Around 8.30 pm, there were a couple of armed robbery who were wearing ski masks, went into the store to make an action at 450 Stanley Street last night. Barney Joseph Jr, the owner is 43 years old who was living at 1625 11th Ave, was hijacked by one of the robbers while the other guy was taking cash out, $382.65, from the cash register.
One of the sergant said the owner kept the gun he had, underneath the counter but he didn’t use it. Barney gave a speech to the police that he felt unwisely to reach for the gun because robbers came in here less than a mintue.
There was a situation that was quite similar to this 25 years ago. Barney’s father was killed at the same store, BJ’s Drug. After I was watching the clip through Braney’s name, I decide to call him ask if he recalled that shooting during the holdup. “Yes , Dad resisted, I guess” , they found him shot to death, his own gun in his hand, and a bullet in the store’s ceiling. I’d rather part with my money than my life,” he said.
Simplify, Winyou. Not every detail needs to go into that first graf. What’s most important? It’s not WHEN. It’s WHAT.
Two men wearing ski masks robbed BJ’s Drug last night.
Force yourself to write simple, declarative sentences.