They say that rain on your wedding day is a bad sign, but a shooting takes it to another level. Reports say that there was a shooting at a wedding yesterday.
Sargent Mann, a police spokesman, had this to say about the shooting: “Richard Brunson, 50, shot his wife, Laurette Kenny Brunson, 38, with a .22-caliber handgun.” The shooting took place at approximately 5pm yesterday.
Walter Course, a neighbor of the Brunson’s, said: “the son came out yelling she’s been shot and can’t breathe.” Laurette was shot in the abdomen then taken to St. Lukes Hospital. Laurette is said to be in satisfactory condition.
The first sentence works as a throwaway lead. Use the next sentece to give the important details of the story (the “real” lead): Laurette Brunson was shot in the abdomen by her husband Kenny. She is recovering ….
Then go to the other details. I like the way you introduced Mann. This way you don’t have that awkward hesitation between “said” and the actual soundbite.
Time to record.