Sep 06 2018
Rewrite Mole Day story lede
Original lede: “On Oct. 23, chemists around the world come together to celebrate a sacred holiday amongst their profession: Mole Day. On that same day, millions of non-chemists look in confusion as chemists wish them a happy Mole Day.”
Revision #1: For chemists, Oct. 23 is a day that celebrates a sacred holiday, called Mole Day. For non-chemists, Oct. 23 it is just another day in the month.
Revision #2: Mole Day is a holiday that is not well-known to many people, but for chemists, it is an essential holiday to be celebrated.
One response so far
One Response to “Rewrite Mole Day story lede”
You could play up the “sacredness” in the first lead. Just for fun. And maybe play up the contrast. Second one: two sentences.
Take your time. What if you kind of combined the two? A short graf of what the the world is doing Oct. 23. Then a longer paragraph of the fun and excitement. People celebrating. In a lab. Blowing out candles on the Mole Day cake.