Rewriting the Lead
The lead for the story, “New Reality for High School Students: Calculating the Risk of Getting Shot” was very good. It brings the reader right into the article because it discusses a sad truth. It states that after the Texas school shooting, children 1,000 miles away are contemplating the possibility of shooters coming to their schools as well. It quickly goes into the accounts of two Iowa students that have thought about how unsafe their schools are and what they would do if a shooter came into their school.
In rewriting this lead you could start off with one of the student’s plans on what they would do if a shooter would come into their school or you could include some basic information on the rise in school shootings in America. The real goal in this kind of lead is showing how teenagers are basically assuming that shootings are becoming somewhat normal now and that they aren’t even surprised when they happen.
September 10th, 2018 at 1:55 pm
I liked the honesty of the quotes used in the lead. The author “shows” before she tells by using the word “unnerving.”
Statistics wouldn’t work for me. I like the idea of hearing from the students, whether its plans or fears. What’s weird is some kids (not in this story) have already planned out their funerals. What does that say about us.