Nancy Cornel was 12 when she encountered her first shark in the water. She was swimming in the salty water when she felt its rough skin rub up against her. At twelve she had the resolve to calmly swim back to land where most people would probably flip out and die of panic. Maybe it was Nancy’s fear of sharks that brought her from sunny California to blustery cold Iowa.
Good start, Kiki, but fill it out a bit. How did the calm swim back become a fear of sharks? What happened in between?
Can Nancy describe what she was thinking, what she felt at the moment? How did people react when she came out of the water? Was their reaction what led to fear?
How will this fit the larger profile? Is she now studying to be a marine biologist?