Shayla Harding, 41, is a wife and mother of five girls ranging in age from twenty-one to three. As she walks around the house in her gray sweatpants and baggy t-shirt, she picks up after her three and six-year-old. Her hair is in a loose, messy bun on top of her head, and she multi-tasks by cleaning up and prepping for tonight’s dinner, a work-life balance all too familiar to stay-at-home moms. Her husband Charlie walks into the house to grab a quick lunch, complains about how disorganized the house is and how sick he is with the mess, all while not offering to lift a finger.
Shayla and Charlie Harding were high school sweethearts and were married 21 years ago when the unexpected pregnancy of their first child, Marie, caused the couple to say their vows. “I’m almost positive that we would’ve gotten married anyways,” Shayla noted. Through the beginning years of their marriage, they had Ashley, 19, and Kayleigh, 16. Shayla thought that they were done having kids, even though Charlie had still wanted a son, and that narrative had stayed true until 2012, when Shayla found out she was pregnant with Jaclyn, now 6. “Jaclyn was kind of an oops,” Shayla said laughing. “After we had her we decided we should give her a friend.” Three years later, Bailey was born.
On the outside, Shayla seems to be content with her life, but in reality, she’s about to make a huge lifestyle change for her and her family. Shayla is filing for divorce from her husband of 21 years.
Shayla and Charlie’s marriage got rockier and rockier over the years. Shayla claims that her and Charlie fought a lot about insignificant things, but money most importantly. According to Shayla, Charlie buying a small business did not help with the marital stress. In 2012, Charlie bought a small town restaurant with a connected bowling alley, with no real experience on how to run one. The family still owns and runs the business today, although Charlie threatens to sell it whenever they run into financial problems. “Dad’s funny that way. Whenever we get in a rough spot his reaction is to yell and try to run away,” Marie, the oldest of the five, said.
Although Shayla has not yet served Charlie a divorce petition, she is sure about her decision to leave him. She’s positive that the divorce will not be an easy one and that custody of her younger children will be a huge battle to be fought. Still, Shayla is ready to take back her happiness and live life a little for herself.
When asked outright about why she’s filing for divorce now, Shayla said, “I love my children, and I know that a divorce is hard on a family, but for 21 years, I have been living for my family and putting myself last. I want to start living for me, all while still taking care of my babies.”
“I’m happy for my mom,” Ashley stated. “I’ve known that she’s been unhappy for a long time, and I love my dad – don’t get me wrong – but it’s really the best for them and the best for us.”
For now, Shayla continues to take care of her family and keep the house as orderly as she possibly can in her sweatpants and messy hair. Even though she isn’t as free as she’d like to be, Shayla is always looking forward to the day that she finally takes back her own happiness