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September 26th, 2010 by Gustav

“When the unemployment rate is so high and people are having a tough time, it doesn’t matter if I was green, it doesn’t matter if I was purple,” he said matter-of-factly. “I think people would still be frustrated.”

Quotes from the president are always interesting, especially when they represent a statement of opinion. This quote is worth being used because it’s easy to understand and fits well into any article that’s related to employment rates, or green politics.

Posted in News Production - Comm 208 | | | 2 Comments

WNC #4

September 23rd, 2010 by Gustav

Top Tennis Players Want Changes in Davis Cup, by Christopher Clarey

This story from the N.Y. Times on the Davis Cup (nationwide competition) deals with the request of top tennis players to change the stage, time, basically the whole thing, in order to avoid a lower turn out rate of big names. Since the Davis Cup takes place only one week after the US Open, players are tired and moreover don’t want to travel long distances for only a couple matches. The author goes on to talk about Team USA and their discussions about team captains and choice of players. Also, Novak Djokovic serves as an example for the impact of smaller nations in the Davis Cup.

Unlike the other three that I have evaluated so far, this story is poorly written. The lead is horrible. In the headline it hints towards the difficulties of the Davis Cup arrangements, and then the story begins with Novak Djokovic’s attendance at the tournament. I couldn’t understand what the story would be about, not until the 5th or 6th paragraph, when finally the author explains the issue at hand. There is no quote to introduce the article. The main information doesn’t appear until halfway through. I cannot make out any principle or organization. The facts are good, but not reader-friendly arranged. Also, all of a sudden the focus of the story changes: Team USA becomes the topic of the last few paragraphs. Why? Well, the information isn’t bad, but there are too many teasers instead of a discussion. With a little organization and a better headline, this article could have stirred some decent discussion about length and scheduling of tournaments.

Posted in Weekly News Comment | | | 1 Comments

Lead Exercise 4

September 20th, 2010 by Gustav

GUN

Two men robbed BJ’s drug store and threatened its owner with a gun to his head last night. They both wore ski masks and could escape preying cash.

The owner, Barney Joseph, Jr., 43, was not hurt. He later told the police he had a gun under the counter but was scared to use it; found it unwise. His dad was shot to death in a similar incident at the same store about 25 years ago. Joseph said he “would rather part with his money than with his life”.

The whole robbery took less than a minute. The two bandits left their car running outside so they could escape quickly.

SUFFOLK DOWNS

Horse racing season at Suffolk Downs, Boston, will start rather quietly after 25 horses became victims of a fire during the early morning hours. Fifteen of the horses died, the others escaped. The suspected cause of the fire is arson.

Among the dead horses were 13 thoroughbreds and two saddle horses. The wooden structured, one-story barn shows few remains, as the fire nourished until noon. After investigating, fire chief Jim Connery felt the fire was “definitely suspicious”.

Dan Bucci, assistant general manager of the track said: “It could have been of an incendiary nature because the fire started in the middle of the barn. Heaters and electrical outlets are in the tack rooms at the end of the barn.”

Posted in News Production - Comm 208 | | | 1 Comments

WNC #3

September 16th, 2010 by Gustav

WNC #3

Doctors’ Group Attacks McDonald’s in TV Ad, by Duffy Wilson

This article from the N.Y. Times posted online today was quite amusing to me. The headline sounded interesting and out-of-the-blue to me. So I clicked on it. There is a group of doctors that publicly attacked America’s number one fast food choice: McDonald’s. They filmed a commercial displaying a thick, dead man with a burger in his hand. At the end of the sequence it says: “Tonight, make it vegetarian.” The main focus of the story is to present McDonald’s response and the backgrounds to the TV ad.

I really like the way this story is presented. It is short, uses inverted pyramid style and even integrates the actual subject, as one can access the ominous ad between the opening paragraphs. The lead might not be as clear and informing, but it throws some concepts out there that are related to the point of the story. After the introduction of the advertisement, the author explains its origin and McDonald’s response to it, which I thought was a good idea to start with (directly opposing the two “interest groups”). Then the group of doctors’ founding and background is explained. I didn’t necessarily want to read all that, but that’s why you can find it fairly late in the story (‘fairly’ because the article is relatively short compared to stories about politics or economy). I also think the author used appropriate and well fitting quotes and style of language.

Btw… I liked this advertisement so much; I had to post it on my Facebook page 😉

Posted in Weekly News Comment | | | 1 Comments

Rewrite on Quick story

September 15th, 2010 by Gustav

Elderly man kills himself and harms other in car accident

A South Sioux City male resident died in a car collision yesterday morning on highway 20. Moyer Quick, 65, maneuvered his rear-end into a 17-year-old’s truck when he passed him. The three survivors of the accident had to be transported by the ambulance.

Quick’s wife Dorothy is reported to be in okay condition, while her friend Maxine, who was in the car with the married couple, must have suffered from minor bruises. Young Randy Radin, on the other hand, took a fractured skull and internal injuries from the accident. His situation is described as critical.

Both vehicles were proceeding in westward direction on the two-lane highway. Quick’s rear-end struck Radin’s truck, the impact sending both vehicles into the ditch, Iowa Highway Patrolman Patric Stewart explained.

Posted in News Production - Comm 208 | | | 3 Comments

Story-writing exercise 09/15/2010

September 14th, 2010 by Gustav

Local fire fighter saves cat

Breaking his leg, a local fire fighter saved a cat out of a 50 feet oak tree. The cat climbed up into the big tree at 102 11th avenue. When fire fighter Bob Harwood secured the frightened animal, a dead limb broke underneath him so that both the cat and the man fell the last 15 feet.

Calico, so the cat’s name, landed on top of Bob and left the scene without a scratch. Bob had to be examined at St. Lukes Hospital, where they diagnosed a broken leg but said “he’ll be doing just fine.”  The two twins, Suzanne and Samantha Decker, who own the cat, can thank their hero for his risky rescue attempt.

General unrest at East High

Ten upperclassmen were suspended for one week, as they supposedly made false alarm sound three times last Wednesday. The students were disgruntled because five of their fellow east-highers had been suspended from school due to smoking marijuana in the school’s parking lot on Monday. They simply wanted to protest.

Just on Tuesday, the cafeteria closed because a food fight broke out. Principal Laura Vibelius thinks there is “not so much unrest because of suspensions, but because summer vacation being so near.” She is positive not to experience similar incidents in the near future.

Gas truck incident temporarily shocks east suburban area of Sioux City

A gasoline truck overturned on the outskirts of Sioux City, causing set-up of reroutes and evacuations of four families. The gas from the Texaco truck flooded into surrounding sewer lines, leaving puddles on the streets and in the ditches.

The following two hours after the accident, cars had to be rerouted through side streets, as the intersection 48th and Correctionville Rd. was blocked. “Our men strictly followed catastrophe and hazmat procedures that were set up beforehand for such occurrences”, Fire Chief Charles Hochandel said about the work of his men.

No one was injured or health-impaired, as concerned families had been evacuated quickly enough to avoid the gas ascending from the sewer lines.

Posted in News Production - Comm 208 | | | 2 Comments

Final Draft Paper#1 on Description

September 12th, 2010 by Gustav

Don’t Stop & Leave

by Gustav Hollnagel

The Kum-&-Go on Morningside avenue used to be a 7/11 around ten years ago. The gas station itself hasn’t been renovated since, but the counter has moved from time to time.

The white and red signs saying “kum & go” are remotely visible. There are only two pumps. The occasional white pick-up or dark-colored car stops to access the market function of the gas station. Car engines keep running while their owners enter the transparent aluminum door. Milk, tobacco, and snacks are the highlights of revenue when the day grows older. When night approaches the place turns into a desert.

The grey, clustered clouds above it provide atmosphere close to a foggy tavern silently nourishing in Northern Europe; empty and socially evaded. There is a light at the side of the building that is quite functional. However, the occasional “buzz” visibly resounds.

Entering the station bright lights burn your eye light, their sources spread among advertisement, special offers, and product packaging. Virtually no one except the cashier resides between the aisles and different food corners. Empty, deserted, socially evaded. It’s a vacant castle where candy bars and carbonated drinks are the replacement for ancient bricks and wooden bars.

“Klick”. The aluminum door opens. Twice. A Morningside College professor walks in. To a Kum-&-Go around 8 pm at night. He looks a tad confused about what he came here for; then he recalls. Apparently, professors are hunters of cheap fountain drinks. Bargain of the night: 32 oz. drink for only 59 cents.

The place shines thirstily when another customer approaches the food and fountain corner, which practically draws immediate attention to a disoriented customer. Even the desert is home to flowering oases. One chats with the fellow camel, consults about the fortunes ad fates, and after 2 minutes of irrelevant talk it all regresses back to human life.

The cashier was evidently glad he could present his exotic offerings to the tidy travelers, at least tonight that is. Surprisingly, between two customers one could claim to observe outmost diversity.

“Zzz-zz-nnnn-zzzz”. The ice machine recurrently starts humming. Have a slushy or some frozen food while you’re at it. “Cha-ching”. The cash register flies open and is pushed close just as fast. One could become distracted in this place. Too many unexpected sounds. Some sort of steady beep tone springs from the backside of the tobacco facet. Marlboro Light; Marlboro Menthol; Marlboro 100’s; Marlboro Menthol Light; Marlboro Regular; Marlboro Ultra Light; Marlboro Paradise? Marlboro Heaven? Tobacco must be hard to come by at other places after seeing this arsenal of lung extinguishers.

The sub convex mirrors at the end of the outside aisles reflect the image of the black guy exiting the station, fountain drink in his hand. Cashier X jolly awaits the two cars leaving, so he can too exit the red, purple and shop-worn interior. It won’t be his last cigarette for the night…

Posted in News Production - Comm 208 | | | Comments Off on Final Draft Paper#1 on Description

Story assignment on description

September 9th, 2010 by Gustav

Don’t Stop & Leave

The Kum-&-Go on Morningside avenue used to be a 7/11 around ten years ago. The gas station itself hasn’t been renovated since, but the counter has moved from time to time. The white and red sign saying “kum & go” is remotely visible. There are only two pumps. The occasional white pick-up or dark-colored car stops to access the market function of the gas station. Car engines keep running while their owners enter the transparent aluminum door. Milk, tobacco, and snacks are the highlights of revenue when the day grows older. When night approaches it is a deserted place. The grey wall of clouds above it made the place come close to a tavern in Northern Ireland when the fog looms around the forested hills; empty and socially evaded. There is a light at the side of the building that is quite functional. However, the occasional “buzz” visibly resounds.

Entering the station bright lights burn your eye light, their sources spread among advertisement, special offers, and product packaging. Virtually no one except the cashier resides between the aisles and different food corners. Empty, deserted, socially evaded. It’s a vacant castle where candy bars and carbonated drinks are the replacement for ancient bricks and wooden bars. “Klick”. The aluminum door opens. Twice. Assume once would meet a professor at a Kum-&-Go around 8 pm at night. Assume it’s real. Apparently, professors are hunters of cheap fountain drinks. Bargain of the night: 32 oz. drink for only 59 cents. The place shines thirstily when another customer approaches the food and fountain corner, which practically draws immediate attention to a disoriented customer. Even the desert accommodates oases. One chats with the fellow camel, joins forces for a while it seems, and after 2 minutes of irrelevant talk it all regresses back to human life. The cashier was evidently glad he could present the exotic offerings of his own oases, at least tonight that is. Surprisingly, among two customers one could claim to observe outmost diversity.
“Zzz-zz-nnnn-zzzz”. The ice machine recurrently starts humming. Have a slushy or some frozen food while you’re at it. “Cha-ching”. The cash register flies open and is pushed close just as fast. One could become distracted in this place. Too many unexpected sounds. Some sort of steady beep tone springs from the background of the tobacco facet. Marlboro Light; Marlboro Menthol; Marlboro 100’s; Marlboro Menthol Light; Marlboro Regular; Marlboro Ultra Light; Marlboro Paradise? Marlboro Heaven? Tobacco must be hard to come by at other places after seeing this arsenal of lung extinguishers. The sub convex mirrors at the end of the outside aisles reflect the image of the black guy exiting the station, fountain drink in his hand. Cashier X jolly awaits the two cars leaving, so he can too exit the red, purple and shop-worn interior. It won’t be his last cigarette for the night…

Posted in General, News Production - Comm 208 | | | 4 Comments

WNC #2

September 8th, 2010 by Gustav

Germany Extends Nuclear Plants’ Life, by Judy Dempsey

This story from the N.Y. Times deals with the decision of Germany’s chancellor Angela Merkel to finally extend the program of nuclear energy for all 17 nuclear plants there is. Payment for the whole plan shall come from a newly imposed tax on utilities’ companies, mainly the 4 biggest energy producers in Germany. Merkel might face problems implementing her plan because she lacks majority representation in the parliament’s upper house.

I like this artcile a lot, and that is not only because I don’t have to click a “next page” button. The author organized her story well with presenting the most important facts in the first 3 paragraphs (including the lead, which is fairly short and sums up the story). One could basically stop reading there and get out with relevant information. The author then proceeds to include statistics and quotes from experts or respectively opponents of Merkel’s plan. The paragraphs are not building up on another, but they don’t have to. They are precise and usually contain one certain idea or information the author wants to present but not expand on. They way it is written is very formal and contains practically no subjective comments. No big words people need to dig for in their dictionaries; concise language which leads the reader to develop thoughts on related topics. A nice mixture of environmental policies, economy (taxation), political processes, and opinions to back it up.

Posted in Weekly News Comment | | | 1 Comments

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