Descriptive Writing
Today, my Fundamentals of Journalism professor gave me the choice to pick a Big Star ice cream bar or a fruit popsicle. Well if you do not know what Big Star ice cream bar is, it is a chocolate covered vanilla ice cream bar on a stick. I chose the fruit popsicle, as he tilted the open boxes towards me I extended my arm and reached out for the fruit popsicle. My dark brown eyes searched the fruit popsicle box for my favorite fruit popsicle, the orange flavored popsicle. I caught a glimpse of one orange popsicle sitting in the third row of assorted popsicles. My small, tanned hands grabbed the popsicle, I felt the hard frozen treat in my warm hands. It was cold and slightly moist, I did not mind the coldness since the popsicle is going to be devoured anyways. I opened the white package that stored my popsicle, keeping it safe from unwanted hands and predators. The package paper tore open easily, making a small rustling noise like a mouse creeping through the house at night searching for little morsels of food. I left the popsicle in the package admiring the luscious orange color and then I slowly picked it up. I took the first bite, tearing off the tip of the popsicle like some savage, starving wolf. The feeling of the artificially flavored popsicle in my salivating mouth was unbelievable, it was cold like the artic and a little slushy since it was beginning to melt after being left out for so long. The taste was as expected, bitter sweet due to my choice of consuming artificially flavored citrus ice cream than sweet vanilla ice cream. I finished the popsicle in 5 bites because it was a fairly small popsicle, possibly 5inches in length, 3inches in width, and a quarter of an inch in height.
September 4th, 2012 at 2:01 am
I like “five bites.” It’s exact. Good use of sensory detail. I also like the emphasis on artificiality. You could work with that.
Ask me about point of view some time.
March 27th, 2013 at 10:04 pm
I’m a retired American and I have a keen interest in looking for a haven, Whats the cost of the homes that are on display ?