the brightly colored walls. Warm reds, greens, yellows, and browns engulf your vision. Christian music sets a joyful tone. The smell of blueberry crumble coffee lingers in the air.  The staff’s welcoming smile and greeting invites the customer to the granite counter. The case of goodies immediately draws your attention; especially the turtle brownies and cookies and cream cupcakes.

The time of day reflects directly upon the experience. The morning is filled with regulars hurrying in before work. The main floor is filled with groups of retired women huddling around a circular booth, gossiping about the latest news. The upstairs is quiet, with only a couple of people reading, or taking advantage of the wireless Internet. The employees prepare for the busy noon hour.  As noon approaches, the lunch line continues to grow reaching the entrance. “Raspberry Jalapeno Turkey Crepe” and “California Cobb Sandwich” seem to be the popular favorites among the costumers. There is not an open seat in the house; even the courtyard in the back appears full. Each employee has a specific position to maintain. Communication seems to be vital component to efficiency.  Into the afternoon and night, the hustle and bustle seems to die down, with only a few customers stopping in for a drink or treat after work. The employees use this time to prepare for the next day by restocking and making the store look spotless.

The main room appears first when entering the front door. Large booths with green fabric backs and brown leather seats cover the left and right sides of the wall.  A black oak double door leading into an additional room appears off to the right. A brick fire place decorated with greenery and green and silver spheres blazes in the center. A grand staircase situated in the corner indicates more seating available upstairs. As you continue through the building, a condiment isle positioned to the right is filled with creamer, sugar, wooden stir sticks, and water.  The counter and display case are off to the right. As you continue towards the back door, the green umbrellas from the patio furniture appear. As the door opens, the sound of water cascading onto the ground becomes obvious.

The additional room on the main floor is designed more for a younger demographic. Maroon leather chairs line the wall of windows, looking out at the Ice Cream Parlor across the street. An Internet bar is located in the center of the room, with large booths lining each wall. A fully equipped stage is situated along the left corner of the back wall. Here, musical groups perform, filling the room with praise.

The upstairs is equipped for a quieter setting. The sea colored blue room off to the right is rented out for events and meetings. A large flat screen television is mounted on the wall. Tables able to seat four are scattered throughout the room. The loft to the left is filled with the same tables. In each corner, red leather couches serve as the focal point.

Mike and Cheryl Wells own Habitué. The purpose was to bring more business to the downtown area. The building was gutted, and rebuilt from the ground up. However, the ornate ceiling tiles are the only item they decided to restore and keep. Cheryl wanted to create a welcoming environment, while sharing the lord’s word. Obviously, she has succeeded, as customers travel great lengths to endure in the experience.

under: Uncategorized

Responses -

First of all, Lindsay, consider going through and changing the “yous” to I, me or my. This is what you’re experiencing.

This is nicely done, piece, Lindsay. A good mix of subjective and objective.

A couple other things to consider: Use the first graf to establish a theme for the rest of the piece. You’re coming close with “unique” and “warm and inviting.” But if you can accent that feeling a bit more, it will set a tone for the rest of the article. You might also use some of what’s in the last graf — welcoming and spiritual — at the start as a way to frame what follows.

Add some dialogue. What kind of conversations take place? What do the waitresses sound like? The customers? How is the communication vital and efficient?

A very nice start.

This was pretty good. I have never really even heard about this place but I feel like I’ve been there after reading this. I do agree with Ross in that you should use more of the “warm and spiritual” in the beginning. It might’ve just been me but I really didn’t feel the religious side of it much. Over all, I think its pretty good.

Categories