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Rewrite on Quick story

September 15th, 2010 by Gustav

Elderly man kills himself and harms other in car accident

A South Sioux City male resident died in a car collision yesterday morning on highway 20. Moyer Quick, 65, maneuvered his rear-end into a 17-year-old’s truck when he passed him. The three survivors of the accident had to be transported by the ambulance.

Quick’s wife Dorothy is reported to be in okay condition, while her friend Maxine, who was in the car with the married couple, must have suffered from minor bruises. Young Randy Radin, on the other hand, took a fractured skull and internal injuries from the accident. His situation is described as critical.

Both vehicles were proceeding in westward direction on the two-lane highway. Quick’s rear-end struck Radin’s truck, the impact sending both vehicles into the ditch, Iowa Highway Patrolman Patric Stewart explained.

Posted in News Production - Comm 208 | | | 3 Comments

3 Responses to ' Rewrite on Quick story '

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  1.   fuglsang said,

    on September 16th, 2010 at 1:16 PM

    Be careful with the headline, Gustav. I don’t think he was committing suicide.

    The first sentence of the story makes for a good lead. But rather than going into a narrative of the accident, tell me who was injured and what their condition is. Then the accident.

    A god shot.

  2.   fuglsang said,

    on September 17th, 2010 at 2:03 PM

    “good” not god.

    I would also flag “old man.”

  3.   Gustav said,

    on September 17th, 2010 at 5:49 PM

    what do you mean by god?

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