This caught my attention because I rarely hear or see an article about people killing penguins in the news. However, I do not like their lead. They are just saying how everyone loves penguins and that they don’t eat zookeepers. It’s adorable and funny but I feel that it should focus more on why the penguins are being killed.
I would change the second paragraph to be the lead and delete the actual lead. They also have a few grammar errors that need to be fixed. I think they should of moved their ending paragraph information up sooner and moved the information on other animals and whether or not humans can get it towards the end.
I like how they have quotes of doctors and biologists. I like how it includes why and how the penguins are getting and if humans can get it. They also tell how a zoo gets their birds to eat the pills put in fish that was interesting. They report cases from zoos that have had that outbreak in birds and how many have died.
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October 13th, 2013 at 2:25 pm
If this was a hard news story I would agree with you, Amber.
But it’s a feature, so the soft lead is OK. You might look at it
as if it was a broadcast story. Get attention with the first graf<
then get the important stuff in the second.
We'll do features toward the end of the semester.
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