Reilly's Ramblings

These last two years of college has brought the thought into my head. “Why don’t I have a boyfriend?” There are two answers to this question.

One, I am very focused on my education and want to graduate from Morningside College with a bachelor’s of arts degree in Mass Communications.  Two, my social life is going to work, to the grocery store, and helping my mom clean the house and yard.

I have this debate in my head almost every day, and I always pick school over having a decent, healthy social life that includes having a boyfriend. Ever since I came to Morningside, this feeling of loneliness is dominating my mindset. But I feel like I’m not the only one with this feeling on campus.

There is this sense that having a boyfriend will be fun and exciting. But, there is also the sense of trying to juggle a romantic relationship and school at the same time. You’re in college to earn a degree not to get a boyfriend. Focus on yourself is what my mother tells me everytime that I’m thinking about wanting a boyfriend.

She says, “Everyone will feel lonely.”

College is supposed to be fun and exciting, not worrying about going on dates with your boyfriend or trying to find time to spend it with him. College is also supposed to be about your education and your future. My mom wants me to focus more on getting a degree than finding a boyfriend.

I’m just too focused on my future and not looking at the present. I mean I have checked out a few guys on campus; it’s not like I’m not looking at all. It just I’m not checking out or dating the first guy that I see.

My dearest and understanding mother says, “For you, you are goal-oriented.”

That I know, for sure, is true. My mom is my best friend, and I can go to her for everything and anything. So going to her about this lingering problem was much more challenging than I thought. My thought was that she would feel that I’m odd and weird, but as it turned out, she’s having the problem of not going out like me but in the early-50’s version.

She has been divorced for five years and hasn’t gone on a date in over 25 years. I haven’t had a boyfriend and haven’t been out with a guy in six years. The “sad” part about all of this is that my gram and my aunt have boyfriends before my mom and I do.

My mom and I don’t go out a lot. We are too focused on work, paying the bills, and for me, school. We are almost like the same person but different at the same time.

She has to get out there and have a healthy social life too, like me. As people say, “Like mother, like daughter.” She puts it best about why I am in college and not to have a boyfriend or even a social life.

“You’re there to get a piece of paper, a significant piece of paper, that will stay with you for life.”

Having a college degree is very important for that dream job I always want. Especially in the money that I will be making in the position.

“It makes a big difference in your income.”

I wish that I can have the best of both worlds. I want to have a great boyfriend and be successful in school and out of school. The thing is that I have a crush on a guy that I saw in the library a couple of times. I know that it’s weird, but that’s life for you.

It all depends on what my mindset is and what I want my life to be at this point. I am more worried about my happiness than making others happy. But it is what it is. Life will always be complicated, and that is something that I will have to live with forever.

My mom says, overall, “It’s what you want in life.”

My mom and I’s relationship wasn’t always the best. There are a few reasons why starting the big one with me going through puberty. There is also the fact that my parents’ divorce was not a pleasant experience. I didn’t know the full extent of the reason behind the divorce until years later.

Every relationship goes through ups and downs in a lifetime. For me, I couldn’t understand why she left my dad. I was living in a bubble, and when the separation happened, the bubble burst like a balloon popping.

I had to learn to go with my gut instinct, and I have my mom to thank for that quality. The divorce was a life lesson that I didn’t know that I needed until I look back on it. My mom gave a chance and opportunity to find out about me and who I am.

She is someone that I look up to and having the strong bond with her is incredible. The ups and downs don’t change the fact that she will always be my mom. A relationship works both ways, and that’s the beauty of it.

The constant factor in talking about dating, school, the future, and past experiences in my life is my mom. She is the one factor that I can go to for everything and anything. Our relationship is similar to others because there are many factors and pieces that anyone takes from looking at us.

Moms will always be there to support you and love you no matter what. Every child learns that at a young age. The love and support from moms will never leave. I’m very thankful that my mom is always there for me and that our relationship is stronger than ever. I honestly wouldn’t be here where I’m at in life if it wasn’t for my mom.