Minerva’s

Inmate: Shannonfield, Chance R.

Inmate number: 0355453

Location: Clarinda Pennitentary, Iowa  Mexico

Crime: First degree murder record is clean

I’m typing this, today, as my last blog and testament before my esc- I mean before by execution as a death row inmate in the state of Iowa. It’s here that I will log my final break- I mean my final meal on this Earth. For my last meal, I was taken to Minerva’s in Hamilton Blvd. in Sioux City.

The outside of the restaurant looks nice; there’s a quaint patio seating area for intimate meals with a date, and minimal security and close to a bus stop. The inside reminds me of a bistro, with plenty of seating and exits. Overall, it has a welcoming atmosphere, like you could sit at a fireplace and sip brandy. The staff are easy to recognize, as they dress in all black. You could easily slip past them, as they are generally preoccupied with excellent service to restaurant patrons. They even have a bar like you would see in one of those upscale places in Chicago, with a large selection of different drinks.

The waitress allowed us to order from an appetizer menu which is normally only available for dinners. I ordered the coconut shrimp. I also got a glass of peach lemonade, which was crisp and refreshing.

The shrimp came out on a platter flooded with soy and wasabi sauce. It would make for an excellent oil slick to leave the guards in your dust. The shrimp was nicely breaded. It was a little well done but not too crispy and wasn’t overpowered by coconut flavor. The wasabi really was an interesting contrast that cleared my sinuses and heightened my senses (which I’ll need shortly).

Coconut shrimp

Coconut shrimp

There were two different lunch menus to choose from. The first was very small and had summer-themed dishes that included fresh fruit. The second was their house menu that had different sandwiches, pastas, and fish and beef entrees. I decided to choose from the summer menu, because it looked light but with just enough food to keep you alive on the run for a day or so. I went with the Maui Fish Tacos that had mahi-mahi, pineapple, cilantro, and lime.

The meal came out just in time. The restaurant became a little more busy and distracted the staff and guards. The tacos were not bad. The pineapple was a little overpowering but overall, the fish had good flavor and the spice blended well with the sweetness of the fruit. The tortilla shells, too, were cooked just right: not too crispy, not too rubbery. I was only able to eat one and got a to-go box for the other. The waitress is now flirting with the guards so I just slipped my fork down to my ankle cuffs and undid them. They didn’t notice when I asked if I could use the restroom. They really don’t notice me! I’m walking out the front door! I’m heading straight to the bus stop now. I’M FREE! I’VE ESCAPED! AHAHAHAHAHA! Next stop, Mexico!