Broadcast Story 2



2 Comments so far

  1.   fuglsang on November 1st, 2017

    Good throwaway/soft lede. Good introduction of quotes.

    The organization is a bit different — going to description of the happy day before it took the dark turn — but I think that could work here. You are asking a lot of your reader, though. You tease in the quote, but don’t follow through until about the 30-second mark.

  2.   fuglsang on November 1st, 2017

    (Sorry, hit the submit button early.)

    Given your structure, ending with Laurette’s condition makes sense, but I think that is the news and should be higher.

    OK on attribution.

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