Chase

Minerva’s

Inmate: Shannonfield, Chance R.

Inmate number: 0355453

Location: ~~Clarinda Pennitentary, Iowa~~ Mexico

Crime: ~~First degree murder~~ record is clean

I’m typing this, today, as my last blog and testament before my esc- I mean before by execution as a death row inmate in the state of Iowa. It’s here that I will log my final break- I mean my final meal on this Earth. For my last meal, I was taken to Minerva’s in Hamilton Blvd. in Sioux City.

The outside of the restaurant looks nice; there’s a quaint patio seating area for intimate meals with a date, and minimal security and close to a bus stop. The inside reminds me of a bistro, with plenty of seating and exits. Overall, it has a welcoming atmosphere, like you could sit at a fireplace and sip brandy. The staff are easy to recognize, as they dress in all black. You could easily slip past them, as they are generally preoccupied with excellent service to restaurant patrons. They even have a bar like you would see in one of those upscale places in Chicago, with a large selection of different drinks.

The waitress allowed us to order from an appetizer menu which is normally only available for dinners. I ordered the coconut shrimp. I also got a glass of peach lemonade, which was crisp and refreshing.

The shrimp came out on a platter flooded with soy and wasabi sauce. It would make for an excellent oil slick to leave the guards in your dust. The shrimp was nicely breaded. It was a little well done but not too crispy and wasn’t overpowered by coconut flavor. The wasabi really was an interesting contrast that cleared my sinuses and heightened my senses (which I’ll need shortly).

Coconut shrimp

There were two different lunch menus to choose from. The first was very small and had summer-themed dishes that included fresh fruit. The second was their house menu that had different sandwiches, pastas, and fish and beef entrees. I decided to choose from the summer menu, because it looked light but with just enough food to keep you alive on the run for a day or so. I went with the Maui Fish Tacos that had mahi-mahi, pineapple, cilantro, and lime.

The meal came out just in time. The restaurant became a little more busy and distracted the staff and guards. The tacos were not bad. The pineapple was a little overpowering but overall, the fish had good flavor and the spice blended well with the sweetness of the fruit. The tortilla shells, too, were cooked just right: not too crispy, not too rubbery. I was only able to eat one and got a to-go box for the other. The waitress is now flirting with the guards so I just slipped my fork down to my ankle cuffs and undid them. They didn’t notice when I asked if I could use the restroom. They really don’t notice me! I’m walking out the front door! I’m heading straight to the bus stop now. I’M FREE! I’VE ESCAPED! AHAHAHAHAHA! Next stop, Mexico!

May 31, 2013 Chase Leave a Comment

Bev’s on the River

Inmate: Derf, Fred J.

Inmate number: 2352-246

Location: Missouri State Prison

Crime: 16 counts murder.

I made a living (or a killing, you could say) prowling along the river at night before I ended up on death row. I wanted to go back to my roots for my last meal so I had lunch at Bev’s on the River in Sioux City. It’s a fancy little restaurant along the Missouri river that, according to reviews and friends, was the spot to eat for fine dining.

We rolled up to the restaurant and I felt like the Jeffersons, or better yet Will Smith in Fresh Prince: a street kid movin’ on up to fine dining (well, moving as far up as you can when you’re a convicted murderer). I dressed real fancy with some slacks and a nice button up. I felt like a thousand bucks, or a carton of smokes, which is also very valuable when you’re in prison.

The restaurant itself was very tastefully structured. There was a lot of room for seating and had a nice and clean bar in the middle with a lot of top-shelf options and TV screens above it. There was also an outside seating area which overlooked the Missouri river that was just yards away. We sat at a large table in between the bar and a giant window that overlooked the outside patio seating. I felt like it was a place I could take my old lady out for a steak dinner.

The waitress brought out a menu for me to look at. It was a relatively small menu considering it was only the lunch section, but had some fancy sounding options. There were a lot of different kinds of sandwiches and pastas and a few big options like prime rib and country fried chicken. I’m a fish lover so I decided to order fish and chips, a caesar salad, and a plate of jumbo shrimp as an appetizer.

The shrimp came out and I was disappointed to see they were below-average cocktail shrimp that weren’t jumbo at all. They tasted like they had been frozen and had a rubbery texture to them. The cocktail sauce was average at best; it tasted a little like horseradish and ketchup so I squeezed a little lemon juice to spruce it up a tad. It was 9 dollars for the shrimp but I wasn’t terribly upset about the appetizer as I was sure the main course would be much better, especially considering it, too, had a pretty steep price.

“Jumbo” shrimp. Maybe they were being ironic.

I got the salad before the entree and, again, it tasted not quite up to par considering how pricey and fancy the restaurant was supposed to be. The lettuce was a little soggy with dressing and there weren’t many croutons or cheese.All of the items other than the lettuce were just thrown on top without tossing it in.

The fish and chips finally came and I was disappointed once more. The fish looked like 3 egg rolls. They were basically chunks of cod fish that were breaded and too greasy. The bottoms were soggy from the grease. The chips were bland fries that seemed to have no seasoning or flavor. The tarter sauce had a strange taste to it as well as it was mixed with malt vinegar. It was tough to eat.

Eggrolls- uhm. I mean fish and chips.

The dessert, though, was alright. I ordered a carrot cake that turned out to be ok. It had almonds and a little coconut with white frosting. It was rich and satisfying.

Overall, my last meal was very disappointing. Given the price and the hype of the restaurant, I don’t think it was worth the trip.

I liked this, though.

May 30, 2013 Chase Leave a Comment

Ole!

Inmate: James, Carwood Jones

Inmate number: 2435-235

Location: New Mexico State Prison

Crime: Triple homicide, robbery, failing to signal while changing lanes.

I wanted to get one last good “ef you, world” in before my execution, so I decided to have Mexican food for my last meal, because, let’s be honest, a stomach full of beans and salsa in combination with an electric chair certainly would make for a messy end. For my last meal I had flautas at El Tapatio in Sioux City, Iowa.

The restaurant is located at the old Palmer diner and hotel on Gordon Drive, which seems like a decent location for a small hole-in-the-wall Mexican place. On the inside, it was decorated with some quasi-Aztec looking wall ornaments and painted with some south-of-the-border looking colors; very stereotypical Mexican restaurant. It was strangely ironic that they also played Jennifer Lopez and other latin pop artists over the radio.

Tasteful Mexican decor

As a complementary starter like at most Mexican restaurants, they served us chips and salsa. They were very typical, though the salsa did seem to have an extra spice to them than normal. I ate about a full basket to myself. Their beverage selection was very Americanized, minus their main beer which was Corona (nothing out of the ordinary).

Their food menu, too, was very ordinary. It had the typical burrito, taco, and enchilada dishes as well as chimichangas, carne esada, flautas. They also had large dinner options like steak and seafood. I ordered steak flautas with beans and rice.

It didn’t take long for the food to come out. It looked and smelled, again, like the typical Mexican restaurant food. I took a bite of the flautas, which was basically seasoned steak wrapped in a fried tortilla with enchilada sauce on top. It was a little over-seasoned, but wasn’t bad otherwise. Again, pretty run-of-the-mill. The rice was cooked just right and had a little bit of a nice lemon flavor to it. The beans were refried and kind of runny with a little cheese sprinkled on top but not bad otherwise. I find that a lot of times the food is too hot temperature wise and not hot enough spice wise but this had a good balance between both. It was easy to eat and was at a fair price to boot.

Steak flautas with beans and rice

Overall, the meal was enjoyable and not over-filling. It seemed like a friendly place to have a quick lunch. It was your cookie-cutter mom and pop sort of Mexican joint, but you get what you expect. Also, the patrons eating must have gotten word that I was coming, as one of the men at a booth behind us was carrying a pistol in his back pocket. With a killer like me at a family friendly place like that, though, can you blame him?

Also, I wish I could see the face of the warden when they light me up on that chair. Those beans and hot sauce will do something awful to that small execution chamber. I hope they come prepared. Muhahaha!

May 29, 2013 Chase Leave a Comment

Indigo Palette

Inmate: Mathison, Clifton C.

Inmate number: 2526-134

Location: Shakopee County Prison, Minnesota

Crime: 12 counts murder first degree

Up in Minnesota, where I’m from, we do 3 things right: malls, having lakes, and juicy Lucy’s. For my last meal on death row, then, I decided to get a juicy Lucy at a little joint called Indigo Palette on 4th Street in Sioux City, Iowa. A lot of folk around town said that it was like a small little coffee shop that sells artwork out of it but had a few pretty good food items, so I decided what the hell, it can’t be that bad.

The joint was in the heart of Sioux City’s little hotbed for restaurants and bars. Without the art in the window, it’d be kind of easy to miss. When you first walk in, you don’t really notice that it’s a place to eat; all you see are paintings, a little gift shop counter, and a bar and a few tables. Walking towards the back, though, where we sat was the kitchen window and a stage area set up for live music and open mic nights. The atmosphere definitely felt coffee shop-esque, but it was far different than any Caribou or Tim Hortons.

Artwork for sale at Indigo Palette

I sat down at the table and looked over the beer menu and was surprised to see they had a pretty decent selection. I saw a Founder’s Dirty Bastard on the menu and thought I’d give it a try. My last victim called me a dirty bastard so it brought back fond memories. It was a scotch ale with a nice bold almost porter-like flavor.

Dirty Bastard

I gave a good look at the lunch menu and was sort of shocked to see they had a fair variety of sandwiches and dishes. I saw the Indigo Burger, which is essentially a juicy Lucy or a burger with the cheese and toppings in the middle of the burger, and felt right at home. I ordered it with feta cheese and mushrooms and a side order of onion chips.

The waitress, who seemed like she was the mother of the other two waitresses, seemed friendly enough. When I got my burger and bit into it, though, I noticed that I did not get what I ordered. The relatively undercooked burger contained cheddar cheese instead of my feta and mushrooms. It tasted very generic and lacked efficient toppings, especially onion. This was pretty disappointing, especially considering it was the last meal of a fierce killer. Although I’m ruthless and have nothing to lose, I decided to spare her because the onion chips were tasty. The breading was done very well. It was a nice golden brown, well seasoned, and had just the right amount of grease. I had ranch dipping sauce to go with them (though I could tell it was from a hidden valley packet) and sucked them up. They were so tasty that I ordered another side of them.

The burger that I didn’t order

Fortunately, the price was fair because the food was pretty generic. The atmosphere was nice and you could buy cool artwork there, but overall it was just average.

May 28, 2013 Chase Leave a Comment

Mucho Italiano

Inmate: Miller, John Franklin

Inmate number: 4646-325

Location: Baltimore State Hospital for the Criminally Insane

Crime: First degree murder 5 counts.

I’d like to consider myself a bit of a food connoisseur. I’ve been making good food ever since I was an Army cook back in ‘Nam, so I’ve been around the block a few times. Hell, the reason I ended up here on death row because I, shall I say, was experimenting with a new recipe called “Jeremy’s Liver and Onions,” if you catch my drift. One of my favorite things to make, and to eat, is handmade Italian food. The prison guards wouldn’t let me near any cooking utensils so for my last meal they took me to Trattoria Fresca in Sioux City, Iowa.

The warden got me all dressed up and, when we got to the restaurant, I knew why. It was a fancy authentic (as you can get) Italian restaurant that would be perfect for a date (not to eat but to eat with). It was a grand dining room with large tables in the middle and small tables for two in the window. There was also lots of Italian-themed art on the walls. The waiter came out promptly and took our drink orders. I had a nice Chianti (sssfuhssfuhssfuhsssfuh). In the middle of the table was a basket full of bread, as well. There was regular garlic bread and a bread that had what seemed like marinara sauce on the top.

Dinner for two.

Not long after ordering, our food came out. I had the Gnocchi Al Pomodoro Fresca. The pasta had that homemade touch; it wasn’t slick on the outside like store-bought pasta but had a little bit of that fresh-baked doughy flavor to it, which was exceptional. The pomodoro sauce, which was red sauce and oil and perhaps a little bit of cream (if my tastebuds are correct), was very rich and had a good balanced flavor of spices, basil, and tomato. There were no other sides to go along with the meal but it filled me up regardless. I used what was left of the garlic bread to mop up the sauce. They should jar it.

Gnocchi Al Pomodoro Fresca

For dessert we ordered tiramisu, a cannoli (but left the gun), and another cake-like dish with fudge and chocolate and more fudge and chocolate. The desserts were each very rich and were just as good if not better than the mail course meal. I didn’t have much of those, though, because I was so full, but each were amazingly tasty.

Tiramisu and cannoli.

After our meal, the owner of the place came out and talked to us a bit. He was a nice guy and knew his stuff. He told us that they also had a restaurant in Chicago that had fair success. These guys knew what they were doing and their food proves it. I’d go back all the time.

Muhahahhaha!

May 23, 2013 Chase Leave a Comment

Diamond In The Rough

Inmate: Tan, Jackie

Inmate number: 8679-034

Location: Washington State Penitentiary

Crime: First degree murder two counts, burglary

There are few things in this cruel world that hit the spot quite like good curry. It’s hard to find places that serve up some wicked curry, but one place, Diamond Thai in Sioux City, Iowa, knows how to. My parents used to make a lot of Thai curry before I took them out and ended up in here. I wanted to bring back those childhood memories eating tasty Thai food while hating my parents, so I chose Diamond Thai as my last meal.

The restaurant is a hole-in-the-wall kind of place that sits off West 7th Street next to an old market and an abandoned store. The outside is deceiving, though, because the place is great. The inside is decorated in a lot of original oriental artifacts and artwork. There was even an offering to ancestors in the entry way when we walked in. It is a bit small on the inside, but it just adds to the coziness of the atmosphere.

An offering in the entry way.

Unlike my parents, the people who ran Diamond Thai were very friendly and made you feel at home. The waitress was always smiling and enjoyed our company. She seemed to love her job. She gave us some menus and when I began to look through it I realized I was in Thai heaven (that’s probably as close to heaven I’ll be going). They had a good amount of curry recipes as well as traditional pad thai and other dishes. It took me a long time to decide, but I went with the simmered duck curry, which had duck, green peppers, tomatoes, and pineapple simmered in red curry sauce. For an appetizer I ordered fried tofu with peanut sauce.

Bland and colorless fried tofu. Perfect for the yuppie hipster.

The appetizer arrived and it looked a bit boring and brownish grey, which I suppose is what to expect with tofu. It tasted as bland as it looked, though the peanut sauce was tasty. I worked my way through the small dish, each bite getting more tasteless than the first.

Not too long after finishing, the waitress brought out our meals. I literally had a boat full of food (the dish was in the shape of a boat) and a big bowl of jasmine rice. I wasted little time as I quickly dug in to the meal. It tasted better than from home! The curry, which I ordered at medium heat, had just the right amount of heat and flavor. The flavor was… well, hard to describe. I wanted a straw to drink it up. The duck was great; it tasted a bit like the dark meat of a turkey with a little bit of a wild flavor to it. The veggies were not too soggy and the pineapple accented the red curry perfectly. The jasmine rice soaked up the curry sauce and made the meal more hearty and complete. I could’ve eaten another 3 of those if I had any room in my stomach.

My meal: Duck, green peppers, tomatoes, and pineapple simmered in red curry.

I convinced myself that I had just enough room for a little dessert, so I ordered mango and coconut rice with cream. It tasted a lot like a peach cobbler. The mango was easy to cut in to and had a warm but fresh taste. The coconut rice tasted a bit like tapioca pudding.

Mango and coconut rice.

I finally had enough and could barely move any longer. Diamond Thai is one of my all-time favorite places to eat. It was food to die for.

May 22, 2013 Chase Leave a Comment

A Taste of Tokyo

Inmate: Bridgewater, Darnell

Inmate number: 3636-946

Location: Pelican Bay Prison, California

Crime: Murder first degree, Arson first degree

First of all, I want to make a shout out to my boys D-Bo and Skinny back in the joint, and a shout out to Ray-Ray, Big Fred, and Ice Man from the hood. Tell Momma that they got the wrong guy and I’m going to try and bust out soon.

For my last meal I wanted some steak, fish, and good Asian food so the warden took me to Tokyo Japanese Steakhouse and Sushi Bar. I heard some good reviews about it and noticed they cook the food right in front of you like they do at a Benihana. It was strange to me, though, that it was a Japanese steakhouse. I didn’t realize that they did a lot of cooking with steak.

Tokyo Japanese Steakhouse and Sushi Bar

We got to the restaurant and it took a little bit to get seated, not that I minded considering I’ve spent half my life in an 8 by 10. The restaurant was decorated pretty nicely on the inside. There was a bar for both drinks and sushi and a large seating area. Each table had a big flatiron grill in the middle with seating for about 10 to 12 people. It wasn’t very busy and we had quite a few in the group so we all sat at the same table together. If there are smaller separate groups they generally seat them together at a table. The atmosphere was kind of soothing: it was fairly dimly lit and they played general music from the radio.

The waiter, who was a bit aloof, brought us out a salad with a ginger dressing for starters. It was garnished with something that tasted like fried onions with a similar texture. The ginger dressing had an interesting tangy-ness to it. I ate it pretty quickly. It definitely beats the slop on a tray I’m used to. The menu was fairly small but unique. It had things like swordfish, squid, mahi-mahi, and different cuts of steak . I chose the mahi-mahi with a Sukiyaki sirloin steak. We also ordered some saki with our meal which they brought out to us from the bar. I’m not one for rice wine, especially when it’s hot, but it tasted pretty good. It burned a bit going down to the stomach, but I could handle it. The officer I was with said he was surprised and that he didn’t think I could feel anything at all. I was not amused.

Saki-it to me.

After a little while a cook came out with a cart full of meat, veggies, rice, and other things like bottles of sauces and water and cooking utensils. I thought it was a bit of a stereotype, as he was one of those funny Asian guys with an accent who did cool tricks while cooking, but it was still entertaining. He did things like launching rice into our mouths and set things on fire. I really like fire.

Fire! The little peeing man puts it out.

Watching the cook prepare our food seemed like the main course more so than the meal. That is until I started to eat it. The rice was very tasty. It tasted like good fried rice should, only with lots of butter and garlic for an extra flare. The steak was tender and had that great sirloin flavor. That, too, was cooked in butter and garlic. The mahi-mahi was cooked perfectly. It seemed to melt in my mouth. It didn’t taste like there was much seasoning on it; it just was a genuinely good piece of fish. The veggies, which had mostly zucchini, carrots, broccoli, and mushrooms, were pretty good, too, but seemed like they were still a little bland even with soy sauce. I dipped those in yum yum sauce which was great. The yum yum tasted mostly like thousand island dressing. I got full quickly and could not finish my meal, so they let me take it in a to-go box and snack on it during my execution.

Steak, Mahi, veggies, and rice.

If I could, I’d definitely go back again. They really know how to prepare steak and fish, all while entertaining. Though, I swear I didn’t kill that guy like they said I did, I’d consider killing again for some food like that.

May 21, 2013 Chase Leave a Comment

Da Kao

Inmate: Wallace, James Russel

Inmate number: 2377-096

Location: Ohio State Penitentiary

Crime: Capitol Murder

Today is my last meal. I went to this Vietnamese restaurant, Da Kao, for my last meal. It felt like I was back in the hood. The outside was real shady looking. The parking lot was small and the cement was cracked and uneven. There was a window open in the back from the kitchen that looked like it was blackened from grease. It definitely wasn’t the nicest looking joint on the outside. Once we got inside, though, it looked like any Chinese restaurant I’ve ever been to. There was decorated with eastern style art on the walls and just had that Asian feel to it.

Da Kao on W. 7th St. Sioux City, IA.

When we got our menus the first thing I noticed was how many choices there were. There were at least 75 different things on the menu it seemed. There was a Vietnamese section and a Chinese section. I went with Vietnamese since I’ve never had it before. The names of the dishes were hard to read and pronounce. Everyone I was with seemed real apprehensive about ordering. Choosing a meal felt like that roulette scene from the movie “Deer Hunter.” The wait staff were pretty friendly and helpful, which made ordering easier, though it was tough to understand them a lot of the time. I finally came across something that sounded appetizing. It was called Tom Hoac Heo Ram Man, or grilled pork in “special sauce” with rice. I figured McDonald’s has special sauce that’s decent so I’d try theirs, too.

Here’s what I ordered from the menu. Mine was the number 40.

It didn’t take very long for the food to come out. I got a big bowl of rice with it as well. I asked for chop sticks and the ones they brought out were big heavy plastic ones. They gave me a hand cramp. They were ideal for making a shiv out of, though, which made me want to hide one in my sleeve for when Spider tries to start stuff on the courtyard during rec. Anyway, the plate was full of pork and onions that were cooked in some sort of soy based sauce. It was a little salty but the onion gave a nice taste to the pork. The pork was actually decently tender; it wasn’t so chewy like some Chinese restaurants make theirs. The rice was real tasty. I think it was jasmine rice because it was a little sticky and had that jasmine rice taste to it. It almost tasted like it was cooked in a little bit of soy sauce though it was plain white rice.

Pork with “special sauce” and rice.

I finished the meal fairly quickly. It honestly wasn’t that filling but satisfying enough. Not quite last-meal-before-lethal-injection-satisfying but good enough to go out on. The last time I ordered take-out from Da Kao I had the combo fried rice. I have two regrets: getting myself in prison for stabbing a man in the gut and not ordering the combo fried rice again. But, like I said, it was satisfying enough.

May 20, 2013 Chase Leave a Comment

Red Bones

Name: Miller, Richard Copernicus

Inmate number: 430-9974

Crime: Murder, two counts.

Location: Missouri State Penitentiary

Last meal: Country fried chicken, mac n cheese, collard greens, cornbread.

When the cruiser pulled up to Red Bones, I was a little skeptical. The building looked pretty run down and it wasn’t really in the best neighborhood, which wasn’t as big of a deal considering I’ve spent the last 12 years of my life in a state prison. Once we stepped inside, though, it had a nice cozy atmosphere and it was well decorated. On one wall the restaurant’s title was spelled out with bones, which I particularly liked given my infatuation with bones.

We sat down at a table in the middle of the restaurant and were waited on pretty quickly. The waitress was an older lady who had a little feistiness to her which, for some reason, seemed fitting to the style of the restaurant. I ordered an Arnold Palmer to drink and a fried bologna sandwich as an appetizer. They had a decent amount of your typical appetizers to choose from but the sandwich caught my eye; it took me back to my disgruntled youth where just about every meal I had was friend bologna. It was on buttered and toasted bread with no other condiments but it was still tasty.

Their meal menu wasn’t terribly extensive, which seemed ok because their specialty was southern comfort food. I always ha did not hesitate to use it to cut deep into the flesh of the fried chicken. As I did, the juices poured out, not terribly unlike my last victim. The chicken was very juicy and flavorful. It had a southern style seasoning to it, which is really the only way I know how to describe it. It was way better than any KFC, that’s for sure. The mac n’ cheese was very cheesy. It had several different kinds of cheese from which I could only make out cheddar and jack. The cornbread, too, was excellently done as well. It was nice and moist and had a hint of sweetness, like it was made with honey or something. The highlight of the dish I thought, though, was the greens. They were simmered in spices so they had a great moistness and flavor to them. They were a bit salty, especially towards the bottom of the tiny dish, but it wasn’t terribly overpowering. That’s the one thing on the plate that I kept wanting to come back to. They were simply wonderful. To die for, if, considering my circumstances, was literally the case.

After hastily consuming my meal, like how Hannibal consumed his victims, I had just enough room for a little dessert. I saw peach cobbler on the menu so my decision was easy. It came out with a little bit of whipped cream on top. It had a caramel taste to it and a little spice which reminded me of pumpkin pie. It was very rich and was difficult to finish, but overall it wasn’t half bad.

My experience at Red Bones, despite its outer appearance and location, was very nice. The owner, who opened the place after coming to Sioux City from West Memphis, Tennessee, seemed very nice and knew what she was doing as far as the food goes. I’ll be thinking of those greens when the warden puts the needle in me.

May 15, 2013 Chase

Heaven On A Bun

Name: Bufflin, Gunther Cletus

Inmate Number: 4425-035

Location: Riverbend Maximum Security Facility, Davidson County, Tennessee

Crime: First degree murder

Last Meal: Heaven On A Bun from House of Q, Sioux City, Iowa.

House of Q is family owned and operated. They were real nice and made me feel at home. The owner, Big D, was real helpful. The restaurant looked a bit like an old church or house with the walls torn down. We sat in a big room with a fireplace and a nice comfy lookin’ booth that reminded me of the one in my kitchen at home. It had an atmosphere that I’m used to down south, except for the music. They played mostly 90’s pop songs.

The service was fast and polite. I ordered the Heaven on a Bun sandwich with a side of coleslaw and a Founder’s Centennial IPA beer. I am usually used to my tray being given to me through the door slot so it was nice that the waitress brought it quickly right to my table.

Heaven On A Bun lived up to the name.

The sandwich was as big as all hell. It was a cheeseburger with sausage and smoked beef brisket on a grilled bun. I almost had to use a shiv to cut it but I finally found a good spot to take a bite. The flavor hit me like a tire iron to the skull. The sausage got me right away. It had a nice smokey flavor with the right amount of heat. The brisket was good, too, thought it was slightly dry. It had a great smoke flavor, too. A good squirt of their original barbecue sauce cured the dryness real fast. I tried a few dips of their house honey mustard and honey barbecue sauce, too, and those were good. Each had the right amount of sweetness and bitter heat. The burger and coleslaw were pretty run of the mill, though the coleslaw gave a nice cool contrast to the sandwich. The bun was grilled so it held together real nice and didn’t get soggy. It didn’t take me long to kill that sandwich. Unlike my crime scene, I left few evidence. I was real full afterwards.

As for the beer, they had a huge selection of craft beers, many that I haven’t heard of before. The drink menu was expansive with tons of variety of different types of beers but I went with the IPA. It was pretty average. I more prefer the pruno that we make back at the state pen.

Here’s the view from the order window with the different types of beer above.

One of the best parts about the meal was the price. I’d only have to trade a couple packs of smokes for the whole thing. It was only about 7 or 8 dollars for one huge sandwich and a side.

If I got out of prison I’d definitely go back to House of Q again; maybe even make myself a regular. Again, Big D was a great guy. I wouldn’t have minded receiving letters or visits from him. I can tell he made his food with care and enthusiasm. I can sit on that chair now knowing I have a good meal in my stomach.

The sandwich didn’t survive long.